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BitaTruble -> RE: This is very important to new users (10/2/2007 10:49:33 PM)
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ORIGINAL: stpaulslaveuser
Old fashioned values Vs being a submissive.
Ok, finding a guy, and doing the kind of sex HE likes doing so long as your in the mood, doesn't make you a submissive or even kinky.
I agree with you on the submissive part, but disagree on being kinky because that's dependent on what 'kind' of sex he likes. Being kinky doesn't have anything to do with being submissive or dominant and you can have one without the other.
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It makes you an old fashioned wife/breeding cow like you your boring grandma.
That's just plain insulting to both wives and grandmothers. Poor choice of words on your part and, while I haven't read the rest of the thread, my guess would be this won't go over very well. If you want people to hear you, you have to speak the same language and do so without insulting the very people to whom you are speaking.
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At the core of the idea you are basically saying "I am yours to do to whatever you wish, whenever you wish, or nothing at all, with no regard to my opinion of weather or not I like it."
There are going to be any number of dominants who find the opinions of their partners to be significant and any number of submissives who will seek out such a dominant. BDSM isn't about cookie cutter submission or domination. If this works for you, great, but it isn't a universal truth.
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I don't think you have to automatically submit. There can and sometimes is a power struggle. The loser of this struggle usually submits.
And sometimes there is no struggle at all. Completely personal to the parties within a given relationship.
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If you like to be in situations where you have no control, but don't want to freely give it ever. That's not submission.
It most certainly can be. Submission doesn't have to be given to be valid. It can be taken by someone strong enough to do so and the parties involved can be very fulfilled by such. Again, it's specific to a given relationship and how it works and not a universal truth.
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It's an entirely different fetish, where as you become bound to fulfill your captors wishes either through being bound, or the inability to fight back as a result of pain, or fear. This is called BDSM.
Well, you're misusing the word fetish but there are other things that can take away ones ability to fight back that have nothing to do with pain or fear.. like, surrender, desire and a myriad of other motivations.
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Learn the damn difference.
I think you'd be wise to heed your own advice.
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Liking rough sex doesn't automatically make you submissive.
I agree.
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It doesn't make for good BDSM either.
With this I disagree. Liking rough sex can make for some great BDSM.
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Neither does getting it up the ass.
Or sucking cock,
or liking it when some one spanks you. These are only fetishes.
None of those are fetishes. Do you know what the word means? Getting it in the ass, sucking cock and liking spanking are all personal preferences, not fetishes.
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You ALL will have much more fun at these things of you know the basic differences.
Knowing or not knowing what something is labeled doesn't seem to me that it would be a determiner of one's fun factor.
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And you won't find yourselves in situations where you don't want to be.
Common sense works even better than being up on the terminology even when you do get it right.
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Yes, being a sub means you usually have more than one fetish.
I have no idea where you got that idea. A fetish is something that is typically rare for a person to have and I know very few submissives that have any much less more than one. I don't personally have any fetishes, but I do have some preferences for things I like.. and even though I like them, I can do without them and still have a very satisfying sex life.
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Yes you can be into BDSM and be a sub at the same time. Yes All of these things can and do mix.
I agree again. That's twice in one post!
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Everyone thinks it's easy being a DOM.
I don't know everyone, so can't speak to that issue. And I know for a fact that you don't know everyone, so you can't speak to that issue either. 'Nuff said.
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I am here to say it's NOT! It's the lead role in role playing or real life and it's very hard!
Well, hopefully, as you learn and grow, you won't find it so difficult to just be yourself.
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Every time you find someone new you have to find out what they need, because almost none of them know what they want, or even like. They just think they do.
What's the one thing all those people have in common? You. You ever stop and think that maybe you're not attracting the sort of people you'd like to attract because of something that you're doing that draws in the clueless who only 'think' they know what they want?
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Also "Slaves" are something entirely different. A slave is someone who embraces the idea of ownership.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
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Someone who thinks of themselves as an object.
Not even close. In my experience that is very rare although plenty do enjoy objectification on occasion.. but then, so do submissives.
[quoteEither through fear, brainwashing, or who just thinks that way.
You're so far off base with the premise for this sentence that it can't be addressed.
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A slaves purpose is to reflect the fetishes of whoever claims ownership.
I'm a slave and Master has no fetishes, so I'd have to say that my purpose is something else entirely. That's 'your' gig, not everyone's.
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I think wearing a collar reflects this kind of scenario far more than someone just wanting to be handcuffed and spanked by their new lover so they can call themselves kinky or submissive.
My views on a collar are vastly different and I doubt we'd ever be able to have a meeting of the minds giving your particular ideologies of BDSM, D/s and grandmothers.
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Don't come to a kinky website and post a profile and claim you know what your doing unless you do.
Don't come to a kinky website telling other people how to post a profile unless you own them.
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You will just look stupid.
No comment.
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If all you want 9 out of 10 times is to get a sperm reload in your kid popper. And then be mildly kinky the other 1 out of 10 times you get naked in the dark. Go back an post your profile on yahoo personals or friendfinder or something and leave the rest of us harmless professional perverts alone.
I'm not the expert on those sites which you appear to be as I've never posted to either one of them so can't speak on that issue.
Celeste
edited to add:: by the way - your subject title sucks.. this isn't important to new users at all. Most One True Way Bible Stories, aren't.
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