What type of Introduction would make you notice a sub/slave?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> What type of Introduction would make you notice a sub/slave?

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What type of Introduction would make you notice a sub/s... - 1/9/2011 5:56:28 AM

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After getting many emails here from subs/slaves I have to wonder why very few will write something that make them stand out from all others and cause you to notice them. It is almost like Someone needs to hold a class for Subbies101 and teach them how to approach a Dominant to perk her interest, basic manners, what NOT to write in the initial email etc etc........Any of the Ladies care to comment? It does get frustrating!

~~not new to CM... just a name change to protect the NOT so innocent LOL ~~

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 6:39:43 AM

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There is a class - something of a go-at-your-own-pace kind of class. And it's online and free!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/tm.htm

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to XXMystiqueXX)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 6:46:47 AM

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Joined: 12/21/2010
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Yeah, I guess it would seem like there should be a Subbie 101 class on Collarme to teach some proper protocol... except for the fact that there is already a plethora of information interspersed throughout the forums! Some of the regulars on here have been extremely generous in their efforts to help educate eager submissives. And it's not exactly rocket-science. It really just boils down to some of these subs needing to use some critical thinking skills, get both hands on the keyboard for a second, and listen to what others have already said.

I've found that the most effective thing you can do to get someone's attention on CM is to show that there's more than sex on your brain. Show some intelligence and it'll work wonders. (Easier said than done for some I suppose...)

_____________________________

"The Journey is the Destination" - Dan Eldon (One of my heroes. R.I.P.)

(in reply to XXMystiqueXX)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 7:22:38 AM

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To be blunt about it, Mystique, your profile is not one that I would recommend for garnering seriously interested men. Your profile states nothing more that you want except a nonsmoking nondrinker DDF male submissive local to you for an LTR. Nothing about what relationship you want - fine dining, travel, a house slave, etc. You're fifty years old - to specify "no baggage" in a man presumably around your own age needs clarification - is it okay if he's divorced, has grown kids, etc.?

When I write a message, I will make sure to reference something in her profile that piqued my interest. I don't see that in yours, unless it's volunteerism or ren fests.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ThePeripatetic)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 10:39:37 AM

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Since I don't know what your other screen name was or how long you've been around the boards, I thought I'd mention a thread that we had some time back. This concept is buried in the course of another thread, but it's something that I personally go by. I call it the ten question concept.

A well written profile should hit enough areas about a person to be able to start a dialogue. Not the random one liners like 'what are you into' or other nonsense that people will send to your mailbox. Instead, there should be enough in a profile for any reader to be able to come up with at least ten questions about the person they wish to send an email. Not questions regarding kink or sex. Questions about things that relate to them as a person or how they view wiitwd. Just about anybody of any experience level can go to My profile and find something that they are interested in asking Me about. Whether that be what munch groups I attend, what is a Master's Cap, or what demo subjects that I present on. When people are able to do that, I know those are the messages where I am willing to respond.

An introduction note doesn't have to be all that complicated. A three or four sentence message, with one of those being a question to start a conversation is usually the way to go. That's what I look for.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 11:03:38 AM

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You speak the truth regarding what I have chosen to write Steven, however, that particular profile is but 5 days old. I joined CM in 2002 and had the same name and an open honest profile until approx.1 week ago when a "submissive" was found out to be nothing more than a family friend playing "spy games" to report back to My daughter. So, for now, all personal info is to be on a need to know basis. Sad what lengths some will go to in order to hurt someone but I have learned the hard way and it has cost Me more than I could have imagined.

~~not new to CM. Just a new name to protect the not so innocent~~

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 11:11:18 AM

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Thank you for the reply LadyPact..........

I always enjoy your input.

~~Not new to CM. Just a new name to protect the not so innocent~~

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 12:25:29 PM

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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: XXMystiqueXX

After getting many emails here from subs/slaves I have to wonder why very few will write something that make them stand out from all others and cause you to notice them. It is almost like Someone needs to hold a class for Subbies101 and teach them how to approach a Dominant to perk her interest, basic manners, what NOT to write in the initial email etc etc........Any of the Ladies care to comment? It does get frustrating!

If someone has read my profile, my journal, and especially my forum posts and initiates a vanilla, nonsexual, non-kinky conversation on a topic of mutual interest that I'm obviously passionate about, that gets my instant positive attention.

Offers of sex, kink, play, "service", etc, from strangers get my professional boilerplate and no personal attention unless they choose a professional relationship with me.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to XXMystiqueXX)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 1:10:44 PM

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Joined: 5/2/2010
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]Yes I tend to give more time to those that I know have REALLY read my profile and possibly my journal.When they introduce themselves by mentioning all they are looking for in the bedroom I usually wish them good luck in their search.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 1:20:05 PM

AngelicaGoddess

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Joined: 10/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

If someone has read my profile, my journal, and especially my forum posts and initiates a vanilla, nonsexual, non-kinky conversation on a topic of mutual interest that I'm obviously passionate about, that gets my instant positive attention.

Offers of sex, kink, play, "service", etc, from strangers get my professional boilerplate and no personal attention unless they choose a professional relationship with me.

I feel the same way, on the forums I am a kinky person and I want to chat with other kinky people, if somebody writes me with what they want, well, there is the option of a professional relationship but I don't feel obliged to indulge everybody in their kink, this is my time off, I am on the forum just because I am interested and somebody writing me, I am not obliged, just like I am not obliged to entertain a guy in a club who sends the waitress over with a drink for me (if he hasn't got the guts to come over and ask me if I would like a drink and what I would like - not a chance anyway).

_____________________________

My Site

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 1:59:02 PM

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Joined: 12/29/2006
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Same. Read my profile, remark on common interests. Be single, sub, sane, local, content, interested, interesting, literate. Intrigue me, make me smile, tell me what you could bring to the relationship, yes, the relationship. Just like vanilla: write me a poem, make me melt.

The longer answer are the many don't's: remember:

If your main kink is on my short list of hard limits, we'll never be compatible.

Don't lie. If I had a dollar for every msg stating, 'yes, I know my profile says I'm a married switch cross-dressing scientologist foot-fetishist, but I'm not really' AND expected me to believe it, I could build my own dungeon.

Mentioning possible sexual compatibiliity is fine, but don't foist your detailed cut'n'paste vanilla-porn-fuelled bottom fantasies in the first message; I'm not a lesbian, man-hater, pro or prostitute who will do your bidding OR be turned on by masochism. If your first msg has 'force me to eat my own cum off your thigh-high boot', 'also serve every man and woman in the stable of a beautiful domme in a latex cut-out catsuit', or 'I don't want to be a sub but I guess I am one, so beat me bloody', it's going to be deleted, with prejudice.

Don't pompously state 'age is just a number' if you're 18 or 68.

Don't diss other dommes in your first message: 'whine, whine, whine, pros, blah blah blah twue dommes, yadda yadda yadda fakes.'

Don't message me if you're still attached. Do us both a favour. I *will* tell your wife.
[To the OP. Sorry that happened. I see the other side of deceit, where my friends' husbands have msg'd me and stated that they're 'single,' unbeknownst to my friends. Creepy.]

And most importantly: Don't waste your first impression with your first msg and your profile.
Edited to agree: yes, and for chrissakes, proof-read and spellcheck so it looks like you made an effort like I do.

< Message edited by Tantriqu -- 1/9/2011 2:24:16 PM >

(in reply to AngelicaGoddess)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 2:00:45 PM

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Joined: 1/8/2011
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What I look for in messages:
Spelling and grammar, aside from capitalization differences (i.e. lowercase "i" and uppercase "You")
Proof they read My profile (there is a codeword listed in it and it is explicitly stated that they are to include that if they want a response)
Honesty
A proposal of some sort of agreement

What will result in Me ignoring a message:
Form letters
Improper spelling/grammar (as in terrible)
Spam
Anything reportable/abusive
People asking me to relocate
Strings of messages leading nowhere after at least 10 exchanges

(in reply to AngelicaGoddess)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 2:27:19 PM

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Wups, sorry, double-post.

< Message edited by Tantriqu -- 1/9/2011 2:28:23 PM >

(in reply to Tantriqu)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 2:41:16 PM

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Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Wups, sorry, double-post.

You could have left it up. I agree so much with what you said that it probably wouldn't have hurt to post it twice. LOL.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Tantriqu)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 3:40:19 PM

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Joined: 12/29/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You could have left it up. I agree so much with what you said that it probably wouldn't have hurt to post it twice. LOL.

Thanks!

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 6:37:00 PM

MistressLilliana

Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
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The ones I notice most are ones where they address me by name (or screen name) and include manners such as opening with, "How are you today?" I also tend to read those who explain about themselves and what they are looking for. I do look at their profiles but to hear it from them and sometimes more in depth is nice.

I do not go for one-liners: "I want to be your slave."

I do not go for those who seem like stalkers, posting over and over and over again, saying how much they will submit to me andwho must I mean to them when they don't even know me yet.

I do not go for those who are demanding. I am the Dom not the Sub and I will not be ordered. Use your manners and I have no problem answering questions.

And I certainly do NOT go for those who want to meet me RIGHT AWAY. I am looking for a true connection and I want to feel safe and so should my Sub. You can do a great deal of communication online, getting to know one another, before making the decision to meet. You shouldn't expect SEX on the first meeting either, we are not prostitutes.

(in reply to XXMystiqueXX)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/9/2011 6:52:12 PM

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Here's my contribution to the course:

As someone who sometimes writes introduction letters to dominants, I have one simple thing I do that really helps to get a positive response back (besides courtesy, grammar checking, humbleness, and such, which should be givens). I ask a few thoughtful questions that prove to the dominant that I have read her (or his) profile very carefully and and am really interested in knowing more about certain aspects of themselves. I also say a few things that let them know how I "see" them, how I percieve their presence. This latter is not empty flattery, it's telling them about the impression they've made upon me personally and why I have been moved to write them in particular (instead of all the other dominants out there). I only do this with profiles that strike me as outstanding, that I am really interested in, or that seem unusually compatible.

If you limit yourself only to writing the women that intensely hold your interest, you'll write them a much better e-mail that if you are playing a numbers game and that much better e-mail is going to make it a little more likely that this fantastic person will respond back to you.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to MistressLilliana)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/10/2011 12:18:55 AM

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: XXMystiqueXX

You speak the truth regarding what I have chosen to write Steven, however, that particular profile is but 5 days old. I joined CM in 2002 and had the same name and an open honest profile until approx.1 week ago when a "submissive" was found out to be nothing more than a family friend playing "spy games" to report back to My daughter. So, for now, all personal info is to be on a need to know basis. Sad what lengths some will go to in order to hurt someone but I have learned the hard way and it has cost Me more than I could have imagined.

~~not new to CM. Just a new name to protect the not so innocent~~

You and I. We should start a club.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to XXMystiqueXX)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/10/2011 3:21:16 PM

Posts: 41
Joined: 1/4/2011
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Sad to say I think we would have more than a few members. *sigh* I have heard of similar situations when I used to run our local munch. Just never thought it "could" hit home~~or hit so hard. Let Me know when the first meeting is and I will be there! :)

~~Not new to CM. Just a new name to protect the Not so Innocent~~

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: What type of Introduction would make you notice a s... - 1/11/2011 8:22:55 AM

Posts: 23
Joined: 9/28/2010
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Speaking for myself, the way I approach it is thus:

1. read their profile, then go back and re-read it before sending a message
2. be polite and respectful, a short message seems appropriate until you know they have an interest
3. do not jump into the sexual or fetishistic. saying i wish to serve is one thing, saying I want a hypno-domme sadist controlling mistress into this and this and this is another.
4. common sense, that rarest of commonalities

(in reply to XXMystiqueXX)

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