RE: Femdom Mistress Parties

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Zamek -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/3/2010 3:35:06 AM)
All I can say it that being the submissive male at an event like thins is a life long fantasy of mine. I wish I could find it. I am sure it is someplace in the Chicago area... :)

slavekal -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/3/2010 10:12:48 AM)
This thread inspired me. I am going to host a CFNM party on April 30.

Zamek -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/3/2010 11:14:59 AM)
If you arein Chicago, oh please keep me informed. My problem is that i do not have a Domme. Will a single submissive male be welcome, or will all participants have to come with a partner? i am sorry to be new to this.. thanks

Andalusite -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/3/2010 11:48:18 AM)
Zamek, you're being really lazy, but I'll go ahead and give you a link anyway: http://www.clubfem.com/international.htm scroll down the page to the e-mail address of the organiser for the Chicago chapter.

Zamek -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/3/2010 1:41:30 PM)
Thank You very much - I have sent a message to learn more. I am sorry for being lazy......

hardbodysub -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/3/2010 3:50:49 PM)
Go for it, Cal!

beej -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/3/2010 5:37:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen The majority of advertised parties like this are FemDom/male s-type. With a few exceptions (slaveKal being one of them) most of the guys I've met looking to go to one of these parties treat the situation as a fetish buffet and go about objectifying the Women there under the guise of "serving". It becomes about how many Women they can get to x, y, and z to them....not so much about what those Women really want to do. thank you so much for this, boijen. i just got involved in my local scene and have already been invited to such a party by a foot fetishist. i didn't like the feel of it from the start. it seemed bizarrely offhand for a first acquaintance. i'm not even into feet like that. a body painting party, i could get into. :)

BoiJen -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/3/2010 5:54:17 PM)
Give your local party a shot. It may be one of the exceptions of a good FemDom party to go to and maybe even make a few friends :-)

azjojoba -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/4/2010 11:15:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite LP, the Twisted Tea parties are not open to the public, women need to contact the organisers and ask to be invited, and men have to undergo training at a class, paying for materials/etc. ahead of time to be accepted as servers. So how would we as guys know whether the training is just a way for some women to rip us off, or is really to prepare us for these parties? Locally the price quoted for training is so ridiculous the women's Tea Party group should just admit that they only want rich men who are willing to be milked for money.

azjojoba -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/4/2010 11:23:41 PM)
I'm curious about indentifying gender. In those parties it will become obvious who is male since they are required to remove their clothes -- but female dommes are a different story since I assume they can remain totally clothed. So, how are the women vetted?

slavekal -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/5/2010 7:33:18 AM)
Most transexuals are not hard to spot. But in the end, we have to trust people and hope they will be honest. Parties I host are attended by people we know so that guys don't have to worry about strangers trying to pull a Jerry Springer Show type fraud.

Andalusite -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/5/2010 8:06:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba So how would we as guys know whether the training is just a way for some women to rip us off, or is really to prepare us for these parties? Locally the price quoted for training is so ridiculous the women's Tea Party group should just admit that they only want rich men who are willing to be milked for money. The ones I've seen locally are pretty inexpensive, mostly to cover the cost of materials, and is a one-time class, not on-going training. shrugs I suppose you could ask them for references from their current servers, as to how often they have the opportunity to do so, and if they felt that it was a worthwhile investment of their time and money. Also, if they have a partner or are looking, they can presumably use those skills in their actual relationships as well.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/5/2010 12:20:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba So how would we as guys know whether the training is just a way for some women to rip us off, or is really to prepare us for these parties? Locally the price quoted for training is so ridiculous the women's Tea Party group should just admit that they only want rich men who are willing to be milked for money. Depends on the price and the materials. FAD (Female Artists of Domination) in North Carolina is doing a "Subby Boot Camp" training day, the cost is pretty reasonable last I checked ($25 to $35 for the full day, it hasn't been finalized yet), and this includes lunch, dinner, printed handouts and assorted physical items.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/5/2010 12:36:20 PM)
Rob, check out this essay by Peppermint on How Not To Be That Guy. http://http://freaksexual.wordpress.com/2007/02/19/how-to-negotiate-play-parties-for-men/ I honestly recommend this for anyone new to the lifestyle. quote: I hold sex parties, and at every sex party, it seems like some guy messes up and pisses off some woman. In most cases, he is a perfectly nice and not at all creepy fellow who just screwed up slightly while following his instincts. Men of the naughty party world: I’m here to tell you that when it comes to sex and play parties, your instincts are wrong. Have you ever been that guy? Have you ever felt awkward at a play party? Have you ever said something at one of these parties and totally regretted it later? Have you ever made a really clumsy and bad come-on? Have you ever annoyed a woman at a party? Have you ever gone home with a severely deflated ego after a party that just did not go right? I have done most of these things, and after a number of years of experience in the scene, I have mostly learned how to get my groove on at these parties in a manner that makes me happy and does not piss off anyone I am interested in. This did not come naturally to me, but was learned through trial and error. To help other guys who have problems negotiating the party scene, I have put together this handy list of guidelines that will make these parties better for you and the people around you. I made up these rules specifically for men attracted to women, but they also work pretty well for men attracted to men, and those of us attracted to both. Go, read, put into practice. It really does work.

littlesarbonn -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/5/2010 2:38:44 PM)
My experience with these types of events have been very hit and miss. The good ones have been enjoyable by all, but there's also a sinister underpinning to some of the ones that went bad, and that usually involved numerous power plays that were going on behind the scenes between the different women involved. Part of the problem is that the crowd I would hang with tended to be extremists of femdom activities so that sometimes they would be extremists amongst themselves. There were times when I saw parties and events go really bad because one of the women wanted to be "top dog" and it just pretty much crashed the rest of the event around the drama that would unfold. Unfortunately, in most of these events, the few people who saw the problems emerging were submissives and completely powerless (yes, in the events I've attended there tends to be a strict dynamic that is maintained at these gatherings). A few times someone has tried to interject, or to circumvent problems, which tended to make things even worse. But having said that, some of the good events (the hits) have been wondrous and amazing.

azjojoba -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/6/2010 2:47:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer Depends on the price and the materials. FAD (Female Artists of Domination) in North Carolina is doing a "Subby Boot Camp" training day, the cost is pretty reasonable last I checked ($25 to $35 for the full day, it hasn't been finalized yet), and this includes lunch, dinner, printed handouts and assorted physical items. Thanks for that info. The one I found said training would be $1000 for each session, and there would be several training sessions. What you are describing is reasonable, and might indicate that I found a ripoff. The legit ones seem to be very difficult to find. Do you have any suggestions on how to look for them?

LadyPact -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/6/2010 3:04:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer Depends on the price and the materials. FAD (Female Artists of Domination) in North Carolina is doing a "Subby Boot Camp" training day, the cost is pretty reasonable last I checked ($25 to $35 for the full day, it hasn't been finalized yet), and this includes lunch, dinner, printed handouts and assorted physical items. Thanks for that info. The one I found said training would be $1000 for each session, and there would be several training sessions. What you are describing is reasonable, and might indicate that I found a ripoff. The legit ones seem to be very difficult to find. Do you have any suggestions on how to look for them? Yes. The best way to become involved/have information supplied is through the local munch group. A good number of BDSM groups have an independent vetting process that allows the members of said organizations to know who should be put on the guest list or not.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/6/2010 5:58:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Yes. The best way to become involved/have information supplied is through the local munch group. A good number of BDSM groups have an independent vetting process that allows the members of said organizations to know who should be put on the guest list or not. Exactly! i don't know how difficult it would be to find these types of events if i were NOT a part of the local BDSM community (although from reading this thread, it sounds like it is somewhat difficult). But i always found that being a known member of the local community helped immensely. Prior to each Femdom party, i would inevitably have several of the ladies approach me to make sure that i was planning on being there. Because they knew me, they knew that my presence would enhance their experience, not detract from it. But it is difficult for them to know that about a complete stranger. After all, if they are looking forward to a night of service and pampering, why would they want to potentially ruin that by allowing an unknown wanker who is expecting to have HIS fantasies serviced by a roomful of ladies? BTW, if you are part of a local BDSM group that doesn't sponsor events like this, try suggesting it to them. i have been a part of many BDSM groups, and all of them were constantly searching for new activities to provide for their members. Moreover, they ALWAYS needed people to help organize those activities. So suggest it, and then volunteer to help put it together.

Andalusite -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/6/2010 8:35:51 AM)
azjojoba, frankly, I don't think you should try to get involved with them, even if they are inexpensive to participate in. Even when they have training sessions, there is no guarantee that you will be allowed to serve. You come across as having a very poor attitude toward service, which would be likely to set a bad mood/vibe if you did so, and I believe that priority is often given to men who are already in service to one of the attending ladies, or who have at least one who will vouch for him, rather than by random lot. You'd probably still feel taken advantage of inancially, and the ladies would most likely be unhappy with you, and you wouldn't be welcome back again.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Femdom Mistress Parties (4/6/2010 9:53:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azjojoba Thanks for that info. The one I found said training would be $1000 for each session, and there would be several training sessions. What you are describing is reasonable, and might indicate that I found a ripoff. o.O That's definitely a ripoff. I'd consider it perfectly reasonable if FAD was charging more on the order of $80 or $100 for an all-day event with two meals, extensive printed handouts and a gift basket/practical item kit, and not a ripoff. As it is, it looks like they're doing it more or less at actual cost for the space plus the food and the stuff. I know the instructors aren't getting paid, because I'm one of them. Definitely not a ripoff or a commercial type enterprise; this is just FAD being FAD and doing cool stuff for its members. But a grand? Hell no, that's ridiculous. quote: The legit ones seem to be very difficult to find. Do you have any suggestions on how to look for them? Mostly, well organized femdom groups don't exist in every area. I'd recommend hitting the local Munches and mixed-energy events and asking, then starting your own femdom SIG or chapter if there isn't one in your location. But if you're not in a decently large city, you're probably screwed.

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