quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There is this great advantage to living in the South.  People don't tend to raise a brow when a submissive male does the very same things that a Southern Gentleman might do.  I'm very much hoping that this won't become a problem for Me when I move back west.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaiel


However, things are of course "toned down" a bit when interacting with 'vanilla types'... but nothing changes between U/us. he always walks on My right, he always takes care of any needs I have when out and about and is always serving Me.

Of course I won't "randomly slap him' at Christmas dinner if he does something I don't approve. But, I sure do make a mental note to handle it as soon as W/we get home!

In all my relationships, no matter if there was a D/s factor involved or not, the guy would walk on the side of the street (not the right side but actually the side where the traffic was old fashioned "protection"), took care of my needs and wants and tried to make my life pleasant, I wouldn't consider that submissive behaviour at all, I consider that being a gentleman and I expect nothing less from a person I decide to be with.

Same with not approving with some actions, I would not have it "out" in front of an audience, I rather wait until we are at home, address and handle it there as I would consider it impolite and rude to involve others in something so private, no matter if it is D/s or just a domestic disagreement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

Sorry...I read repeatedly about people having "vanilla sides" which refers to mood swings, attitudes, PMS, and various other people stuff.

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 5/17/2009 7:06:42 AM >

(in reply to BoiJen)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

Sorry...I read repeatedly about people having "vanilla sides" which refers to mood swings, attitudes, PMS, and various other people stuff.

reply:
as A Domme I am always one..whether I have mood swings..attitudes..weed the garden,,pick out towels at IKEA..
have PMS..feed my grandson...write a letter
I AM A PERSON...'people" all of the time..a dominant person..
 
I don't weed my garden vanilla..cook vanilla...
because it is ME
doing it..
"VANILLA side" is a label for MISCONCEPTIONS..
usually..for ppl who may think I feed my grandson in a DOMME outfit...or weed the garden and whip the shit of the weeds..
THOSE are actions..and appearance..

FOR those who have play partners/PT relationships ..there may be more of seperation...in ACTIONS>..vanilla..public..BDSM private..


GQ
apologies folks..still having quote troubles

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 5/17/2009 7:15:45 AM >

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There is this great advantage to living in the South.  People don't tend to raise a brow when a submissive male does the very same things that a Southern Gentleman might do.  I'm very much hoping that this won't become a problem for Me when I move back west.

What a lot of people regard as submissive behaviour is often just good old fashioned manners, a bit like I'm perfectly capable of opening my own doors or a bottle of wine, but it is something I expect a guy to do. I can overlook quite a few things, but rudeness or lack of manners is something I find quite horrible. And nope, I am not living in an ivory tower, I work and my (mostly male) co-workers open doors. What actually makes more of a difference to me is not so much if he does open the door for me, it's if he opens the door for the old lady or the woman with the kid, burdened down by shopping - that shows integrity because he's not "putting it on" because he knows I'm a sucker for manners, it shows what kind of person he is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There is this great advantage to living in the South.  People don't tend to raise a brow when a submissive male does the very same things that a Southern Gentleman might do.  I'm very much hoping that this won't become a problem for Me when I move back west.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There is this great advantage to living in the South.  People don't tend to raise a brow when a submissive male does the very same things that a Southern Gentleman might do.  I'm very much hoping that this won't become a problem for Me when I move back west.

What a lot of people regard as submissive behaviour is often just good old fashioned manners, a bit like I'm perfectly capable of opening my own doors or a bottle of wine, but it is something I expect a guy to do. I can overlook quite a few things, but rudeness or lack of manners is something I find quite horrible. And nope, I am not living in an ivory tower, I work and my (mostly male) co-workers open doors. What actually makes more of a difference to me is not so much if he does open the door for me, it's if he opens the door for the old lady or the woman with the kid, burdened down by shopping - that shows integrity because he's not "putting it on" because he knows I'm a sucker for manners, it shows what kind of person he is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

This is why I love you, jen.  Great comments.  Check out my latest blog posts.  I had to vent some stuff about my beloved Ms. Mlicious.  I supplied her with a five man crew to do a shitload of work at her house.  And she could not have been more vanilla and buddy-ish.  I was appalled.  You would've though we were her brothers or something.  That is a good way to kill the golden goose, lemme tell ya.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Not an ungrateful bitch, no.  But ont one of the guys either.  There is an obvious difference from a lady accepting service and a buddy asking for a favor.  And I guarantee she knows exactly what I mean.  You act like one of the guys, and the chances of getting that slave chain gang to come back are pretty slim.   

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Let me clarify a bit.  All the guys there had some submissive connection to the lady.  We have all served her in one way or another.  She is considering putting a collar and/or chastity device on two of the men besides me.  One of the others is brand new, but she is giving thought to adding him to her little stable.  And the lady was fully aware that all of the men present were doing some HARD labor for her because she is a dominant woman, and we are submissive men.  I think even Ms. Mlicious would admit that she threw cold water on the situation, although she might not be able to pin down exactly why.  She could have/should have relaxed all day and enjoyed herself and the fact that she was getting lots of free labor from five worshipful men.  Instead, she acted like we were her nephews or something.  She practically had to be dragged away from doing (unnecessary) grunt work.  Even then, she still did some of it.

Ms. AAkasha, I am not suggesting that she owed us "playtime" or that she had to perform for us.  But if a lady expects men to act like slaves, she had darn well better act like a Mistress.  If not, she is not going to get that kind of work done for free.  Everything has a price.  Slave service included.  If you want to be served, you have to behave like a queen.  If you want to act like a washerwoman, we will let you.  But you will be doing it by yourself.