DarkSteven
Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008 Status: offline
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Zechriel, I'm usually not this blunt. But break off the relationship NOW, and don't look back. 1. When I read your profile, I see a little girl type of submissive. One who needs to please, and needs to hear "good girl". One who desperately needs a place where she can feel safe and loved. He wants kinky sex. You're on two different paths. 2. You're correct. A Master sets the pace. He is doing so with no regard whatsoever for your emotional state. You have clearly communicated to him that you are scared and that you feel he's moving too fast. His response is to punish you for, essentially, safewording. He is moving too fast. 3. The fact that he's moving so fast makes me wonder why. If he expects a five year relationship, an extra month or two won't make much difference. If he's used to having his relationships blow apart quickly, he's pushing fast right now. Whatever the reason, a good Dom does not break his toys, and he's breaking you now. 4. He sounds abusive. Punishing for having fears and legitimate issues is abusive. Not listening to a sub is abusive. Not caring about a sub's well being is abusive. 5. He's making a mess. After the breakup, likely within the next two months, you'll be afraid to trust men again, and emotionally ripped up inside. Not his problem. 6. I've dealt with the same situation a few times, with a sub who was scared/insecure in herself sexually due to past experiences. It's simple to deal with that - just move slowly, give her lots of positive feedback, and be alert to signs I'm moving too fast, and stop for the moment. Once the message is communicated that I am confident we'll get where I want to go, and the pace isn't a major concern, then she relaxes and trusts me. Not only isn't your Dom doing that, but he doesn't intend to. He either has no clue what he's doing or else cares so little about you that he doesn't care if you're living in terror or not. Dump the guy. You can do much better.
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"You women.... The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs... Quit fretting. We men love you."
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