I kind of agree with those who say that it's up to you.
My views on selfishness for a dominant are admittedly a bit odd. Because I always preach responsibility and accountability. And many people read this as my saying you should pander first to the needs and wants of your girl.
In my mind being a dominant is an act of claiming. We take things. We make things our own. It's impossible for a dom to control his space if he doesn't claim it, and impossible to keep safe what he doesn't control. Since this was clearly in your area of control, it's fine if she says she'd prefer you leave it, but I think calling it selfish is both redundant and crossing some line, somewhere.
I'm told I'm an odd sort of sadist. I don't so much get off on pain, but inflicting emotional difficulty and duress is another sort of claiming tool I have for driving home that a space is mine. But that's also for the benefit of the girl since that's what, at that moment, she's there for. So, often I intentionally do what I know my partner won't like, but in that way it's as much for them as it is for me, even though it's dictated by my wants and, if you will, my selfishness. It also makes me enjoy it often a touch more but, y'know.
So in other words, the responsibility I preach is in taking care of, at least in that moment, what is yours; under your stewardship and control. And sometimes that means first enforcing the nature of that exchange in a way they won't like.
In short, fair enough if she regards it as selfishness. In your place, I would inform her that selfishness is my prerogative, and make a point of doing the same thing she complained about until she learned to show proper deference in requesting otherwise. But that's just me, trying to show my own views and approach, not to enforce them on anyone else.
< Message edited by Thatbastard -- 12/4/2009 8:38:23 AM >