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Lucifyre -> RE: I Admit It I........ (6/7/2012 6:42:14 PM)
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I admit I had one of the worst weeks ever.
Saturday my 15 year old rottweiler got sick, he stopped eating and started to have frequent bouts of bloody diareah. I couldnt call the vet until Monday morning and he soonest he could make it out for a housecall was yesterday.
Magni was very old, and now too sick to treat. We had to put him to sleep. I held him in my arms and cried while the medication was administered.
I know it was the right thing to do, it was the best decision to make for him. He was my friend and companion and I loved him with all my heart, letting him go was the only choice to make.
I keep wanting to call him to me for his every 15 minute love. I'm never gonna get all the dog hair out of the house. I can't find the pictures I took of him last year with his ears all perked up and his nub tail going 157 miles an hour making his whole ass wiggle and his dumb elephant squeeky toy dangling from his mouth.
Every time I think of him I think of things like when he used to take a tennis ball to the top of the stairs in our old house and drop it down so he could run down and chase it, or if there was a towel or jacket tossed over the back of a chair he would get under it so it touched his head so he could "pet" himself, or him knocking my arm off my desk when he wanted attention and making sure to stick his cold nose in my armpit until I leaned over and gave him a smooch and a scratch.
And then I think of him laying there in my arms, barely even there any more and then taking his last breath.
I feel so terribly guilty and my heart is broken.
I admit I was going to start a new thread on this somewhere else, but I'd rather hide it here in the I admit thread because I just needed to write a little bit and not make a big fuss.
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