RE: "i can't go through with it..."

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RE: "i can't go through with it..." - 3/8/2008 12:16:33 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
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I've been afraid of not finding others like me. I've been afraid of being rebuked for my age, my disposition, my looks. I have never been afraid of jumping into it. In fact, when I was a kid and first learning about what my feelings and wants really were, I was most afraid of not being able to join in, that I'd be barred from the club so to speak. Never an internal fear of doing it.

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RE: "i can't go through with it..." - 3/8/2008 12:43:38 PM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline

First post, here goes....

I am very new to this, the newest newbie there can be... I am being very clear that I'm NOT yet ready to meet (never even gone to a munch, any kind of fetish shop, anything at all) most replies to my profile (after deleting the usual idiots!) say they are fine to not meet, then after a few messages demand it!

I'm lacking enough self-confidence, mainly in my looks, to meet anyone. The idea that someone would see me and run terrifies me! But thats the same in vanilla encounters too, probably why I'm single.....

I should say I am very upfront on my looks before chatting with anyone seriously.

All I'm saying is that in reply to the OP sometimes people could back out cos of nervous fear of how they will be judged. Or maybe its just me!

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RE: "i can't go through with it..." - 3/8/2008 10:44:23 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

When one comes out to another as a Dom, Domme, sub or slave, it is risky. This type of behavior is not the norm in our society. One opens oneself to the possibility of rejection, either because of what one is, or what one looks like. Body issues can be a worry as well.

There is no easy answer, except to understand that nothing is gained without risk.

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RE: "i can't go through with it..." - 3/8/2008 10:54:48 PM

twistedkytten

Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline

FR-
Absolutely, I was terrified, more than I think I have ever been... perhaps it was my curiosity to more than "know" that pushed me... There is a strength I believe in those that go beyond the fear.. to live

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RE: "i can't go through with it..." - 3/8/2008 11:02:38 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Yes, it's very annoying when One spends one's time carefully vetting someone online, and they chicken out at the very last minute. No foul called if they call before hand and say they're just too nervous or it's too intense for them, and we take it even slower.
But because the vetting is so careful, they're certainly for real when we meet, and usually within a fortnight they're cheerfully licking and suckling, and my last one, manacling themselves, putting on their blindfolds and bending over.

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RE: "i can't go through with it..." - 3/9/2008 3:10:38 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

How to overcome get out from behind the computer and meet ppl in real life. It amazes me how many ppl post this similar story. Everybody want the "easy way" sit behind a puter and chat. You can tell more about a person in a hour conversation than you can in 20 long winded emails and countless hours of chat.

BadOne

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RE: "i can't go through with it..." - 3/12/2008 4:28:50 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

when i first discovered that i was interested in BDSM i was just back from a deployment and i am married. i was a bit nervous on how to have a marriage and be into BDSM as well. after i explained it to my wife she understood and said no vaginal sex and now I'm married and collared as well. i guess that i went over in my head till i had to ask my wife for permission to play, that was probably the worst moment waiting for her to respond, but i was honest with myself and straight forward with my wife so it all worked out in the end.
happily collared by LadyPact

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Post #: 47