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You may be a Redneck....


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You may be a Redneck.... - 5/6/2005 8:48:11 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
A while back there was a thread about spending too much time on-line and I posted "You may be spending too much time on line if...." Anyway, this is the inspiration. I think it's the short version, but it just popped up again in my email.

You may be a Redneck if.....

.....You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

.....The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

.....You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

.....You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

.....You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

.....Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this"

.....You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

.....Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

.....Your junior prom offered day care.

.....You think the last words of the "Star-spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

.....You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

.....The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

.....You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

.....One of your kids was born on a pool table.

.....You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

.....You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

.....You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk .
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 5/9/2005 5:22:53 AM   
Kindred2Evil


Posts: 227
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline
OMG! HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!
Say...you wouldn't have been talkin' to some of the family from 'round here woulda???


Needed the laugh this morning

_____________________________

Her touch is on the breeze that brushes your cheek, Her voice rides the thunder as the storm breaks, Her tears will clean your heartache when the rains come, Her sun will light the darkest times when you feel alone...She is the Goddess.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 5/16/2005 11:36:02 PM   
kella


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline
::choke::

umm... *eyes her family warily* ... i'm moving.

lol

(in reply to Kindred2Evil)
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RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 5/17/2005 8:27:43 AM   
MissA


Posts: 192
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kella

::choke::

umm... *eyes her family warily* ... i'm moving.

lol


Ok kella, I'm mesmerized by your video avatar, where did you get it? *Sorry to go off-topic*
~Ms. A~

(in reply to kella)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 5/17/2005 8:28:27 PM   
kella


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline
honestly? i'm not sure i remember. i recall a friend from a VANILLA forums community forwarding me the link... don't recall which friend. lol thanks for the compliment. feel free to use it, if it suits your fancy. it's not originally mine, anyway. ;)

(in reply to MissA)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 5/27/2005 10:41:59 PM   
LadyWomanji


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/9/2004
Status: offline
You might be a redneck if ...
You think "getting back to your roots" means growing the peroxide out

You might be a redneck if ...
Your family tree doesn't branch

---> Lady Womanji

(in reply to kella)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 5/28/2005 4:41:12 AM   
SirPain


Posts: 25
Joined: 3/26/2004
Status: offline
HEY! I resemble most of them ree marks! LOL

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 7/12/2005 8:24:02 PM   
Kuraria


Posts: 69
Joined: 6/5/2004
From: Indianapolis, IN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kella

::choke::

umm... *eyes her family warily* ... i'm moving.

lol



ditto lmao

_____________________________

"Choices are flexible, consequences are not."

(in reply to kella)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 7/22/2005 6:20:06 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline
You might be a Redneck if....

every used car dealership along the interstate knows you on a first name basis

you use hub caps instead of clay discs for skeet shooting

you are willing to put your wife down in the cargo hold of a tractor trailer,
but not your best coon dog

you have been to every Wal Mart within a 100 mile radius, by hitching rides in the
back of cousin's pick-up trucks

the tow truck company and the car repo guys have you on speed dial

the sheds on the back of your property have been raided by the ATF

you own more rifles than your wife has pairs of shoes

you don't name your yung'uns until they are at least 2 years old, cause NOBODY knows for sure WHO their daddy is

the local Evangelical door to door missionary congregation has declared your trailer a
"Do Not Call-Owner Answers the Front Door with a Loaded Shotgun" location

the education of your yung'uns consists of the 3 basics, hunting, fishing, and making moonshine

you are so cheap that your poor wife uses the empty toilet paper cardboard spindles
and your cigarette rolling papers to curl her hair

you never saw the floor of a roadhouse pool hall where you had not spilled blood,
yours or someone else's





(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: You may be a Redneck.... - 7/27/2005 10:19:07 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

A while back there was a thread about spending too much time on-line and I posted "You may be spending too much time on line if...." Anyway, this is the inspiration. I think it's the short version, but it just popped up again in my email.

You may be a Redneck if.....

.....You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

.....The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

.....You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

.....You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

.....You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

.....Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this"

.....You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

.....Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

.....Your junior prom offered day care.

.....You think the last words of the "Star-spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

.....You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

.....The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

.....You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

.....One of your kids was born on a pool table.

.....You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

.....You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

.....You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk .


Stone the crows, you just described more than half of the Queenslanders I know!

Disclaimer:There were no crows hurt, abused, caged or killed in the production of this post.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 10
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