Apprenticeship? (Full Version)

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aishchai -> Apprenticeship? (4/30/2007 9:43:38 AM)

I've been trying to find a Dom to apprentice me. (At the moment I think of myself as switch, but I'm definitely in a Dom space right now). I have some experience in elements of play, but there are other areas I'd like to learn more of. I'm wondering under which circumstances other Doms would apprentice someone, and how best should I approach people with this request?



SirMIkeSD -> RE: Apprenticeship? (4/30/2007 10:14:00 AM)

Find someone you respect and have a conversation with them asking if they would be willing to mentor you in the area(s) that you are intrested in.  Before you do this define what those area(s) are clearly and what you want to get out of this. This will allow the person to fully understand what you want and the time commitment that they need to be able to make.

Also I would try and keep it to one specific area, this will give you the chance to see how they mentor and if there style works for you.

Mike




Stranger1 -> RE: Apprenticeship? (4/30/2007 11:59:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aishchai

I've been trying to find a Dom to apprentice me. (At the moment I think of myself as switch, but I'm definitely in a Dom space right now). I have some experience in elements of play, but there are other areas I'd like to learn more of. I'm wondering under which circumstances other Doms would apprentice someone, and how best should I approach people with this request?


Just get a really cute girlfriend.



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Apprenticeship? (4/30/2007 12:28:03 PM)

AN interesting thread,in the past DIANE and I have had a mentorship deal where we would select one to spend the summer here on the farm,that was when we had our bdsm center up and running,WE may consider this situation again this summer..  WE will let it be known if we do..bounty



Archer -> RE: Apprenticeship? (4/30/2007 12:28:11 PM)

Personally feel you are making a great choice, to try to find someone to apprentice with.
If you were local to me I could give you a few names or even consider you for apprenticship myself.
Finding someone local to you who will negotiate an apprenticship might be easier if you make some contacts with the local community.
Negotiate what you expect to learn as well as what is to expected of you in terms of service for tuition.



LeatherBentOne -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/1/2007 7:34:53 AM)

I'd ask you the question,"What's in it for me?"

There are some Dominants, myself being one of them, that ask this questions as mentoring or establishing an apprenticeship is a lot of work.  Not just on your side, but especially on the Dominant who must invest much thought, time and energy (not to mention responsibilty) in taking on an apprentice.  So, we ask where the win-win situation is in regards to our "extra" efforts, not saying that learning isnt an effort, but teaching can be especially draining to some.  Ive been on both sides of the whip regarding this issue.

Therefore . . . one of my requirements is that an apprentice bottom for me, preferably submit as well.  That being said, I feel less drained as I have some energy coming back to me.  Secondly, Im one of those who believes it's a character-building experience for one to "pay their dues."  Thirdly, Ive always felt that a Dominant is more at an advantage to get into a submissive's mind on top of using S/m techniques and what inflicted pain really feels like on a physical, mental and sprititual level.  Also, I believe that I am a better Dominant for having done so; however, Im not using this experience to compare myself to other Dom/Dommes but to how I might dominate had I not had the experience myself.  I did this for 5 years in real life but their is only one real-life Dominant I'd ever consider subbing/bottoming to, who is incidently one of my previous Dommes and the one I consider to be the "love of my life."

Best of luck to you during your journey.  I hope Ive given you and others another prospect to consider.

LBO



slaveish -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/1/2007 12:19:36 PM)

Just to add my two-cents worth, experienced subs can also help train a newbie Dom. We've been around the block, know the mindset, but choose to submit rather than to Dominate.



aishchai -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/2/2007 3:45:48 AM)

Thanks for the info to date everyone. I understand what was meant in "being trained by a sub"- certainly I think a sub can give good feedback, but really I think it requires observation of a Dom in action to pick up techniques and truly see the energy interplay.



LeatherBentOne -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/2/2007 5:47:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

Just to add my two-cents worth, experienced subs can also help train a newbie Dom. We've been around the block, know the mindset, but choose to submit rather than to Dominate.


Indeed, and I have no doubt about an experience sub helping to train a Dominant.  I referred to Dominants as a direct reply to the OP and had not intention of omitting that fact. 



earthycouple -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/2/2007 5:58:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

I'd ask you the question,"What's in it for me?"


LBO


How bout one more person who doesn't think our lifestyle is a game or silly or sick and twisted in the wrong ways? 

How bout the satisfaction of knowing you helped someone who needs help?

Why does there always have to be something in it for you?

While I am a FemDom....I am all about mentoring and helping...and believe more people should so our culture doesn't go the way of the head tripping self indulged idiots who think our life is a big game or joke to get laid.

D~



Archer -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/2/2007 10:44:16 AM)

I think se's just further down the spectrum of my own statement of Think about what you are willing to trade for your tuition.

Now myself I'm not as intereted in an apprentice physicly bottoming to me as them providing some service in return.
Could be they carry my bag, set up for my scenes, observe the scene, repack my bag and carry it back to the car after the evening is over, and then clean and condition the toys. All under supervision at first for instruction, but still providing me with a serice in return for the instruction they recieve.

I'm all about education, but one to one long term education time has some value, that needs to be recognized.
It tends to make an apprentice appriciate the experience.

In Leather

Archer



MadRabbit -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/2/2007 11:13:04 AM)

Also, mentoring is not all about the toys.

A lot of what I have learned from other dominants has had to do with the relationship itself, handling issues, and the structure of the dynamic.

I am not very much into play or sceneing so very little has had to actually do with S&M toys, except for a few things that have peeked my interest like flogging.

Hence, why a lot of people draw a difference between a Top and a Dominant because the skill sets are different.

More or less, I have a few people I call to talk to regarding problems and issues I've had to face and how to deal with them.



Elegant -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/2/2007 1:24:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aishchai

Thanks for the info to date everyone. I understand what was meant in "being trained by a sub"- certainly I think a sub can give good feedback, but really I think it requires observation of a Dom in action to pick up techniques and truly see the energy interplay.


Sir,

Your desire to apprentice with another is admirable. Please know though that there are many slaves and other s-types why have technique skill and top/domination experience, sometimes much more developed that your average Domly Dom.

Regards In Leather,
Elegant
~Slave to Master Archer



BootBlackBlast -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/2/2007 4:01:25 PM)

I only wish I were closer to Archer or Bounty as well. One day I'll get to learn from them in person. It is also possible to set up some sort of online training or apprenticeship long distance if two people are able to meet every few weeks or bi monthly or so to check in on progress and make sure that things are still running well.



slaveish -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/2/2007 8:34:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aishchai

Thanks for the info to date everyone. I understand what was meant in "being trained by a sub"- certainly I think a sub can give good feedback, but really I think it requires observation of a Dom in action to pick up techniques and truly see the energy interplay.


Not to argue in a great degree, but after seven years in the lifestyle, I think I have a fairly decent grasp of Dominant techniques and energy interplay. I think the first lesson for you would be to not discount the experience of a long-term submissive. Who knows - I might be able to show you a thing or two, and mindfuck the hell out of you while I do it.



Shanghaid -> RE: Apprenticeship? (5/3/2007 10:48:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: aishchai

Thanks for the info to date everyone. I understand what was meant in "being trained by a sub"- certainly I think a sub can give good feedback, but really I think it requires observation of a Dom in action to pick up techniques and truly see the energy interplay.


Agreed. Slavish was kind with her suggestion and intent but you can't learn everything from a slave. Honestly most of it is within. You know (or don't) what it is to dominate. It's just a matter of letting it flow out of you.

Read books. Gor, The Marketplace, other stuff if you can't find a mentor locally, attend munches or travel to seminars. From the books, take what you like and discard the rest. Make your experience YOURS.

Be true to your inner self.

SH'd



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