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RE: Master vs. Dom - 2/15/2006 4:33:44 PM

Sirandlittle1

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This holds for me, yet my Dom has the opinion that master is TPE.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

That's my definition too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

A Dom is an individual with a dominant personality. A Master is a Dom with property.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 2/27/2006 2:31:17 PM

MasterDaddy123

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A Dom is the dominent one in any type of relationship.

A Master owns his slave. The slave is His property.

(in reply to angelic)

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 2/27/2006 9:45:02 PM

classykindasassy

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I attended the South Plains Leatherfest/Master/slave Weekend in Dallas, as a sub interested in M/s dynamic and getting a true grip on the differences.

I feel I got my questions answered, and new ones inspired as well. I think A difference is that while Doms do do 24/7 power exchange, not all do, and it would seem to be the moniker most adopted, and properly used , by those who do not wish the responsibility of a piece of property, requiring complete care and management, tutelage and direction. However those that are old guard or Leather family Masters DO own their slaves as power exchanged property 24/7.

AN INTERESTING DISTINCTION I DISCOVERED:

As we all know, Masters and slaves in the non-sexual and strictly functional sense have been around since time immemorial, and sex has not necessarily been a part of slave ownership. I discovered that there are M/s relationships where persons get together who are not even of compatible interest sexually (ex:a gay leather Master served long-term by a femme dyke slave) strictly for the spirit-to-spirit connection. I found this idea terribly interesting and it made me very curious to know more about the dynamic.

I also saw how difficult a time many of us have in separating the commonly-held concept of M/s from sex. Given that our fetish world is so sexually charged, sex tends to obscure certain aspects of the M/s and D/s dynamic. And, so does romance for the same reasons.

It is truly fascinating to take apart the layers of how we think of relationships and then reconsider what really works for us as individuals, what we really want, and who might best provide that. I'm having a good time taking a new look at the entire world of WIITWD.

And I will never so casually use the honorific "Master" again.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 2/28/2006 4:52:23 PM

sineight

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the term Dom just means the dominant of the relationship. a master implies that they have a slave.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 2/28/2006 8:13:33 PM

Arpig

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Guage pretty much has it...a master is a Dom who has found somebody who calls him master.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 3/1/2006 5:38:52 PM

BearNFirelight

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I'm sure this opinion is already stated by others here, but I see it this way...

Dom is the name for the nature of the person. I for instance am a Dominant Man. This is my core nature and I thrive in a Dominant submissive dynamic.

Master is a title. It can represent a simple title like Sir, or it can represent a role occupied by the Dominant.

For instance, I am a Dominant, but I practice a Master/slave level of Dominance and submission. And I am slave 'X''s Master. To all others I would be called a Dominant, to that slave, I am 'her' Master.

If I am introduced as Master BigBear, I correct the person introducing me by saying, I am BigBear to all, I am my slave's Master. The fact that I am a Dominant is self explainitory and not something I am insecure about to the point of needing to remind people of my title or role. That I practice M/s versus D/s is my lifestyle.

Titles are easily confused and abused. Every Dominant can be called Master, only those that are actively practicing a Master/slave dynamic are a slave's Master....and it is only the one(s) wearing the collar that they Master. Beyond that it is simply a title that is commonly used in this lifestyle.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 3/3/2006 7:43:35 PM

Zensee

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You can be a ship's Master without being its owner and you can be a submissive's Master and not claim possession. But if you are a slave Owner you had better be a Master too.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 3/6/2006 1:10:01 PM

girlToServeYou

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quote:

... you will get alot of different answers... some will be very similiar... but even they will be alittle different.

Damn, you're cute. Oh yeah...and what you said made a lot of sense too. No, really....I read it all. heh....Im diggin this message board stuff.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 3/7/2006 5:22:53 AM

PenelopePitstop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

1: One who has Mastered something such as a craft ot trade (Master Builder, Master Baker or perhaps Master Calligrapher). This is ususlly awarded by a Trade/professional Organization or Guild.

I hold this to be true, as I see Mastery as a skill but in this context over a submissive. To master someone you need to know them inside out, and whatever challenges come up, a Master will cope with them successfully (and now we have to define what success is but it depends on the person). It implies a length of time and a depth of knowledge, whereas Dominant implies a tendency or trait. That's my take on it anyway.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 3/7/2006 10:27:49 AM

FLdsCpl4Cpl

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It has always been my belief that the term "Master" is an individual with a dominant character that conquers the understanding of something in particular. Yet a Master as per my upbringing within the lifestyle is an individual who not only owns property, yet also knows and masters the manner in which his property is utilized. With Honor, Respect and Care. "Nobody can master themselves or others totally", yet all strive to attain the ultimate goal on our paths.

Whether I own property or not, I could never look at myself as being a Master unless I am certain that I am treating and utilizing my/a property in the proper manner and understanding and exercise the meaning of the responsibilities that come with with such property. my/a I have only expressed as I have always been taught that once a dominant accepts the honor of a submissive serving him or her (be it long term or in a session), then he/she has also accepted the responsibility of the well being of such submissive.

A Master is not defined through the ownership of his property, but through his property. It is the slave that reflects the Master, therefore is it not the slave that defines whether a dominant is or is not a Master? Maybe not in words, yet in actions. A Master is, in my to my belief, not self proclaimed or through the ownership of property, yet earns his title through others, be them his property(ies) or those who live and walk the same path.

OK, I think I am floating away into jabber, or at least I sense that I am. But I can hope that what I have expressed has maybe helped in ways and not offended anyone present.

(in reply to HouseofBear)

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 3/10/2006 10:12:57 AM

AgentJF

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I view my self as a Master because aftr 20 years experience I have Mastered aspects of being a Dominant. Although it is always a work in progress.

Also lucky enough to have a slave that calls me Master.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 3/10/2006 4:55:59 PM

Padriag

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This to no one in particular

Something interesting I've observed in this thread is there seems to be a common opinion among many that "Master" or "Mistress" should be an earned title. It suggests that people view them as having special meaning, or want them to have special meaning and somehow held to a higher standard. The dichotomy being that there is no one to create such a standard... to judge when someone has sufficiently "mastered" being a dominant to deserve the title. Others suggest that it applies to anyone with a slave... but what happens if they dismiss, release or otherwise part with theit slave... do they lose the title? If its an earned title by demonstrating "mastery" of "slavecraft" who judges what degree of "mastery" is sufficient? Is there an objective standard for it?

I know among some groups and organizations they do have such standards, but they aren't universally recognized. Which means the title is only good within that group. Where does this leave people who belong to no such organization?

What good is it as a title? What I mean is, does it really matter. In most cases titles are about being given recognition by a larger community, so if we treat it as a title that must be earned... aren't we really saying we want people to treat those who possess the title of Master or Mistress with greater respect?

If we don't treat it as a title, then what is it? An orientation? A synonym for Dominant?

Just points to ponder.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 3/12/2006 6:08:29 AM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Many state that the first person to Master is oneself... does this make them Master or Dom?

I personally feel that one never completely Master oneself or another.... But one can be on a continuous journey of moving towards that utopian ideal!

Excellent point.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 4/13/2006 8:59:20 PM

LoganStrange

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First I will say, we all have our own ideals...no one is truely wrong on this.
that being said, heres my definitions...

A Dom dominates
A Master accepts submission.
anyone can be a Master in D/s if one choose to serve them, even if they are not a 40 year vet in bdsm. my opinion.

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 4/13/2006 9:41:53 PM

cillydom

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ask his submissive how she feels about him and you'll have your answer

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 4/13/2006 11:48:45 PM

CERCKL

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The post was titled Master vs. Dom...I thought it was one of those wrestling things my kid is always watching...ooops.

C

still can't type :-(

< Message edited by CERCKL -- 4/13/2006 11:49:15 PM >

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 4/14/2006 12:03:06 AM

FirmhandKY

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A peek behind my outer face:

In my head, I accept no ones' definition or title as "Master", "Dom" "dominant" or any other name or title they give themselves, or that anyone else gives them.

Doesn't mean I didn't like some of the posters' comments here, but I, in my heart, accept no one else, or no organization's classification as accurate.

Sure, in a social atmosphere, I'm tactful and will give due honors to anyone who is ascribe as any of those things. Until I come to the conclusion they are not. I won't make a stink out of my conclusion because as RAH said, delusions sometimes serve a useful purpose.

But the OP (angelic) asked:

What is the difference between a Master and a Dom, is there a difference? i have my own opinions about this, but am curious as to what Oothers think.

My opinion is that only thing that matters to me is - does the person meet my criteria for respect?

My first criteria is does he know, and master himself? The second is - does he choose his actions based on a clear philosophy and belief system? If he does, then he can call himself what he wishes, and I'll respect that. If those things are out of sync, he can call himself what ever he wants, but I'll just snigger in my head at him when he postures and prances.

There is certainly a social lubrication and hierarchical rationale for using those titles, but they are a distinction without merit in my own inner mind. For in the end, I am who I am, and you are who you are. If you have my respect, then the highest compliment I can give you is to honor what you call yourself.

FHky

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 4/14/2006 12:48:00 AM

Mavis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

One opinion i have is that a Master has a stronger, more aggressive personality than a Dom. (That's not meant to offend the Dom's). It has just been my experience.

It's funny, and i am not disagreeing with you, i'm just chuckling about how we all experience things so differently.

my expereience there is exactly the opposite: the Doms i know tend to have overtly Dominant personalities, but Masters tend to be lower key. Granted, that could be an aspect of Doms who grow into Masters as they age and mellow a bit... and maybe experience takes the edge off the dominance. i definately see the *aggressive behaviors soften into *assertive.

[save this post, in 10 years i want to re-read all the opinions i had at 45, so i can laugh at myself at 55! ]

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 4/14/2006 8:20:05 AM

babyblues

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Guage pretty much has it...a master is a Dom who has found somebody who calls him master.

i am a slave - it is not a term i use lightly...i know many submissives and even more "so-called" submissives, but few real slaves....if i were un-owned would i not still be a slave? my worth and mindset do not change based on ownership, although, being owned i am able to bloom....

i believe it is the same for Masters....whether He owns a slave or not - a Master is a Master....He is not diminished because He doesn't own a slave....but with ownership, Mastery is fully realized and strengthened...

people use the words "Master and slave" so easily....TOO easily, in my opinion...

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RE: Master vs. Dom - 4/14/2006 10:21:29 AM

CanadianGuy

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"Dominant" is a trait, IMO. When I refer to myself I usually say "dominant" not "a dominant". In other words, it's an adjective, not a noun. My girl never calls me her "dominant" - she calls me by the name she chose which is Daddy, or by my real name. If she said "can we please go to the store, dominant?" I would be quite confused and disturbed.

"Master" is a name. She indeed does call me Master occasionally. I don't feel that the term fits me, but when she's in that mindframe to put herself in the completely submissive position of being owned that way, it's not an inappropriate term at all.

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