KateyCaine
Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact It may sound very cold but this, and all of the other threads like it, is like the trainwreck that never ends. There is something here that I don't really believe you understand. The world does not revolve around you. Just because you want to justify something in your mind, doesn't make it so. Granted, I'm not your Daddy, but I'm going to tell you this. If you were in My life, and you tried to tell Me that you had every right to hit Me in anger because you were triggered, I would take Myself out the door and never look back. I wouldn't care if you were male or female. That crap would happen exactly once, and I would walk. My own slave has ADHD and PTSD and I promise you that if he ever raised a hand to Me, I'd release him so fast his head would spin. In the almost three years that I have been on CM, this is the most destructive, co-abusive, co-dependent relationship I have read about. It would be My opinion that you do not need a weekend stay at a facility. You need some extensive, long term care, which probably should start with a thirty day program, and go to out patient after that. There are a multitude of problems here that can not be fixed over a the course of a couple of days. When it comes to following the rules of that facility, you need to suck it up. Those rules are in place for the safety of everyone. That comes over and about your personal happiness. If even half of the time that was spent on these threads was put into some real work for some real solutions, I think you'd be a much happier person. I do want you to know that I am not personally attacking you. I do think you waited far too long to get help, but now that you are, you need to stick with it. You need to make serious changes and get out of the mindset that everybody should do everything the way you want them done. The possibility exists that maybe your way or Daddy's way, hasn't worked out so well. It's time to start doing the positive things. Ttftb, i am in total agreement with LadyPact - this relationship is toxic. You and your partner appear to both be toxic people, and by staying together, you are completely destroying eachother. i am fully aware of how brutal this sounds, however, it does appear that you both keep going back for more; and all those in your life who love you are being hurt too, by having to watch this war-zone day in day out. Not to mention the innocent fur-child that is being traumatised anddragged into it. (i'm not sure if you have any actual children in this house, i certainly hope not). Violence and abuse is disgusting and TOTALLY unacceptable, no matter who the one doing it is; and no matter what reasons they may give to justify this appalling behaviour. The situation that you are in is a vicious circle that is just going to keep going round and round and round to infinity - you are clearly miserable, and in all honesty, i don't see the way in which you relate to eachother changing or becoming healthy any time. Domestic violence can only escalate. You need to get on the right psych meds, meds that don't make the symptoms of your illness worse; and you need to work on recovery/remission before thinking about being in ANY relationship. You getting better has to come first, and that won't be a quick fix, i can assure you of that. The two of you need to separate and work on your individual issues and psych conditions - neither of you will ever get well if this doesn't happen. This is the only way the two of you will be able to focus solely on your own development and recovery. Stop excusing away your unacceptable behaviour by blaming others - stopping this cycle is ON YOU. Taking responsibility is what being an adult is about. We are all responsible for our own behaviour, our actions and our futures. i apologise if this is not what you were wanting to hear, but sometimes it takes an outsider who doesn't have a stake in the situation, to see and point out what state things REALLY are in. k.
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Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge) i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me. His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.
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