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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 5:22:39 AM

VaguelyCurious

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Hence people telling you to go to munches, where people don't behave like that.

We don't make this advice up out of nowhere.

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 5:23:46 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
We don't make this advice up out of nowhere.

I knew I was doing something wrong.

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 5:24:20 AM

QueenMistress4U

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In reply to your statement " if I do bother trying to message some dominant girl, what’s the best way to do it?"

Start by saying hello, and being polite and not pushy. Speak your mind and what attracted you to her profile.
Be natural and humorous where appropriate. It goes a long way! ;)

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 5:31:44 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ziroic
And I know a lot of dominant ladies have said how they get frustrated reading tonnes of one or two sentence mail . . .

Ziroic, that's exactly the point . . . they get a lot of messages, the large bulk of which will be waste-of-time 'wankmails' (as they've come to be known). These are short, stupid, pointless or even nasty mails that look more like bits of graffiti than anything else. They make women's private messaging here a miserable, depressing experience in a way that it's impossible really to understand till you've seen it.

Me, my attitude is to treat my first message to a woman much like the first bit of conversation you might have with one at a party or at the bar. It's not a lot more than the written equivalent of a friendly nod and 'hello'. Just a few of lines, saying something friendly and which shows that you've read her profile (something the senders of wankmail never do). And then leave it at that. In short: don't invest too little, but don't invest too much, either.

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 5:32:18 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
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You received, among your best advice on page 1 of your post/replies

quote:

isoLadyOwner
Distinguish yourself by losing egocentricity.
describe how you can please a Domina.

If a profile looks like its too good to be true by using fetish model pictures and/or the profile focuses on your desires then its probably fake (at least as far as lifestyle).

You seem still stuck in your own way/head, by insisting life ought to proceed as you wish...

quote:

Ugh, it doesn't half seem difficult to meet genuine people, even here.

The only people I've managed to have a decent conversation with are ones that insist I either join up with a dodgey-looking websites by giving away my credit card details, or to send them money to a specific address in order to cover delivery costs because they insist on sending pictures via conventional royal mail. As if an obviously purpose-made “domme4slave” email address and their actual home address is all the proof I want.

And I know a lot of dominant ladies have said how they get frustrated reading tonnes of one or two sentence mail, but it’s surely 10x worse for males as well. You know, I actually take a lot of time reading somebody’s profile to give what I think is a very thoughtful message, which either doesn’t get a reply, or does, but only demanding money from somebody who could easily be some male scammer or whatever. It’s just incredibly time-wasting and annoying. And therefore the effort people put in sending messages is surely going to decrease more and more

Poor you?! Why don't things happen easily, since everyone assures you, you're attractive enough? M

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:08:18 AM

ziroic

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Not exactly what I meant. I was just pointing out that websites like this have a big problem where, if somebody wants to scam other people, it's very easy for them to do so. I wasn't trying to be arrogant or rude.

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:18:04 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ziroic

Not exactly what I meant. I was just pointing out that websites like this have a big problem where, if somebody wants to scam other people, it's very easy for them to do so.

No. It's "easy" for them to do so if, and only if, the "target" is a complete moron. Don't send money and you can't lose money.

What is beginning to annoy me are the number of "fake exposers" that have sprung up of late; these tragic saddos think it's their life's work to police CM on everyone's behalf by setting up profiles which purport to "expose the fakes" - I've reported half a dozen of these idiots of late. How I wish the train-spotters would get a fucking life.

The latest one is whinging about a profile where the recipient doesn't reply to CMails - big fucking whoop.

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:32:47 AM

ziroic

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I know it is. Sorry, I'm just saying it's a shame that websites like these that have a good aim for bringing people together that usually wouldn't meet, get ruined by people either looking for an elaborate wank or free money.

< Message edited by ziroic -- 2/3/2011 6:33:19 AM >

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:36:14 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: ziroic

Not exactly what I meant. I was just pointing out that websites like this have a big problem where, if somebody wants to scam other people, it's very easy for them to do so.

No. It's "easy" for them to do so if, and only if, the "target" is a complete moron. Don't send money and you can't lose money.

What is beginning to annoy me are the number of "fake exposers" that have sprung up of late; these tragic saddos think it's their life's work to police CM on everyone's behalf by setting up profiles which purport to "expose the fakes" - I've reported half a dozen of these idiots of late. How I wish the train-spotters would get a fucking life.

The latest one is whinging about a profile where the recipient doesn't reply to CMails - big fucking whoop.

darlin.. this is NOTHING "of late"... it's an ongoing thing.. has been on all the interwebs, for ages.

*hugs gropes*

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:38:57 AM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ziroic

I know it is. Sorry, I'm just saying it's a shame that websites like these that have a good aim for bringing people together that usually wouldn't meet, get ruined by people either looking for an elaborate wank or free money.

Nothing is "ruined" for me. I use my common sense, my instinct (which is kinda the same thing), and my (admittedly limited to some degree.. since I do not know EVERY human) knowledge of human psychology...

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:44:46 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

darlin.. this is NOTHING "of late"... it's an ongoing thing.. has been on all the interwebs, for ages.

Maybe they've only just really going in the UK sections then ... there was one serial saddo who used to get banned regularly, then start up under a different name. Now that twat's back, but there seem to be a load more who have jumped on the SadWagon.

If anyone involved in doing that happens to read this, could you please, and don't take this the wrong way, fuck off and die, soonest, preferably of something painful.

And I mean that in a caring way.

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:48:13 AM

GreedyTop

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Liar. you are just like me.. ya want the twatwaffle to fuck off and die ;)

(oopps.. sorry. Perhaps a bit presumptious of me.. ?)

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:51:00 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Liar. you are just like me.. ya want the twatwaffle to fuck off and die ;)

I'm prepared to help them do it, if that helps.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
(oopps.. sorry. Perhaps a bit presumptious of me.. ?)

Somewhat. But I forgive you.

< Message edited by RapierFugue -- 2/3/2011 7:15:06 AM >

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 6:55:05 AM

GreedyTop

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cool.

Care for some strawberry wine, locally produced? I understand that it is potent...

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 7:14:43 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
Care for some strawberry wine, locally produced? I understand that it is potent...

Doesn't appeal I'm afraid, but thanks for the offer.

I'm fairly particular about what I drink ... fruit wines are normally the work of satan :)

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 7:34:29 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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ok,.Fair enough.

But I understand tha FL has some great vineyards..

I wouldnt know without a wine connisueuor (or however the hell it is spelled) to inform me).

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 8:23:31 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

But I understand tha FL has some great vineyards..

Vineyards yes, great ... but strawberries? In a wine? Noooooo thank you :)

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 10:49:44 AM

cloudboy

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You can't hit the green if you don't swing the club. You have astutely noticed how things work here, so I suggest you that let your own experiences tell you if its a waste of time or not.

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/3/2011 11:25:08 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ziroic

Ugh, it doesn't half seem difficult to meet genuine people, even here.

The only people I've managed to have a decent conversation with are ones that insist I either join up with a dodgey-looking websites by giving away my credit card details, or to send them money to a specific address in order to cover delivery costs because they insist on sending pictures via conventional royal mail. As if an obviously purpose-made “domme4slave” email address and their actual home address is all the proof I want. It just seems, so, so, so ridiculous. There's no element of trust at all. All there seems to be is frustration, from both dominants and submissive almost entirely caused by lack of trust (rightly so due to all the scams and poor effort people put in) and the rude way a lot of people seem to go about things.

Not sure where this came from but there are a few points worth mentioning.

Let's be fair here. Do you trust everybody who just happens to send you an email on the internet? It's really not a good idea. You want proof of a home address? In My opinion, you're not going to get folks to give you that. Don't give people yours, either.

quote:

And I know a lot of dominant ladies have said how they get frustrated reading tonnes of one or two sentence mail, but it’s surely 10x worse for males as well. You know, I actually take a lot of time reading somebody’s profile to give what I think is a very thoughtful message, which either doesn’t get a reply, or does, but only demanding money from somebody who could easily be some male scammer or whatever. It’s just incredibly time-wasting and annoying. And therefore the effort people put in sending messages is surely going to decrease more and more :\

There are a lot of threads on advice on how to send a good first contact email. You can look at it as a waste of time or the investment of time that you are going to have to make. Yes, you'll probably have a higher number of profiles that are set to make money because of the age group that you are most likely targeting. Since it is the age group that you are, you probably won't be able to avoid that.

For crap mail that you're receiving, that has a lot to do with being a "new member" and that covers the first sixty days. Most new folks aren't familiar with the reporting procedures and such, so that makes you an easy target.

They've made some really good improvements around here regarding spam and scam mail. I get so much less junk email since they were put in place. If anything, that's actually made the percentage of "good" mail go up.

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RE: Should I be here? And what can I do here? - 2/4/2011 1:38:05 AM

Entropment

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/1/2007
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original poster,

it's mostly about self confidence. be playfully flirty. your message doesn't need to incorporate several hours of research - as long as it'll get a positive reaction out of yer target audience, it's all good.

presumably you are able to tell the fakes and the crazies from the sort of people you'd like to be associating with? yes? so there's no point moaning about it. get on with it. contact the people that seem worth contacting and that's all.

also, you've got a lot of 'vanilla' lasses about you at uni, presumably. ain't nothing wrong with introducing the ones you like (and/or who happen to like ye back) to the 'd/s' and kinky stuff. or try 'vanilla' dating websites.

and remember a little bit of pluck goes a long way.

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