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Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 12:29:32 AM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		yes, i've read lots of posting on anal sex, and tried a lot of the suggestions, and yet... is it possible that i'm just too small for this activity? the largest plug i've managed in without tears isn't even half as thick as My mate and there's blood after every time i practise... have i missed a step? please help, as this is the last surrender i can give to Him. Phoenix
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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 12:43:15 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings phoenix,

lubrication, lubrication, lubrication. foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. i think being aroused makes a very large difference, even when you're just training yourself. we went from using a small plug to having him inside me with little to no trouble with this method (and he is on the larger end of normal).

of course, it's different for everyone - but unless your dominant is especially large, it should be possible for you to have anal sex. do you have a doctor you feel comfortable talking about this with? anal sex is becoming more and more common even in the vanilla world, so it's something you might be able to broach, especially considering the trouble you've had with bleeding and tears (i'm not sure if you were speaking in the actual skin tearing sense or the crying sense). the bleeding bothers me, especially if it's particularly noticeable. have you been going slowly, or pushing yourself with this?

annabelle.


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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 12:57:33 AM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		    i'm arroused when i practise, but lube i've had trouble with. i am tearing the skin, and the lube stings in an unpleasant way when it gets in those tares...W/we move too much for me to ever build a good-doc-repure, but i've thought about asking one about it. i've thought perhaps a muscle relaxers might loosen the area enough to help, but haven't taken anything yet because i'm affraid of thinning the blood and having a mess. my Mate falls into the "average length and thick" catagory i saw on another thread. i don't think it would impossible for Him to have anal sex with someone that has mastered it, but well, i'm not there yet.
 
  do you know a lube that doesn't hurt if it got in a cut. i find having two pains in my butt a little distracting : ) hehe, one at a time.

   and i found this out the hard way,,, don't use an old tube of ora-gel as lube...            Phoenix

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 3:03:32 AM   
Raphael


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		No, I don't really think it's possible to be 'just too small' if you're an adult human. I'm in the rather thick category myself, and had a past partner almost exactly the same size you list on your profile without problem.

It is very much possible to be simply moving too fast though.

Particularly since you mention skin tears. For the hardcore, a minor skin tear showing up after a good session of anal intercourse isn't necessarily a big deal, but if I'm reading correctly your experiencing this simply trying to warm up? That shouldn't be happening.

If I were him I think I'd back off on the idea of actually introducing your tail to my penis for the time being, give you a thorough washing and then get a real nice close look at the situation. Perhaps play with it for awhile with smaller, more sensitive instruments and see where that leads...

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 3:09:55 AM   
Raphael


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		It sounds like your choice of lubricants may be (the/a big part of the) problem. Look for something called 'Liquid Silk'.

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 3:44:12 AM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		     Raphael, thanks for the suggestion and advice on lube. the ripping has occured with the plugs, His penis respects that that orifice isn't ready yet. maybe i'm rushing the matter in aries fashion...
     To A/all, what size and of what natural flexability should the anus be? this may sound weird, and i'm certainly blushing as i type...  a doctor told me my vagina was immature in size ( though repreductively functional ) at the time i got married seven years ago. this question darting around my brain was my basis for naming the thread. what is normal? and while i'm asking, what's the biggest thing that can go up there?            Phoenix

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 3:54:14 AM   
aishchai


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/23/2007
Status: offline 		Phoenix,

It sounds to me like you could have some anal fissures, especially when you describe the bleeding. This would really restrict the anal passage until the tears are properly healed. Get it checked by your doctor.

If you do have fissures, you need to change your diet- more fiber for starters. There are some suppositories that could help too, but you'd need to see a health professional about that.

In the meantime, I suggest you don't try too hard for now, and come back to it another time.

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 4:03:56 AM   
Raphael


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixinchains

Raphael, thanks for the suggestion and advice on lube. the ripping has occured with the plugs, His penis respects that that orifice isn't ready yet. maybe i'm rushing the matter in aries fashion...
To A/all, what size and of what natural flexability should the anus be? this may sound weird, and i'm certainly blushing as i type... a doctor told me my vagina was immature in size ( though repreductively functional ) at the time i got married seven years ago. this question darting around my brain was my basis for naming the thread. what is normal? and while i'm asking, what's the biggest thing that can go up there? Phoenix


Hmm I have to concur with aischai, it sounds like you *may* be dealing with a medical problem back there. You should really take it easy for a bit and see a doctor.

So far as the natural range of flexibility with a healthy anus - I don't know exactly what to say. Much more than you're reporting, for sure. The sphincter muscle and the skin both do have a limit to how far they'll stretch before tearing, of course, but that limit is flexible over time. With care they can be stretched almost indefinitely, if you have the patience to do it. If you really want to see the extreme limit, look up goatsex guy I guess.

However if there are fissures then you should not be stretching at all until you remedy that situation and are all healed up and healthy again.

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 9:59:43 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		hi ..im a sub guy and me and my mistress have been doing the anal thing now for over a year ...she has trained my ass well and we are very much into her fisting me now ..she first started out with fingers ...then moved to small butt plugs ...from there small strapons and dildos ...now i can take this 10 in strapon that really is my favorite ...besides her fist of course ..smile ...we use crisco on me and once her fist is inside of me i love the way that feels ..great way to submit to a woman i do believe ...lots of lube ....communication ...foreplay ....and trust have gotten us to this point and i will gladly bendover for her anytime she wants to take my ass .anal sex can be quite fun ..thank gawd i dont have any problems her doing me because i love sharing that with her ...unreal feeling once she is fisting me ..good luck and enjoy ..mal

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 11:11:43 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

[there's blood after every time i practise


Do you have hemorrhoids? Any irritation can cause them to bleed.

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 4:13:16 PM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		thanks A/all, after googling fissures, i've decided a trip to the doc is nessicary before i continue. i think i'll pass on the goatboy thing.
Proudsub, nope, that was my first thought as to why there was so much blood.
       thanks again- Phoenix

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 4:22:24 PM   
BigBeninLA


Posts: 38
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline 		Read "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" by Tristan Taormino; it should answer virtually any question you may have, including how to train.

Tearing and blood is normal.  Until enough scar tissue has built up in your rectum, it will continue to tear and bleed during play and intercourse, no matter how careful you may be.

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 4:48:21 PM   
Valentyne


Posts: 28
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		*fast reply*

tearing and blood is NOT normal, what a thing to say, and having scar tissue in your rectum could require surgery to repair... 

to the OP, I have been having anal sex since I was 19, and never once have I bled from it... I think personally that being relaxed mentally and physically and not "pushing" yourself into something you aren't necessarily really ready for are key.  Also, lube lube lube, like everyone says, and use your own fingers to start out with, one at a time, don't use plugs or other toys until you feel more comfortable with the concept in general.  Good luck...

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 4:57:20 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		I train many of my boys in anal, and I agree with Valentyne - tearing and blood is NOT normal... but:

If you rub one area a great deal, and it's not used to it (such as the first time a boy is milked, because the focus is on continually rubbing the small area over the prostate) or the first time you are vigorous, it may not (should not) hurt, but may result in a drop or two of blood. This is not unusual, but does mean you need to give it a few days to heal before doing anything again. This level of bleeding will NOT result in scar tissue, or infection. More blood than that, or pushing it so that it hurts, is a totally different story. I should also note that not everyone experiences that minor bleeding, but it's fine if it's TRULY minor, and should not occur every time, and only on occassion, when doing something new.

I'm glad to see you are going to get checked out - you should not have any blood at all from simply inserting a small plug.

< Message edited by LadySeraphina -- 5/2/2007 4:58:31 PM >

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 5:25:50 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigBeninLA


Tearing and blood is normal.  Until enough scar tissue has built up in your rectum, it will continue to tear and bleed during play and intercourse, no matter how careful you may be.


bullshit !!!





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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 6:51:33 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		like most others i am concerned with the bleeding and it sounds like you might have hemorrhoids.  If that is the case, then wait till that is under control.  i originally had anal sex when i was 18 and then was unable to do it until last year and i was 46 because i would tense up too much.  i agree with lots of lube.  Also make sure it is done very slowly.  As they insert slowly they have to allow time to relax.  The biggest thing to have made a difference with me was while entering me anally stimulating my clitoris.  That seemed to make the difference in allowing me to relax.

minnetar

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/2/2007 8:14:56 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		First and foremost, calm down. You're willingness to try should prove your surrender, for the time being.
 
Second, go see a doctor. Write down your questions on a piece of paper so you won't forget or get too embarrassed to ask them all.

This last little bit is personal, so I won't share all the gory details, but I have been unable to have anal intercourse with my Daddy, as of yet. We've been together for 2 years and He's been angling at that aspect for most of those two years. Right now, my body simply cannot accomodate His size. As long as I'm willing to work on it...He's a happy camper.

When you're ready to try again make sure you're using enough of the right lubrication. It can make all the difference in the world. 

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"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/3/2007 4:03:24 AM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		Phoenix's Nieve Moment of the Week
okay, before this posting, i really thought there was such a thing as an "arse cherry". like the vagina, initial sex would tare and there would be bleeding,,, and this would all cease after a series of penatrating play.
i was at first confussed by everyone's replies about bleeding, and relayed the information to my Mate,,, along with my misconception on the whole affair. He smirked, and agrees that a trip to the doc is in my near future.

Spanklette- i really like your idea on the list. i get shy when around strangers, and doctors seem to be the wroste strangers... (guess who doesn't like med play) and i mean to make my own list today. i think it was very compassionate of you to write of your-own expirience. thank you : )

  To A/all, hemroids are on the anus, right? infected blood vessles? i don't believe there is any infections, and there are no fevers, so i think the only malady is tearing. note, this is what i think, the doc will soon help in this. oh goody, time to swallow all dignity, shyness, and personal comfort... erg, i can handle this  : )  phoenix

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/3/2007 5:25:02 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixinchains
To A/all, hemroids are on the anus, right? infected blood vessles? i don't believe there is any infections, and there are no fevers, so i think the only malady is tearing. note, this is what i think, the doc will soon help in this. oh goody, time to swallow all dignity, shyness, and personal comfort... erg, i can handle this  : )  phoenix


No. They are swollen or inflamed veins, not infections. They can be outside the anus or inside. Do a search on the internet on hemorrhoids.

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RE: Him too big, her too small? - 5/3/2007 6:04:02 AM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		   Mistoferin- something more i will now ask the doc of, i did google it, and now don't disclude it as a possibility.
   i'm also going to ask if there might be a connection between this issue and my endometriosis. endo is a nasty little female disorder where tissue escapes the womb and causes evil webs of scar-tissue to form throughout the torso, and have to be removed with lasers. i was phase one ( scarring present outside of womb) when i was last treated for it with operative laprascopic surgury, eck eck eck. my mother had to get a hysterectomy at age 35 because of the disorder, and a blood vessle leading to her womb that should have been the size of a hair was reported the same size as the doc's thumb. thank Y/you,    Phoenix

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