RE: The best way to catch Her eye?

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RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 11:15:41 AM

SuspendedInGaffa

Posts: 188
Joined: 8/17/2007
From: Wales, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rob425

Ummm you have an empty profile!!!!! Empty profiles shows your personal effort which i assume is lacking.

If a person that takes the time to fully fill out their profile and you contact them with an empty profile what does that say about your work effort. You aren't serious and you are lazy

He must've deleted it, Rob. I looked earlier and there was plenty there, but it wasn't so much a profile as an angry tirade. Hopefully he's busy composing a more positive one, but I suspect he's already pissed on his chips with a lot of the Dommes here.

_____________________________

I wormed my way into the heart of the crowd
I was shocked to find what was allowed

(in reply to rob425)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 11:48:39 AM

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

I tried to do a rant on this and it got deleted. I will say it here.
The way to attract anyone at anytime is to be sincere and polite.
Humor helps, but obsene and out of the box comments doesn't get us anywhere in life.
I have Domme friends on this site, and I approached most all of them in a very polite manner, and they returned the same to me. It is all about being polite and sincere. I get a lot of rude and obnixious ones contacting me, and now I just send stupid emotions back in the emails. If they are nice, I will try and help them.
The main problem I have is that no one reads my profile and responds looking when the profile is clear as to what it says.

Good luck and Regards.

MissSCD

(in reply to sodsta)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 12:05:48 PM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

Hi Kye,

Many others have given good advice on how to attract here on collarme, what I want to add is get out there to events, there is a vibrant scene in London and the UK. real life events are a great way of meeting people.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to sodsta)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 12:24:31 PM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Your profile is lovely, Kye---I think that if you actually get out to events and meet folks in real time, you will be pleasantly surprised. And yes, I have to agree with that cranky earlier poster, it does indeed help to be young and handsome! Bonus for you, then. :)

Here in the states we see stories in Skin Two and such about the glam scene in the UK, so perhaps you can get out there and tell us stories about what we're missing. I will be suitably envious.

---and that cranky guy and his "narcissistic" comment.........are we not entitled to be self centered in our own profiles? guess not!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Oumae)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 12:33:10 PM

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
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Thanks, Rob. :)

(in reply to rob425)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 12:37:33 PM

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

Thank you. I did a bit of editing at the suggestion of a couple of the Ladies on here who were very helpful. :)

And thank you for the advice, too. It's making me feel a lot more at ease about contacting people.

(in reply to MaamJay)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 12:41:53 PM

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
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Thank you very much, MissSCD. :D

(in reply to MissSCD)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 12:47:00 PM

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
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Thanks, Oumae (lovely name, by the way. Where is it from?)

I've been to a couple of clubs, generally with a few friends, since the thought of going alone intimidates me a little at this stage. I've had great fun there, and I went to my first munch in London a couple of months ago. I'm hoping to try and get out there a bit more, and get more involved in the London Scene, so hopefully I'll meet some new people and make new friends, soon. :D

(in reply to Oumae)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 12:53:59 PM

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

I've just started dipping my toes into the Scene here in London. I've had very positive experiences, so far, and I'm hoping to be able to attend more events. There is a really fun cafe not too far from me, called Coffee, Cake and Kink, that holds a fetish night every Friday evening. I'm going to attempt to make that a regular thing. :D

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 1:10:31 PM

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Kye use the forum more, its suprising how many messages i get about something i have posted.

Forum posting definitely results in lots of perving, that's for sure. In my experience, somewhat higher quality and more [intellectually at least] compatible perving, too!

As for how to catch someone's eye... I've always found a spoon to be useful... errr... nevermind that.

Basically, talking to your friend should be useful. Listen to all of those things that drive her batshit, and quite simply, don't do them. That is a HUGE bonus, trust me. Someone can write to me, and it really isn't all that spectacular, but it doesn't make me want to destroy inanimate objects either, so it's a success!

Things not to do (incomplete list):
One liners
Laundry list of kinks
Form letters
Generic, impersonal statements ("I liked what you had to say" without qualifying statements commenting on what they said that you liked, for example)
Being too forward (asking for or providing personal info in the first few messages, trying to negotiate a scene or dynamic prior to her expressing an interest in such)
Focusing on kink, on activities, toys or fetishes, as opposed to her as a person
DO NOT share photos of anatomy unless requested

So anyway, by at least not doing the above, you have a pretty good start.

Good things to do:
Read her profile, completely
Make specific comments about things she's said to start conversation
Be polite (duh)
Have a well written profile of your own that shows what makes you you and therefore unique, and what makes you interesting to know.
Show your positive traits without boasting. Basically, show, you shouldn't need to tell.
Have a clear vanilla (or at least not x rated) photo including your face available

In theory, you have kink in common, and maybe even some kinks in common or else a) you wouldn't be here and b) you probably wouldn't be talking. You should, however, hopefully have more in common than only kink. I can't stress this enough. Kinky people are still people. Having an interest, and actually making an effort to get to know someone as a person is so incredibly valuable. If I can't have an average, oridinary, run of the mill coffee-house-safe conversation with someone, I have no interest in talking kink with 'em. On the other hand, if I can, though I really dislike cyber-wanking, I'm perfectly happy talking abot some pretty hot topics (as cooly as possible, of course

).

IMO, YMMV and all that.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Politesub53)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 5:13:07 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

Thanks, Rob. :)

No problem I am full of people that have no basis to what they are saying personally

I think this thread is going to make me update/edit my profile soon...

Chatting in the forums though has generally gotten me noticed by some domme's and what I am finding is the ones that frequently post in the message boards are serious in the lifestyle...not the average 18yo girl who loves financial dominantion as her key fetish

< Message edited by rob425 -- 10/8/2007 5:56:32 PM >

(in reply to sodsta)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 6:43:37 PM

Posts: 74
Joined: 10/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rob425

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

A lot of domme profiles appear to be negative and hostile towards male subs. But I think men have more of a right to complain than women as men have bigger problems than women in this type of scene or in vanilla dating in general. Isn't it funny how its always more acceptable for a woman to complain than it is for a man when men obviously face the bigger problem of not getting replies or attention? Some men may be to blame but I really blame the women in here a lot of the time by their expectations to begin with. A male is seen as a pathetic whiner for complaining about getting no attention while its acceptable for a woman to complain about getting too much attention. What should be classed as the most pathetic?

Oh well I wont say anymore, the sisterhood bigotry wont accept this truth.

Ummm you have an empty profile!!!!! Empty profiles shows your personal effort which i assume is lacking.

If a person that takes the time to fully fill out their profile and you contact them with an empty profile what does that say about your work effort. You aren't serious and you are lazy

It's because the collarme police deleted what was said in my profile. Damn, so much for freedom of speech. When I am in the mood I will redo my profile just to piss everyone off :-)

(in reply to rob425)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 9:16:18 PM

e01n

Posts: 1472
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iammachine
Listen to all of those things that drive her batshit, and quite simply, don't do them. That is a HUGE bonus, trust me. Someone can write to me, and it really isn't all that spectacular, but it doesn't make me want to destroy inanimate objects either, so it's a success!

Corollary to the above - if she tells you that she never wants to be thought of in a specific way, DON'T DO IT! Dear G-d, man - Don't Do It!!!!

But seriously, Ms. Machine has yet another chapter in her tutorial on online dating written with that one...

(in reply to iammachine)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 9:31:23 PM

Posts: 83
Joined: 4/5/2007
Status: offline

Well, first off, its not REAL hard to get noticed on collar me because alot of guys are just dumb, or do foolish things. I dont assume to know the minds of women, but I doubt the barrage of sexually explicit, private, and downright WRONG questions/images/suggestions will score you any points.

One of the things for me is that I have an honor system of sorts. That is, I have a set of rules I follow while dealing with Dommes on Collar Me.

1. Try to be as honest as possible.
2. be polite. (be a gentleman)
3. Dont offer/ask any private information until you are much more comfortable with who you are speaking with.
4. Act like you would on a first date with a woman you have been trying to date for awhile.

(in reply to e01n)

RE: The best way to catch Her eye? - 10/8/2007 9:53:27 PM

Posts: 158
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline

I'm not quite sure where the chip on your shoulder came from bottomboy and it's a shame, you are not bad looking , live in a great country and have endless potential to be anything you want to be. Blaming others for you not reaching that potential is a cop out. Stop it. Be the best you can be. Complaining is a waste of energy, do something powerful with that energy for yourself instead. I wish you a wonderful life.

Kye?.. I think you've been given some great pointers.. good luck with that darl :)

regards

Allie

edited for typo and clarity.

< Message edited by SaintAllie -- 10/8/2007 10:42:54 PM >

_____________________________

........"I am determined to press onward through my fears. When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." ---Audre Lorde

Keep NZ nuclear free..

(in reply to bottomboy81)

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