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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:15:34 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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No, you berated the women, which is much more your style, if I recall correctly.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:19:47 PM   
lamale


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I was unaware that all the women that posted are in relationships... but whatever.


You know what would be really nice, lady with 24,876 posts? If you actually bothered to read and understand what I wrote. I did not say what you attributed to me. In fact, I italicized to stress the opposite.

Kinda proves my point, though. You didn't understand what I wrote, commented anyway, then ended with a little dismissive "whatever".

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:25:54 PM   
JanahX


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Oh shit - am I missing out on something here?!? .... hmmm - Im going to have to go back and read where this started.

I cant wait.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:27:42 PM   
lamale


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

No, you berated the women, which is much more your style, if I recall correctly.


The women I described deserve berating, although you will notice I singled out no one.

What, exactly, do you know about "my style"? Nothing, I would venture. Not a thing. I adore women, always have.

Your recall seems to be faulty.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:28:14 PM   
sexyred1


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Oh, ok, we all get it. You are a frustrated married man who decided to pop into the forums to unleash your frustration on the women here, cool.

Before you act all snarky to LadyH above who always gives honest advice and opinions, regardless of her post count, think before you post.

Your post was offensive, and you have no reading comprehension. No one ragged on the OP, instead, we gave our opinions, since ya know, pretty much most of us are actual mature women, who are not currently in relationships, and some are.

Whether we are in relationships or not, has no bearing on being allowed to post OUR OPINIONS.

So calm the fuck down, sparky.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:34:35 PM   
JanahX


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LMFAO - dood, going back and reading your dribble one thing stuck out like a sore thumb -

quote:

As far as I'm concerned, you don't have a problem, they do. Whatever your legal kink, follow it to see where it leads. You have a thing for one-armed albino midgets? Who the fuck says that's wrong, especially if you can find a consenting one? This is, for the most part, a kinky sex dating site, not the Christian Singles Registry, Helping You Find The Lifetime Mate Jesus Intends For You. Thousands of women here post naked pictures of themselves with items in their asses, sometimes rather large items. Feel free to look for what arouses you and reject that which doesn't.

I'm approached on occasion by younger women who are forthright about wanting an older Daddy to play with, and for some reason, instead of feeling offended, being wanted by a hardbody half my age makes my dick instantly hard. Imagine that.


OP - before you take this HNG word to heart, please go and read my MEN FASCINATED WITH THEIR DICKS thread in GENERAL BDSM area. The last thing you want to do if you want to find a woman of whatever sort - is listen to some geek like this, who obviously never gets out from behind his laptop.

Listen to the WOMENZ - They are giving you insight to what women like and want. Not this dork.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:35:24 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14415
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Pretty much, Greedy. And I was unaware that all the women that posted are in relationships... but whatever. Haters gonna hate. The OP has shown he's not a shallow idiot. All's right with the world.


Same here. And I'm gonna give points to the OP, because even though I think there were some communication issues, he stayed calm and intelligent.

We had no issue with the dating an older woman part, it was the approach that most guys take that we were warning him about.


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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:38:47 PM   
sunshinemiss


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With all due respect, I didn't quite get what you say you are saying either. Frankly, your post here is rather vinegary for my taste. As is often the case, people speak bluntly and sometimes the message is unheard because it is unwanted. The OP however was really appropriate. He clarified, explained his position, never lost his cool - and was not bitter. I appreciate this particular example of the very reason I tend to *like* younger men. I would say a number of the ladies would be willing to maintain conversation with him. Without that, there's no chance of getting any action. I checked your profile and your age. Again, an example of why I don't generally feel interested in men closer to my age. I don't like the bitterness that you've exhibited. Not my personal cup of tea.

Your final paragraph shows what has been said by the ladies. Women gs/ymmv don't want to be seen as only one facet of themselves. They want to be seen as all of who they are - just as men generally do. Imagine if that young woman you spoke of said, "You know, my current boyfriend is on a business trip. You'll do." Would it make your "dick instantly hard"? Perhaps it would. Perhaps you want to be seen as useless except for the age on your ID card and the grey at your temples. That's fine. I think most men don't want to be "you'll do since there is nothing better around" fodder. I could be wrong.

good luck,
sunshine


quote:

ORIGINAL: lamale

Wow.

I've been scanning these forums for a while, and it's been quite some time since I read as much bullshit as I have in this thread.

OP, in case you haven't yet figured it out, getting opinions from some of the women on this site who are in relationships is utterly worthless. And in a counter-intuitive twist, the longer they've been here, the more posts they have, the less tolerant they are of any opinions but their own. They've seen it all, and have no problem diagnosing what's wrong with you, even if you didn't ask for or want that.

They are, for the most part, jaded, sanctimonious, self-satisfied, dismissive and mean. Their opinion is everything, and if you dare to disagree, they attack in numbers. You can feel the smugness dripping off the page.

They also adore complimenting each other as they savage the newer people.

It's like sticking your arm into a tank of starving piranhas.

Sounding familiar?

As far as I'm concerned, you don't have a problem, they do. Whatever your legal kink, follow it to see where it leads. You have a thing for one-armed albino midgets? Who the fuck says that's wrong, especially if you can find a consenting one? This is, for the most part, a kinky sex dating site, not the Christian Singles Registry, Helping You Find The Lifetime Mate Jesus Intends For You. Thousands of women here post naked pictures of themselves with items in their asses, sometimes rather large items. Feel free to look for what arouses you and reject that which doesn't.

I'm approached on occasion by younger women who are forthright about wanting an older Daddy to play with, and for some reason, instead of feeling offended, being wanted by a hardbody half my age makes my dick instantly hard. Imagine that.

Yes, yes, crude, I know. I'm sure it would be so much more meaningful if they got to know the real me first, but, well, sometimes it's about the play and not the deep psychological meaning of it all. Especially initially.

Approaching an older woman with "You are lovely, and I would really enjoy playing with someone who has their act together and embraces their femininity they way you do" can work wonders. You don't have to mention age, which apparently makes the older women on the forums clench up. Your interest will be obvious.





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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:46:07 PM   
Timonat


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Hm....what have I started?:P

In a way I am glad I have sparked a lively discussion which seems to be drawing people of different backgrounds and opinions, but, I think misunderstandings are making tempers flare. While I appreciate people "taking my side", as it were, I really did not want there to be sides for people to take. I myself am to blame, at least in part, as I probably got defensive and was the one who started the whole "argument" by arguing my position, rather than just accepting that some people just do not approve, for whatever reason. So lets discuss the issue, which seems a complex one, rather than attacking each other for what opinions we have on it


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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:50:11 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Timonat

Hm....what have I started?:P

In a way I am glad I have sparked a lively discussion which seems to be drawing people of different backgrounds and opinions, but, I think misunderstandings are making tempers flare. While I appreciate people "taking my side", as it were, I really did not want there to be sides for people to take. I myself am to blame, at least in part, as I probably got defensive and was the one who started the whole "argument" by arguing my position, rather than just accepting that some people just do not approve, for whatever reason. So lets discuss the issue, which seems a complex one, rather than attacking each other for what opinions we have on it




Nah, you stayed calm. And again, we're not disapproving of being involved with an older woman. Just keep in mind that how you approach her will effect your success rate.

Many, many guys reduce us to something one dimensional, when we're not and don't like being view that way. As long as you approach them as a human being and don't resort to that dreaded opening line " I like older women", you'll do fine.


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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:50:57 PM   
lamale


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Joined: 3/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Oh, ok, we all get it. You are a frustrated married man who decided to pop into the forums to unleash your frustration on the women here, cool.

Before you act all snarky to LadyH above who always gives honest advice and opinions, regardless of her post count, think before you post.

Your post was offensive, and you have no reading comprehension. No one ragged on the OP, instead, we gave our opinions, since ya know, pretty much most of us are actual mature women, who are not currently in relationships, and some are.

Whether we are in relationships or not, has no bearing on being allowed to post OUR OPINIONS.

So calm the fuck down, sparky.


Married? Yes. Frustrated? Not in the least.

Well, perhaps a smidge about the things I mentioned in my initial post, but otherwise, I'm a pretty contented person.

My reading comprehension is superb, far superior to yours, apparently. If you think no one ragged on the OP, who repeatedly felt he had to defend himself (and said so), you are part of the problem.

And you are certainly free to post your opinions, as am I.

Telling someone to calm down who is already calm is projecting your anger onto them. And calling someone "sparky" to attempt to put them in their place, has that actually worked for you up till now?

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:51:22 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Timonat, you've handled yourself very well, if a bit stubbornly. ;) it's a touchy subject, and whenever a man asks for a woman's opinion and then tries to silence her by telling her she's wrong? Results are predictable.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 5:56:53 PM   
GreedyTop


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Tim... I think that you have at this point taken on board that women (generally speaking) do not like to be approached as a Number (age). lamale made a point that I think illustrates what the women on this thread have been saying (and I am pretty sure you've gotten):

quote:

Approaching an older woman with "You are lovely, and I would really enjoy playing with someone who has their act together and embraces their femininity they way you do" can work wonders. You don't have to mention age, which apparently makes the older women on the forums clench up. Your interest will be obvious.
.

As others have said, you have handled yourself well, here. Well done:) it's nice to see someone who can HEAR what is being said :) I wish you well in your search!

ETA: that does not discount that fact that the rest of what lamlae said is total shite.

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 8/17/2012 5:57:59 PM >


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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 6:41:46 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

I've been scanning these forums for a while, and it's been quite some time since I read as much bullshit as I have in this thread.

OP, in case you haven't yet figured it out, getting opinions from some of the women on this site who are in relationships is utterly worthless. And in a counter-intuitive twist, the longer they've been here, the more posts they have, the less tolerant they are of any opinions but their own. They've seen it all, and have no problem diagnosing what's wrong with you, even if you didn't ask for or want that.

They are, for the most part, jaded, sanctimonious, self-satisfied, dismissive and mean. Their opinion is everything, and if you dare to disagree, they attack in numbers. You can feel the smugness dripping off the page.


As a woman who has a high post count and who has posted on this thread, I suggest you pick particular posts with which to disagree. I said:

You seem articulate and intelligent; don't lead with "older women" and you'll do fine.

My recollection is that the second part of that sentence has been the gist of this thread, but feel free to point out how I'm wrong by quoting posts.



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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 6:49:10 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
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This thread is...



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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 6:50:02 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lamale

I've been scanning these forums for a while, and it's been quite some time since I read as much bullshit as I have in this thread.


I think this post may be where the thread took a turn for the worse.

quote:

OP, in case you haven't yet figured it out, getting opinions from some of the women on this site who are in relationships is utterly worthless.


This didn't technically point fingers, but could easily be read as doing so.

quote:

And in a counter-intuitive twist, the longer they've been here, the more posts they have, the less tolerant they are of any opinions but their own.


What's counter-intuitive about this?

In my experience, this is how most human social interaction arenas work, and I was pleasantly surprised to find this place more civilized than most of the net when I came here. Now, for all I know, you may be the hottest thing since sliced bread, the sharpest scalpel in the drawer and rich enough to make Monsanto blush, to name but a few qualities that might normally count in your favor with the ladies. Right here on this board, however, it is your posting history and the contents of your posts that will determine what people's reactions will be, as well as their past experiences.

This means if your behavior resembles a type of poster that has been a recurring pain in the ass, the responses will be based on an assumption that you'll turn out to be one, too. If, on the other hand, your behavior resembles a type of poster that tends to become a valued member of the community, you'll get a different response. This, too, is an entirely normal pattern of behavior. Why you would assume people here would be dramatically different from the rest of the species is somewhat unclear to me.

quote:

They've seen it all, and have no problem diagnosing what's wrong with you, even if you didn't ask for or want that.


If he's asking for feedback, he's going to get a grab-bag of it, and everyone's going to have their own take on what's what.

If he's saying he has a problem, people are going to theorize about what it is, and if his problem involves a whole group of people, it's likely the various hypotheses will revolve around how he relates to the group, rather than what characteristics the group might have. Empirically, it is a sound assumption than someone perceiving a problem with a group is failing to perceive something about themselves that generates the unfavorable interaction with the group in question, and misattributing the problem to the group. This isn't always the case, but with solid evidence that it's a common flaw in humans, it's a good starting point if you don't know some person. Of course, it's also to be expected that anyone in the group in question will be doubly inclined to look for problems with the individual, rather than the group, for the exact same reason.

I fail to see where a criticism can be levelled here that doesn't apply equally to most of humanity.

quote:

They are, for the most part, jaded, sanctimonious, self-satisfied, dismissive and mean.


Hey, this sounds like me.

Not that I'm implying the OP is doing anything wrong, but it does strike me as somewhat of a potentially harsh learning experience to bring a thin skin to a place that has a major population of people who get their jollies making people cry and scream for hours on end.

Just saying.

quote:

Their opinion is everything, and if you dare to disagree, they attack in numbers. You can feel the smugness dripping off the page. They also adore complimenting each other as they savage the newer people. It's like sticking your arm into a tank of starving piranhas.


This sounds a lot like the Internet, except with a lot of positive behavior thrown in.

It happens. It doesn't happen as often as I've seen elsewhere.

quote:

Feel free to look for what arouses you and reject that which doesn't.


Given the wide array of things I've discussed on here, I would say it shows more than a little tolerance that people even speak to me anymore.

I happen to like women of all physically mature ages. I don't like them for their maturity or youth. I like them for the qualities they have. Now, if I were going to plastinate them and stick them in a display case, or hang their head on the wall, I might want to stay in the physical prime range. But I'm out to live with them, occasionally fucking their brains out or making them cry me a river in as literal a fashion as I can manage. That means I need to focus on what they bring to the table as persons. Making me hard is, now that junior is back on the team, as simple as the right body language at the right time. And I don't care if you're eighteen or eighty if the first thing out of your mouth when I wake up is "you know that thing we talked about yesterday...?"

The hard part is the stuff that makes the chemistry work.

It doesn't matter if you're an olympic athlete and top model both, if the phrase "bratty princess" touches your lips without a sneer, it better be part of an apology or an invitation to reformat your brain, else this isn't going to work. Conversely, "I just showed my daughter how to do elliptic cryptanalysis" is going to make me put down whatever I'm doing and listen attentively until the wide grin starts bugging you enough to ask what I'm thinking. Similarly, "that mind control thing is working, Sir, I can't say any words containing a sound twixt D and F without climaxing now." will be quite enamoring.

That's the stuff the OP needs to focus on: what he actually wants.

If it's age he wants, he should say he's got an age fetish. It's not uncommon. He'll find someone. But since he's going to compete with others, he'll have to then focus on what he can offer them in return for indulging his fetish. Because chances are the women here aren't looking to fetishize their age, for the most part, but rather want to find a partner that is interested in all of them as a person. Submissive women are usually very accomodating if they know you value their entire being.

How about offering the OP advice on that instead of lashing out at posters here?

More to the point... address the lashing-out when it happens, not when you're answering a different topic?

quote:

I'm approached on occasion by younger women who are forthright about wanting an older Daddy to play with, and for some reason, instead of feeling offended, being wanted by a hardbody half my age makes my dick instantly hard. Imagine that.


Everyone likes to be appreciated or desired. Never met a woman that didn't. Nor a man.

The question is what is appreciated or desired. Even men rarely like it when only one side of them is appreciated or desired, and the rest is casually ignored. That's how it will be seen if he focuses on age instead of what you mention next:

quote:

Approaching an older woman with "You are lovely, and I would really enjoy playing with someone who has their act together and embraces their femininity they way you do" can work wonders. You don't have to mention age, which apparently makes the older women on the forums clench up. Your interest will be obvious.


This could have been your whole post, and it would have been great.

I would have complimented you, and there would be no dripping smugness to wipe up.

IWYW,
— Aswad.



_____________________________

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to lamale)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 6:51:45 PM   
lamale


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I've been scanning these forums for a while, and it's been quite some time since I read as much bullshit as I have in this thread.

OP, in case you haven't yet figured it out, getting opinions from some of the women on this site who are in relationships is utterly worthless. And in a counter-intuitive twist, the longer they've been here, the more posts they have, the less tolerant they are of any opinions but their own. They've seen it all, and have no problem diagnosing what's wrong with you, even if you didn't ask for or want that.

They are, for the most part, jaded, sanctimonious, self-satisfied, dismissive and mean. Their opinion is everything, and if you dare to disagree, they attack in numbers. You can feel the smugness dripping off the page.


As a woman who has a high post count and who has posted on this thread, I suggest you pick particular posts with which to disagree. I said:

You seem articulate and intelligent; don't lead with "older women" and you'll do fine.

My recollection is that the second part of that sentence has been the gist of this thread, but feel free to point out how I'm wrong by quoting posts.




In fact your reply in particular was one of the good ones. Thank you for taking the time to post a constructive solution without feeling the need to first tear down the OP.

I was very careful in my original post to NOT condemn all replies and posters, despite someone accusing me of doing exactly that.

Some of you are great.

Some of you are less so.

That shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.

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Profile   Post #: 137
RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 6:57:55 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
*adores Aswad*

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Profile   Post #: 138
RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 7:08:32 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline
That, Aswad, was beautiful

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Profile   Post #: 139
RE: A mature submissive? - 8/17/2012 7:13:34 PM   
lamale


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline
Well thought out post, Aswad. Thank you.

I don't visit the forums trolling for partners, and I don't feel part of the "community", having been attacked here several times for being married, including in this thread. It's a weak-minded and irrelevant argument, but someone who has no other rational response inevitably makes it. Thanks for being the one this time, Red.

So in general, I drop in, I read, very occasionally I post, I leave; what the people here think of me is relatively unimportant.

I do get annoyed when someone with almost 25,000 posts says that berating women is my style when they don't know me and can't possibly have any evidence to support that because it's simply untrue. It was a slimy thing to say, and if she has any class at all, she'll apologize at some point.

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Profile   Post #: 140
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