MaamJay
Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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Hi enna, I have recently moved to Bundaberg, maybe not too far from you? Don't know of any munches in this area as yet, though I am sure there are some in Bris. However, I agree with the comments here based on the munches I attended (and helped to host) in Perth. Generally munches are social meetings in restaurants or pubs, you can eat/drink as much or as little as you like. Fetish wear is usually NOT desirable, the idea is not to draw attention to the group and also not to exclude anyone who may not have such gear. Basic black is always a good fallback! From the outside it looks like a bunch of good friends having dinner together and chatting and laughing! A greeter may well be organised, or if you email the organiser they will keep an eye out for you and introduce you around. Perhaps the only difference from a vanilla gathering is to be careful about asking too many personal questions eg about where someone lives, works etc as people are a bit more guarded about that information for fear of being outed. Don't be too free with that information about yourself either. For example I would say I live "near Bundaberg" but I wouldn't be drawn in to giving more specific information until I felt confident in the person.
We used to also belong to a discussion group that met once a month in the upstairs room in a pub. Again, standard clothes, but a good opportunity to talk with others and discuss particular topics. Being considerate of hotel staff, toys stayed at home, so if we wanted to do a show and tell, we changed the venue to someone's home.
Play parties are entirely different, as someone else suggested, good play groups check out people first and don't issue invitations lightly. In the group I was with, you had to attend at least one munch and talk to some of the established members of the group before being allowed on the email list. Following some postings to the list, which further showed your intentions were genuine, you might be invited to a party. The venue address was NEVER posted on the net, only ever emailed to specific people. This was for everyone's security! you would be sent the information regarding the party and protocols before attending. The only alternative was to be brought by established members who would take responsibility for you and your behaviour. We did, if a sub requested it, offer a House Collar of protection, which meant that no Dom could play with that sub without the negotiations being made with one of the hosts or Dungeon Monitors present, and there to supervise the scene. New subs (and Doms for that matter!) didn't have to play at all, they could just observe within the party protocols, and socialise in the social areas if they wanted. It was a good way for a new person to experience something in a safe and monitored setting. The House Collar lasted only for that night, though if the sub was amenable to giving Us their number, We used to phone them the next day to make sure they were OK and offer aftercare, especially if they'd dropped. While recognising that was primarily the responsibility of the Dom who had done the playing, for example a fem sub might not be comfortable giving her number to a single male Dominant, whereas she felt OK with Us as a couple.
I would urge you to be appropriately cautious and ask questions - hopefully the information in these replies will give you some ideas of what questions to ask - but not be inappropriately fearful. Munches are a great way of meeting people and helping you feel a bit less "odd"! Like all groups there will be some you like and some you don't, but overall I found the benefits far outweighed the negatives.
Good luck!
Maam Jay
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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)
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