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RE: Dominant Slaves? - 5/9/2005 10:09:52 AM

subinvt

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/7/2005
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quote:

That's the point that I made- it's NOT a personality split. Being a submissive personality is completely separate from having a submissive orientation.

Do people struggle sometimes to reconcile and switch between aspects of their lives? Yes, even vanillas have this problem.

Thanks EmeraldSlave2, I see your point and can definitely relate to switching aspects/personalities between a vanilla relationship and a professional life. In any good relationship, people feel less threatened to expose different facets of their personality that they wouldn’t expose in a professional environment.

subinvt

< Message edited by subinvt -- 5/9/2005 12:28:33 PM >

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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Post #: 41

RE: Dominant Slaves? - 5/9/2005 8:03:41 PM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subinvt

I wonder if it’s healthy in the long run to have this sort of split personality. To assert and dominate in the workforce yet be submissive when you get home to your master. Will one of the two personalities win out in the long run?

It is not a contest. The two facets work together for me. I do not think I could serve to my best ability if I did not assert my dominant personalty.

(in reply to subinvt)

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Post #: 42

RE: Dominant Slaves? - 5/10/2005 5:05:11 PM

DsrtMyst

Posts: 10
Joined: 5/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

A dominant personality is independant of the heart or calling to be a slave.
In this case it is a language problem because dominant is and adjetive in the case of the term domianant slave and a noun in the case of a Dominant.

I have believed this for some time. Submissive is also an adjective. And submissive does not equal passive. Adjectives can be attached to any noun and you end up with dominant slaves, submissive tops, and passive Masters. I tend to avoid using either dominant or submissive as nouns since they are personality traits and reflect a manner of interaction in a relationship, not the full identity/role/position of a person.

In my household the Master is the authority and shoulders the responsibility. The slave surrenders to that authority and serves the Master and the household. Neither position requires a person to be dominant. Neither position requires a person to be submissive.

slaveDaddy is a strong-willed, dominant slave. I am a strong, passive Master with a dominant streak that comes when I feel it is needed and not in response to manipulative bottoms nor to external opinions that a Master should always "act dominant." I submit to my family, my employer, my cats, the Universe, and quite often to the needs of my relationship. My slave has surrendered (not submitted) his body, mind, heart, and life to my authority and guidance. There are times when he takes a dominant position in our sexual activities and I appear more submissive, but neither of us forgets for an instant who has the authority and who serves. There are times when I decide I want to dominate him into submitting in some area and those can be very transformative (and hot!), but they in no way define our relationship our even our core personalities.

(in reply to Archer)

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Post #: 43

RE: Dominant Slaves? - 5/16/2005 10:40:17 AM

SirSTRYKER

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/15/2004
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I have encountered many subs both r/l and online who misthink a smart mouth is a way to gain attention. Like a misbehaving child, they will attempt to become the Director instead of the directed. In truth, it would appear to some that this one is becoming "dominant". As for Myself, on line when I encounter subs such as this, I usually dismiss them. In real life, I usually ignore them with a stare of disgust. When I want resistance, I'll push against a brick wall. When I want submission, I seek it. It IS out there both on line and in r/l. There are ample of My Brothers and Sisters who can and so aptly do handle the "dominant slaves", as for Me, they are like virgins, I avoid them like I would a wounded moma bear in the wild.

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B.O.H.I.C.A. (bend over here it comes again.)

(in reply to darkinshadows)

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Post #: 44

RE: Dominant Slaves? - 5/16/2005 10:47:01 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSTRYKER

I have encountered many subs both r/l and online who misthink a smart mouth is a way to gain attention. Like a misbehaving child, they will attempt to become the Director instead of the directed. In truth, it would appear to some that this one is becoming "dominant".

I think both you and them are confusing bratty/inappropriate social behavior with "dominance."

After all, how many actual dominants out there seem to think that being an asshole and a bully is the real way to be dominant?

I have a very dominant personality, and while I adore sarcasm and wit, I feel I use it appropriately like anyone should.

(in reply to SirSTRYKER)

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Post #: 45

RE: Dominant Slaves? - 5/16/2005 12:53:28 PM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
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i'm definately not a dominant slave, however, i have met many slaves/subs that are very dominant in nature. i can be assertive when need be but i am quite humble and passive in general, i have never been much of a leader and feel quite uncomfortable in that role.

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to Elegant)

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Post #: 46

RE: Dominant Slaves? - 5/16/2005 8:45:16 PM

SirSTRYKER

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/15/2004
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quote:

I think both you and them are confusing bratty/inappropriate social behavior with "dominance."

when a sub/slave tries to dominate Me it is both bratty AND inappropriate and as stated...avoided! To E/each T/their own but that's not My cup of tea.

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(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

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Post #: 47

RE: Dominant Slaves? - 5/16/2005 8:53:33 PM

junecleaver

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Joined: 4/6/2005
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I consider myself one. I am always the person in charge and it's very easy for me to give out orders in a work setting. My expectations especially for myself are dangerously high. I am a perfectionist and "doing my best" usually involves me working until I collapse.

Of course in a D/s relationship I am usually(hopefully) the opposite. I like my partner to set expectations for me. It gives me a realistic, healthy focus.

(in reply to Elegant)

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Post #: 48