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sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 4:01:52 AM

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Hi , i have only been into this lifestyle for about a year, and been with the same Dom ever since. i have great emotions after a session with my Sir, and just heard about sub/drop yesterday, could you explain what kind of after care you give to your subs/slaves ? kat

RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 4:34:29 AM

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Have you tried the search button on the upper right corner of your screen?

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 6:05:29 AM

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I honestly didn't know that there were different kinds of aftercare. I just thought it was wrapping her in a blanket because she'll get cold otherwise, and holding her so when she "resurfaces", she'll feel cared for and loved.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 9:06:26 AM

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here are some things I found.

http://www.steel-door.com/aftercare.htm
http://www.ehow.com/how_6601319_self_administer-aftercare-bdsm.html

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 12:26:15 PM

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I need to be warmed up so a heavy quilt around is essential. I always am thirsty so I try to remember to bring glasses of water in with us. Then I need a nap. When I wake up I need food. If I'm impossibly cold to the point of shaking, he'll make me tea and hold it while I drink so I don't spill it. And I like to have some emergency chocolate around in case we don't get to eat right away.

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 12:32:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: katsdf69

Hi , i have only been into this lifestyle for about a year, and been with the same Dom ever since. i have great emotions after a session with my Sir, and just heard about sub/drop yesterday, could you explain what kind of after care you give to your subs/slaves ? kat

Doing a search for previous threads will probably be helpful to you. Beyond that, just remember that everyone is going to handle this differently because different people are going to need different things in their after care. And different scenes could bring out different reactions.

When I 'drop', which for me is hitting a bad and dark spot during play, I need people to back away and to let me tell them what I need. It's only happened once or twice and only one really badly. When that happened, I needed Valyraen to listen to me very carefully, I needed a blanket, I needed to be held and soothed and I needed him to get my favorite treats.

For subspace, which is a happy high feeling for me, I usually want to knead the carpet with my hands, giggle a lot, sit at someone's feet and play with either my mousie or my ball. If I can get someone to bat my ball around with me while I'm spaced, I'm very frikkin' happy.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 2:42:22 PM

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~FR~
I'm not a Master but a warm blanket, glass of water, cuddles and chocolate work for me.

~sweetsub~

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 8:49:59 PM

WolfyMontgomery

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Dealing with sub-drop is different for everybody. I know of a few girls who prefer having some time alone to process the events and recover on their own, and I know some that like cuddles and blankets and such. A Dom that's used to the first would be hurting the girl who needs blankets, just as a Dom who only knows girls of the second would totally piss off a girl who wanted alone time.

It's really best if you find what works best for you, what you need to feel better after a scene, etc. And always make sure that you communicate your specific needs to any Dom or really ANYONE you play with, to make sure those needs are met.

For me, I need to be held and reassured that whatever mind-fucks occurred don't actually apply to the real world, that I'm loved and appreciated, etc. Chocolate helps too. ;P Major cuddles against a warm body and blankets aren't necessary, but I am always in a touchy feely mood in an *extreme* way after a session.

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/18/2010 9:04:49 PM

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Thank-you all for your replies, and to Darksteven for the other sites to look at, now i understand what i have been going through, kat

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/19/2010 2:08:28 AM

ranja

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even after a light spanking W/we always have an arctic survival pack handy including the silver foil blanket and some astronaut food... and a therapist on standby...
better safe than sorry i always say

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/19/2010 3:56:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: katsdf69

Thank-you all for your replies, and to Darksteven for the other sites to look at, now i understand what i have been going through, kat

That was sofldan who gave you the links. But I'll be happy to take the credit anyway.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/19/2010 7:18:19 AM

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Sorry , Solfdan, and Thank-you DarkSteven, yall have helped me figure out alot,, now i need to speak to my Sir, and i hope He can understand what i am going through !!! kat

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/19/2010 7:26:15 AM

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No worries. Glad we could help you out with this.

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Hey lemme tie you up, all the cool kids are doing it!

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/19/2010 6:38:34 PM

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Aftercare is something that is different for everyone. It is also something that should be negotiated prior to a scene. As a top, i hate doing more than a couch, water, and blanket. Those that bottom to me know that they need someone else around to do the lovin and huggin. When i bottom i don't want touched, i want water and i smoke. With Sir, it is all the bells and whistles. i want the cuddlin and lovin.

Just really comes to knowing yourself and what you need that works best for you.

in life and leather
girl lee

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/19/2010 7:11:59 PM

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My first experienced sub told me he hated to orgasm. I didn't believe him, and pushed him into/past it. I soon discovered if he came when Serving, he hit subdrop like a paratrooper without a parachute. No matter what I did, he couldn't come out of it, but at least he knew what to do. he had to call his mother, no matter what time of day or night for a completely vanilla chat, and that was the only thing that brought him out of his dark place and back to normality.
It's very distressing for a Domme to not be able to alleviate such suffering.

So I quickly learned to LISTEN when subs understand what they need to prevent subdrop, even if it doesn't fit into my preconceived notions. And to keep a fluffy blanket and thermos of hot tea with milk handy! for all*
*milk helps prevent crankiness and low calcium from all his hyperventilation

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/22/2010 7:31:35 AM

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Kick `er out the door and say thanks...see ya soon -L-

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/22/2010 11:22:47 AM

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It's only happened a couple times for me. I like a blanket (especially one particular green fuzzy one) and I curl up on the couch with him spooning me and I have hot tea (with milk - I can't drink black tea without it, but I didn't realize the practical implications :) and something sweet like fruit or chocolate handy. We cuddle like this pretty regularly so I feel safe and normal.

(in reply to ThundersCry)

RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/27/2010 12:36:47 AM

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I'm not a Master...sorry if that bothers you and ignore this post if it does

It happens actually a lot of the time. Master has been also learning the best way to administer aftercare to me because it's almost different after everytime. The most recent, He gave me a very painful spanking after being outside for a while (naked, chained to a table like a dog) as punishment and afterwards I fell to the ground in tears and pain and Master massaged my back, arms and ass gently with warming oil making me feel loved again and it helped the punishment stick better with me. Other than that, I don't really remember a lot of our sessions...sometimes it's just cuddling, sometimes a nap. And sometimes there are those rare times that I don't need aftercare and I'm happy and hyper again. And even sometimes when all I want to do is play fetch with my Master. (I'm a fox girl)

Personnaly, my sub drops are rather extreme. Typically Master will get me to eat and drink something. Something to help my brain refocus. He knows also when I start to get violent with Him, He will put me in a straight jacket and tie my legs down on the bed so that I stop hurting Him. Then He'll talk with me as I'm tied and basically ride out the anger. I calm down after a while and then He'll release me and cuddle me. He knows that what I say isn't directed at Him because it's like I'm in another world or something so He understands and is able to not get angry no matter what I say. Once the anger subsides, He'll help me eat and drink something, then He'll pull me into His lap and chest and we'll talk about what happened. It's pretty much like aftercare for me after one of my sub drops.

I hope that helps you.

(in reply to switch2please)

RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/27/2010 1:23:21 AM

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I always toss her a blanky, a bag of M&Ms, pat her on the head and tell her she's a good girl. That seems to work for most people.

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RE: sub drop/and after care ??? - 10/27/2010 3:13:18 AM

WolfyMontgomery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I always toss her a blanky, a bag of M&Ms, pat her on the head and tell her she's a good girl. That seems to work for most people.

M&Ms would be a no-no for me. Gimme Dark Chocolate! -makes grabby hands- Otherwise I'm a crabby subby girlie girl. Unless they make dark chocolate M&Ms... those might work... do they make those?

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Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
..........that means my braces. >_>

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