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RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/31/2017 7:54:12 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I admit I'm pretty lonely.
I admit some of that is in my head.
I admit it's strange that sometimes what you want when you're lonely is to actually be alone.


My guess is that you may want to be alone when you're feeling like that because if you're among people with whom you're not feeling connected, that can only magnify the feeling. I'm certain that if I were given the choice of being alone or being surrounded by people who make me feel alone, I'd choose actually being alone every time.

Loneliness is more common among adult women than people realize. Ironically, you're not alone.












Correct.
The man and I have been so busy we haven't connected and the family is on my nerves and I live with my brother who I'm fighting with currently.

We go on vacation tomorrow- and like adult just me and the guy in a hotel king bed style vacation- which has been a long time coming. So I'm excited for that- it's just everything until it's just us.

Also- I need fasting blood work today. To find out if I have fucking PCOS and if I'm still hypothyroid and see where my goddamn blood sugar is.

So I'm not real thrilled about finding out that the reason I'm having so much trouble with weight loss is that my body is fucked up.



I admit that I have felt like this before. In fact I have said in these forums that the loneliest I have ever felt is being laid awake night after night at the side of the man that was supposed to love me, knowing that the only reason he wanted me there was so that he could sleep whilst not caring that it caused me pain to be there. I also had people around me that expected me to make all the effort to be around them, and whilst they were decent friends, when I needed them the most they just weren't there.

I admit that since being single, and cutting these people out of my life I have not felt lonely once. It's not always about cutting people out, but certainly about fixing relationships. To feel lonely is have something toxic in your life that effects everything else.

I admit that I have suffered with PCOS for years. Getting control of my weight was a huge deal for me, especially considering the huge amount of exercise I did, and how much I dieted. If it helps any; I follow the ketogenic lifestyle, which is very low carb, high good fats, and moderate proteins. Many people use it to control PCOS, and Thyroid issues with huge success, and weight loss. Just in case you want to look in to it.

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 71601
RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/31/2017 7:58:59 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

Theres a lot of shit to admit, but mostly I am sending positive thoughts to you who are suffering out there.

Life is definitely a roller coaster right now, but today I had a very happy lunchtime watching the squirrels in the garden.
I saw a vid of a squirrel and a slinky the other day, so hubby went out and got a plastic one, so it doesnt cut if they fall.
It was amusing to say the least and cheered us both up.
I hope you can all find something to enjoy today.



I admit I'm glad that the squirrels brought you both some cheer :-) I know many people see them as vermin, but they are the most amusing little creatures. I love them.

I admit that you and your husband are always in my thought. Positive, healing energy sent your way.

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 71602
RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/31/2017 9:59:05 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Thanks Needles. I have tried keto before- but got so sick on the third day that I didn't want to continue. I also love love love baking. And work in the restaurant industry (I own one). These are some things I enjoy the most about myself and I just end up feeling really sad giving them up, but it seems to be heading in that direction. I also have developed a nut allergy so a lot of low carb baking is almond flour based. Baking is something that I really am good at and love doing- and our restaurant has been in the family for four generations so taking a back seat to menu development in that is kinda soul crushing too.

My doctor wants to get the blood test results and go from there. She said she'd help find a nutritionist. So I'm hoping they can help me find a place of balance.

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 71603
RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/31/2017 10:45:02 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		Aaawwww, I see where you're coming from. I love baking too for my family, but it's not my business, so slightly different. I'm constantly trying to adapt recipes to make them keto friendly, and often use coconut flour instead of almond as I prefer it, but I know it's not the same. Still, baking may not be my life, but I've had everything about my life stripped away from me due to my illness, so I'd understand your feeling on that. As to the feeling so ill trying Keto; it can do that because of the sugar withdrawal. It's how I found out that it's such a trigger for my migraines. I used to do a bodybuilders shredding diet that is an adapted version with what they call a carb refeed day each week. OMG, every Tuesday I was hit with a migraine, but not like my normal migraines. It was so clockwork that I didn't want the refeed day, but I was losing weight. With full keto it's called keto flu, and it's due to the amount of water weight you lose so quickly, and an electrolyte imbalance. It's why keeping your salts up is so important. The higher your carb and sugar intake is, the worse it will probably be. Water, and good electrolytes are the key with the first couple of weeks, but after that it's usually plain sailing.

I'm in the UK, and we are not so set up for this way of life as you guys are, but then we are against most of the artificial sweeteners too, which many use huge amounts of in their baking so that they don't miss out on things. Many also find that they kick in the huge cravings and sugar spikes too, so have to be careful. I personally can't stand sweeteners, and prefer to use vanilla instead, but it would be nice to have something that didn't trigger so hard.

I have seen a few members in the keto groups that run their own restaurants, and they had thought the same as you too. Now they find themselves adding keto dishes to the menus. I do wish we'd catch up here, we can't even ask for substitutes in my home town because everything is so micro managed with portions

I hope your guys find the answers for you though. Good luck with it all xx

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 71604
RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/31/2017 11:01:17 AM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline 		These things can take time before your GP, or a consultant, can get to grips with them properly. You've time yet to get to grips with it.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 71605
RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/31/2017 12:25:03 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

I admit look under the couch, peppermint...my niece's cat loves hiding under my sofa bed when I was petsitting her for a week. For some reason she is afraid of me.



There is no under my couch to hide as i use wicker outdoor furniture instead of couches and chairs, but I did look under the beds and in closet and behind furniture. This morning I did yet another search for her. An hour later Gary's sister came here and spotted the cat on top of the bed. Grrrrrr. We'll never find their hiding place. She looks a little better. Doesn't have that panicked look in her eyes. AND...at 5 am her sister Shyla shows up meowing at the door. Nothing wrong with her. No explanation as to why she's been gone for 3 days. We expected whatever had gotten Roxy and killed Shyla. Took the 6 by 6 out yesterday and went all over the property looking for her. I'm starting to think that cats are as stressful as children.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 71606
RE: I Admit It I........ - 3/31/2017 10:41:19 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		My neighbor's cats are like that...I get concerned if I don't see them at my place and hope the coyotes did not have them for a midnight snack. One of them is an excellent mouser and his patrols keeps us mouse-free.

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 71607
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/1/2017 2:40:56 PM   
oliviadovie


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/5/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleclip

I admit it I hope for healing to all those who have pain
I admit it I hope for those who are alone to have someone to talk to
I admit it to those with bipolar to get the balance the deserve
I admit it for those with depression no matter how dark the night there is always a light to chase the darkness away



I admit I love this and so needed it!

(in reply to littleclip)
Profile   Post #: 71608
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/1/2017 2:53:39 PM   
oliviadovie


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/5/2016
Status: offline 		I admit I'm experiencing some of the things some of you have shared.

I admit my cats help keep me sane and I love them. (I have 2)

I admit I'm having the hardest time finding someone to transcribe my hand written notebooks to a flash drive and I'm confused.

I admit a submissive contacted me to take the job and is owned. I require a confidentiality agreement as I'm taking said stories and turning them into a few books. She told me she could do the work but couldn't keep it confidential from her owner which I understand.

I admit I would ask a vanilla friend to type them for me, but she would not be able to handle all the BDSM stuff which is why I looked among my own kind.

I admit I do understand if you are owned, you can't keep things from your Master.

I admit I'm spending more time in the BDSM world. I'd stepped away for a long while due to health and other issues.

I admit it's not so easy to walk away from who and what you are.

I admit I'm going to look at Keto as I am also taking Metformin and my AIC was too high and I need to lose 140lbs and I don't want surgery.

I admit "Le sigh."



dovie (who has been here since 2005, but left deactivated account and is now a newbie , LOL)

(in reply to oliviadovie)
Profile   Post #: 71609
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/1/2017 3:00:25 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		^ yah I'm considering surgery, although a reversible one like balloon or lapband I have about 80 lbs to lose. Having seen some of my test results...I see metformin in my future too.
My A1C is on the high end of acceptable and my glucose over the last 3 months is just above where it should be.

(in reply to oliviadovie)
Profile   Post #: 71610
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/1/2017 4:09:00 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

^ yah I'm considering surgery, although a reversible one like balloon or lapband I have about 80 lbs to lose. Having seen some of my test results...I see metformin in my future too.
My A1C is on the high end of acceptable and my glucose over the last 3 months is just above where it should be.



I have lost just over 130 pounds in a year.

All I did was change my eating habits after being told I was borderline diabetic and the root cause was some meds a previous doctor prescribed.

Went off the meds, cut my sugar and carbs in half, and now I am wearing pants I have not been able to wear in over 7 yrs.

Oh, and five mile walks with Kera has helped, not to mention the occasional 7 mile chases when she escapes


_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 71611
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/1/2017 4:30:45 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

^ yah I'm considering surgery, although a reversible one like balloon or lapband I have about 80 lbs to lose. Having seen some of my test results...I see metformin in my future too.
My A1C is on the high end of acceptable and my glucose over the last 3 months is just above where it should be.



I have lost just over 130 pounds in a year.

All I did was change my eating habits after being told I was borderline diabetic and the root cause was some meds a previous doctor prescribed.

Went off the meds, cut my sugar and carbs in half, and now I am wearing pants I have not been able to wear in over 7 yrs.

Oh, and five mile walks with Kera has helped, not to mention the occasional 7 mile chases when she escapes



Unfortunately it's not that easy. I am likely going to be diagnosed with PCOS, already diagnosed with hypothyroidism. So the deck is stacked against me a bit. I have been trying to lose weight for 12 years. With limited and short lived success, once when I had great success mono can claim half the responsibility for that.

So while I admire your success- I'm unlikely to lose 30 lbs in a year- much less 130.

I walk my pup 3 miles on nice days, 1-2 on crappy snow days. I've gained 8 lbs since I got him and I haven't changed my eating habits at all. So...surgery seems like a reasonable solution, at least to me.

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 71612
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/1/2017 5:56:54 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		Now to make many drool.....

I admit that yesterday evening I took a dozen fresh picked tomatoes and ran them through the blender......
I admit that I took all that freshly pureed tomato goodness and put it into a slow cooker.
I admit that I added fresh garlic, parsley, oregano, basil, rosemary and thyme to the tomato puree.
I admit that I let it cook over night

I admit that at 3pm I mixed flour, salt, yeast, sugar and olive oil and other things according to my Sicilian aunt's recipe.
I admit that I actually made four batches

I admit that I took home made lean pepperoni and Italian sausage (my own preparation with pork and venison) and prepped it nicely.

I admit that after the dough had risen properly, it was spread on four 18 inch round pans and covered with a blend of Romano, mozzarella, Parmesan, and provolone cheese, with slices of pepperoni and precooked sausage placed on top, with fresh bell peppers, onions, black and green olives, followed by even more cheese mix.

I admit that they were baked to perfection in a 450 degree oven....

I admit we have tons of left overs since the people that had said they would be here decided not to show up.

I further admit that I kind of blew my diet tonight.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 71613
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/2/2017 2:03:39 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I admit that my doctor wants me to look into gastric bypass surgery but I do have my reservations about it.

I admit I am up early again but I am fixin' to work on some projects.

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 71614
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/2/2017 4:42:22 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		I admit Jeff that your dinner does sound delicious, even if I couldn't eat it, but I bet it tasted amazing :-)

Needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 71615
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/2/2017 5:15:23 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oliviadovie

I admit I'm experiencing some of the things some of you have shared.

I admit my cats help keep me sane and I love them. (I have 2)

I admit I'm having the hardest time finding someone to transcribe my hand written notebooks to a flash drive and I'm confused.

I admit a submissive contacted me to take the job and is owned. I require a confidentiality agreement as I'm taking said stories and turning them into a few books. She told me she could do the work but couldn't keep it confidential from her owner which I understand.

I admit I would ask a vanilla friend to type them for me, but she would not be able to handle all the BDSM stuff which is why I looked among my own kind.

I admit I do understand if you are owned, you can't keep things from your Master.

I admit I'm spending more time in the BDSM world. I'd stepped away for a long while due to health and other issues.

I admit it's not so easy to walk away from who and what you are.

I admit I'm going to look at Keto as I am also taking Metformin and my AIC was too high and I need to lose 140lbs and I don't want surgery.

I admit "Le sigh."



dovie (who has been here since 2005, but left deactivated account and is now a newbie , LOL)

Hey dovie. Why don't you contact that sub and ask if she AND her owner would sign a confidentiality agreement.
You get your transcription, she gets her pay and he gets some juicy stories and they won't go any farther than that.
Maybe he'll even get some evil ideas.

win win win win

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to oliviadovie)
Profile   Post #: 71616
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/2/2017 5:58:02 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Thanks Needles. I have tried keto before- but got so sick on the third day that I didn't want to continue. I also love love love baking. And work in the restaurant industry (I own one). These are some things I enjoy the most about myself and I just end up feeling really sad giving them up, but it seems to be heading in that direction. I also have developed a nut allergy so a lot of low carb baking is almond flour based. Baking is something that I really am good at and love doing- and our restaurant has been in the family for four generations so taking a back seat to menu development in that is kinda soul crushing too.

My doctor wants to get the blood test results and go from there. She said she'd help find a nutritionist. So I'm hoping they can help me find a place of balance.



I don't know what kind of restaurant you run, so perhaps it's not appropriate, but Paleo's big right now. Have you considered working up some menu items that are Paleo? You could possibly increase your sales by advertising to restaurant experience-starved Paleo followers and practice some grain- and dairy-free foods at the same time. Especially if you're more north, like I think you are, where Paleo options are even more limited? Maybe it's a bit of an untapped market?

Plenty of baking goes on, too. I don't use artificial sweeteners. Hate them. Not even Stevia, which I know technically isn't artificial. When I bake, I use maple syrup, honey, or vanilla. And though I don't have a nut allergy, I've found that when I have baked with almond flour, it just winds up not agreeing with us. So I don't use nut flours anymore when I bake. There is still plenty to work with. Shit, if someone told me there was a place where I could buy delicious, quality Paleo muffins, breads, and cakes, I would be all over that.

I believe that the understanding is that the basic premise of the Paleo diet is the diet of choice for those with PCOS. Even if someone with PCOS were to follow Paleo, and not bring themselves into keto, she would reap the benefits of decreased sugar, carbs, and dairy.

I know...none of my business, really. It's just that I have real, chronic, and in one case, surgery-recommended conditions. The symptoms of these conditions all but disappear when I remove added sugars, grains, and dairy. (And, in my case, eggs, though eggs are Paleo.) It's hard - sometimes it's really hard - and I still stomp my feet about it all and have weaknesses and believe me, I really do get what you're saying when you say that you feel sad giving up those things that you have used to define yourself. But I am living proof that diet really can heal, so...I guess I'm like a reformed smoker in that respect. (Oh, wait, I'm one of those as well. LOL) And I'm someone who will do anything I can do avoid someone slicing into me, if possible. It's barbaric, in a way. Unavoidable at times, I know, but...healing with diet is a much more peaceful path to take, or at least to try if surgery is not necessarily imminent; to exhaust all other options.

I'll shut up now.





(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 71617
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/2/2017 7:14:50 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I admit I'm too weak willed.
I admit I wish I weren't- but I suck at it and I hate myself for not being able to- but I've tried both these things and I just can't see the benefits ever outweighing how miserable I am when I'm doing them.
I admit I hear how bratty and fat that sounds of me- but it's just how I'm feeling right now.
I admit I still need to talk to the doctor and a nutritionist so...we will see what happens.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 71618
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/2/2017 8:08:22 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		I'm sorry, Shifty, if it seems like I was pressuring you. I just...grrr...I see so much of myself when you post about this. I want to get in my car and drive north and give you a good smack and giant hug all at the same time. :)

To be honest, having a sadist in your life to control your spending and chain you to the kitchen with only healthy foods available is kind of the key to success, in my opinion. (Oh, he'll tell you he's not a sadist, but I beg to differ!) He's really the reason I've reached this point. I joke sometimes that if I ever have to call the paramedics for him, I'll be asking them to stop off and pick up a pizza on the way.

It's hard. It has always been hard for me and it still is, more than many people in my life know, so I do get it. I hope you find the path that's right for you.


(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 71619
RE: I Admit It I........ - 4/2/2017 8:34:35 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Yah- I'll get there. It's just my sadist homebrews beer and loves cooking with me. My sadist is also on record saying that while he supports any diet I choose, he'd miss being fat together (he's kidding- no one worry...).

My sadist also has always been incredibly fine with my body however it is. Which is how I prefer it.

But I have asked him to realllllly kick my ass into going to the gym and actually pushing me a bit when we get back from vacation.
I am super open to replacing spaghetti with spaghetti squash and other veggie noodles, rice with rice cauliflower, and so forth. It's truly bread and the restaurant stuff that I can't manage to let go of. My home sourdough starter is two years old and I've loved it the whole time. And I'm fucking good at this shit. I'm a good baker and a good cook and it kills me to have to let go of one of the few things I feel really talented at, where I can express my creativity, and an area of my life where my mental illness hasn't completely crushed any self esteem.

In talking with the dude- he thinks I should try doing two meals that are pretty much paleo and have one meal that includes some carbs- but only whole grain and I have to give up things that are full of processed shit and sugar. So if I'm going to have carbs- whole grains and homemade only. Which I think I can manage ok- since I'm kinda half way there. He also made a point to tell me I also have to reduce stress, and sleep more.

Also- and my other northeastern friends- can't fucking winter just be over now? I like snow and seasons and all. But I'd really like to go for a bike ride or start jogging with my dog now that he's old enough and I can't do those things with a fucking foot of snow on the goddamn ground. Mother Nature needs to get her goddamn shit together!

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 71620
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