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RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 1:24:30 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Are there personality quirks or aspects that strongly impact your perception of dominance and your capacity for submission, either way?

Akasha


I used to believe there was.  But then discovered that you cannot dictate to submission.

the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 1:26:23 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i need someone with feathers


Ooooo.... a fellow pteraphile...

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 4:38:55 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		It would seem like everyone knows what "submit to" means except me.  I don't understand it at all.  All I know is that I submit (yeild to authority) all the time to anything and everything that has authority in the same degree that the authority is exercised.  I stop at stop signs which is an implied authority of some governing entity.  I will "walk this way" when a restaurant hostess tells me to.  I will not sit on wet paint.  I will go the direction the traffic cop indicates even if that's not the direction I intended to go. 

So in order for me to submit to authority, I have to know that the authority exists.

In order for me to submit to my Master, I had to be willing to recognize His authority over me.  In other words, it had to be a shift in my thinking.  Now if I had to name a quality that shifted my thinking would be integrity, I suppose but then I know a lot of people with integrity to whom I am not nor would not be a slave.  I guess I had to open up enough to allow the exercise of authority and to that I am hardwired to submit.

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Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 6:38:47 AM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		There are a few things that will turn me off. One is personal hygiene, I dont consider myself to be a Felix Unger type of guy being over critical or even a neat freak or a fashion cop
but personal hygiene says alot about the person such as their priorities, I would think that personal hygiene has to be right there at the top unless the person is dysfunctional in some way and in that case they may be lacking intelligence which brings me to my knees and also tells me they may be unhealthy physically also. you mentioned dressing up and though it is a big plus for me it is not a deal breaker. The main quality that does it for me is the way She presents herself, if she has self confidence, assertiveness, is aggresssive
and wants control and takes it Im done. I like a Domme who knows she has the power and with just a look will say to me "you and I both know your mine if I choose to have you and I may". Another thing that does not do it for me is to be treated as sub human, in certain situations a little abuse is ok if that is what pleases her but 24/7 can get under your skin after a while.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 3:41:07 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

...partner need to have for you to submit?


A large club!!!






Attachment (1)

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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 6:13:02 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		Compelled... Smart, extroverted, charming, emotionally perceptive, aggressive, great sense of timing (the latter is really important), and very controlling, very sadistic. Interests as sick as mine would be nice, but I'll settle for almost as sick. ;)

What I don't like is a short list, and all of the things on it (well, except for the moustaches) have to do with things that would make the person not feel fully dominant to me. Passivity probably tops this list.

I don't care particularly about most beliefs, behavior, habits, gender (or desired gender), fetishes, appearance (with the noted exception), or non-sexual interests; that stuff is not essential, and I am very adaptable and open-minded. But I do absolutely insist that the person be able to control me.



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"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 7:17:26 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		More things turn me off than on, I'm pretty picky about those who dominate me.  Like a lot of people, I have been burnt in relationships over the years, so there's plenty of things that are immediate red flags to me, possibly erroneously but I can't help how I feel. 

turn offs-- ignorance, rudeness, poor hygiene, overweight, lacking in social graces (i.e. inability to verbally communicate in social settings) atrocious spelling, facial hair, lack of hair on head, serious body hair, mental instability, financial instability, meanness, unpredictability, poly proclivities.  There's a few...

turn ons--confidence, tall, thin, educated, dominant, aggressive without being a jack ass about it, charismatic, motivated, highly intelligent, and well, everything the opposite of above! 

< Message edited by HisSweetElysium -- 1/27/2010 7:19:21 PM >

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“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 7:33:01 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		i think it's something on an animal level. If i feel another's spirit, life-force, or soul is stronger ( alpha ) than mine, i submit.
The level of submission is in relation to the depth of the relationship.
To my Master, i give all.
i hope that makes sence.
-fae

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FelineFae
All right reserved by Chaos
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Do not expose FelineFae to direct sunlight.
FelineFae cannot spell in any language.
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Individual results may vary.


(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/27/2010 8:50:55 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: humble75
I like someone who will have me on edge, kinda scared and uneasy. Also, someone who makes me feel naked and bare, like I cant hide from them.


I know where you live.
Your photos cover my walls, I have your high school yearbooks open on my homemade altar.
I paint your face with my semen and blood, filling entire notebooks with our names together.
I stand outside your bedroom window sometimes watching you as I snap my straightrazor open and shut thinking of how that blood pulses so beautifully beneath that velvet skin wanting to open you up and crawl inside you and wear you like a second skin as the voices shriek ever louder redrum redrum REDRUM!


Horny yet?


Oh God, yes!! I think I just saw you on an episode of Criminal Minds...

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 10:47:49 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		For me it is feeling cared for, safe
Honesty
Integrty
And a least to me a sense of humor is essential.
Condfience
Intelligence

Turn offs: rude
sadistic
bad hygene
sloppy
unable to open up to me


This is just a basic list in no particular order there is more, but if i wrote that be here all day.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 10:50:07 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i need someone with feathers


Looks like you already got her eating out of your hand  <grin>



she is demanding grape tribute


You crack me up.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 10:59:11 AM   
marsneedswomen


Posts: 98
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Mainly that they are mentally balanced and happy with their lives and want you to be a part of their life.

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 11:09:51 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		i've posted this before....i can submit to anybody, really, or even anything. Heck, i could submit to my poodle right now if you wanted me to, or the chair i'm sitting in, it's simple, i have no issues with handing over my body for use. Submission for me is simply an action, and it's one that i don't attach any emotional "meaning" to.

One of the reasons i don't play casually or even go to BDSM clubs or play parties is because it's too easy for me to get into a situation that i shouldn't be in. My brain works in such a way that if a Dominant man or woman wants to use me, and approaches me as such, it is very, very hard for me to resist. i have more than once just handed myself over and been thinking in my mind "what the HECK am i doing with this person" and yet, i can't say No. i have found that to protect my value as property (meaning me) it is much better for me to live in "hibernation" as i call it, away from situations where i might get myself into trouble, until such time as i am owned again.

And that is actually something i greatly need an Owner for, to protect me in some ways from myself, and give me that "safe space" to just exist and just be for him. And then he owns my submission, and decides how it's used - not me.

So really for me is the question is not who to submit to, it is who to have own me, and what qualities would i prefer he have as an Owner in order for me to be the most fulfilled as his property. But that's a different discussion.

(edited for clarity)

< Message edited by UniqueRaven -- 1/28/2010 11:11:41 AM >

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 11:21:29 AM   
flogger


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/27/2004
Status: offline 		Im going to be honest, don't know at all until it happens.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 12:13:31 PM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline 		I could only submit to a Dominant that I trusted to have my best interests at heart.  A strong personality, not afraid to exert control over me in whatever way he sees fit (within my hard limits), but has a true desire to not do harm to me emotionally.

Intelligence and enough compassion to listen when I'm feeling weak or uncertain.  I have certain limitations that simply cannot be pushed too far without quite literally snapping my sanity, and I need a Master who can understand that and adjust his dominance to meet both our needs.

So... in a nutshell, strong and powerful enough to command my respect and submission.  But compassionate and self-aware enough to soften a bit when I really need understanding.

(in reply to flogger)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 12:16:37 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Points up...what she said.

(in reply to HisEvelyn)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 12:19:36 PM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline 		Stop being so similar to me, Red.  I'm going to have to snuggle you if you don't! :)

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 12:23:50 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		I could say they have to be smart but I've met smart people who make me feel as submissive as Elizabeth I, I could say attractive but I have submitted totally to people I haven't been attracted to, I could say strength but what the hell is that.

It is a shit answer but the only honest one I have, they need to have it, I don't know what it is, I don't know what creates the chemistry I just know most people don't have it and the people who do make me unbelievably happy

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'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 12:58:52 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

Stop being so similar to me, Red.  I'm going to have to snuggle you if you don't! :)


That's ok, snuggle away. :)

(in reply to HisEvelyn)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you ... - 1/28/2010 1:02:16 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		I need to feel SAFE w/him.
He has to have a sense of humor.
Thankfully I found the right one for me. I feel completely safe AND he makes me laugh.

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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 40
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