Shylahgirl
Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006 Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: MaamJay I am really amazed that your Master would just move her in straight from another relationship, especially one that was unhealthy. I wouldn't. She'd be in a place of her own, nearby maybe, seeing U/us often, getting to know U/us, observing how the D/s works between U/us, maybe dabbling in D/s and play in a gentle and progressive manner, but most importantly, getting the help she needs to heal herself. Not until she is FAR more capable of giving informed consent to D/s by having got her own act together and being able to live independently, would she be invited into My house. This is no way to start experiencing the joys of D/s when she is so screwed up. I still wouldn't recommend a one-to-one for her ... but a poly situation is even more difficult. I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed and pissed off, she is way too much work in the emotional sense. And that work definitely should not fall on you, if Master wants this, then He has to be responsible for handling it. And by doing that, He risks ignoring you and sacrificing all the good work you and He have done over the past year. He needs to take a step back and assess the impact of His likely "good intentions" on EVERYONE involved. From your own words, I agree that He sounds like a "White Knight" in that He has honourable intentions of helping her. But the way He is going about it isn't actually likely to achieve His good aims. she is likely simply to switch dependencies ... and that isn't healthy. you have had some good suggestions on how to deal with it and how to start to reprogram her conditioned responses, but I tend to feel these strategies shouldn't be tried within the context of all living together. Baby steps, that's what's needed! Good luck! Maam Jay aka violet[A] She left everything and no one had the money to put her up in a place of her own. For the first three days she was wearing my clothes because she was affraid of what would happen if she went back to get her stuff and the ex was there. Eventually we went back during a time we knew he'd be at work and gathard the stuff she knew she'd need like clothes and her credit cards. She wasn't Masters girl right when she moved in... He gave her time to ajust and see if this is what she really wanted... it was over a week before he clamed her as his in any way. As far as Master reassesing the situation, it's a little late for that. He mad a comitment to her, the same one he made to me when I was new. Just because something gets a little difficult doesn't mean he'll give up on either of us. I'd be long gone if he hadn't made that comitment to me. I don't expect or want him to tell her, "O, you're to broken for me right now. Go away untill your all better." If he said something like that to her, what would that mean for me if I have a hard scene and end up needing two or three weeks of aftercare? Cuz that basicly that we're doing with her, aftercare for two years of abuse. Shylah
_____________________________
|