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Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/2/2013 4:57:04 PM

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I am a male submissive but I am not into the whole chastity thing. I'm probably not considered a "true" submissive, because I believe the sub has needs that should be met too... My version of BDSM is a two-way street, about dual pleasures, not just the dom's. I don't need a carrot on a stick to do things for a woman. The fact that I would do things without conditioning or coercion is even more challenging I think.

True, I masturbate frequently for pleasure and relaxation. I enjoy receiving and giving pleasure too great to be in chastity. BDSM play is mostly sexual for me, it's not stand alone as some purists practice it. I once knew a sub female who was into knife play and submission, but she claimed it was not about sex. For me it is. I apologize if the tone of this question sounds angry. I just feel that there are no set rules of BDSM, and that people are able to incorporate or exclude different elements into their play.

Are there dominant women out there who don't like chastity, and don't use it on their subs? Or am I just kidding myself? Thank you in advance for your responses!

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/2/2013 5:08:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fallsdeep404

I am a male submissive but I am not into the whole chastity thing. I'm probably not considered a "true" submissive, because I believe the sub has needs that should be met too... My version of BDSM is a two-way street, about dual pleasures, not just the dom's. I don't need a carrot on a stick to do things for a woman. The fact that I would do things without conditioning or coercion is even more challenging I think.

True, I masturbate frequently for pleasure and relaxation. I enjoy receiving and giving pleasure too great to be in chastity. BDSM play is mostly sexual for me, it's not stand alone as some purists practice it. I once knew a sub female who was into knife play and submission, but she claimed it was not about sex. For me it is. I apologize if the tone of this question sounds angry. I just feel that there are no set rules of BDSM, and that people are able to incorporate or exclude different elements into their play.

Are there dominant women out there who don't like chastity, and don't use it on their subs? Or am I just kidding myself? Thank you in advance for your responses!

First off, watch out for people who use terms like "true" sub. Most of them are HNGs of either sex.

Second, male chastity is primarily a male fetish, as in the men into it WAY outnumber the women into it. For evidence of this, check out the membership of any of the many male chastity groups on FL. You'll go for pages sometimes without seeing a link to a woman's profile.

Third, most people will tell you that ANY intimate relationship, whether it be dom/sub, top/bottom, male dom, female dom or vanilla, that does not take care of the needs of BOTH (or all in the case of poly relationships) people involved, will not last long. There's a reason why most of the "doms" who say in their profile, "It's ALL about me," are here looking year, after year, after year.

(in reply to fallsdeep404)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/2/2013 5:31:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fallsdeep404
Are there dominant women out there who don't like chastity, and don't use it on their subs?

Many more than who do.

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RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/2/2013 6:41:43 PM

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I couldn't say anything about majority. I don't use it. Yes, if I want to have orgasm control for a period of time, I'll incorporate that, but I've never been the type to employ a chastity device. I figure if I say don't masturbate for X amount of days*****, if you (general you) need a device to obey, we're not a good match anyway.

***** For all you know, I want you 'built up' for a particular scene.

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RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/2/2013 6:53:11 PM

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I don't do chastity at all. It is something requested frequently, but I don't entertain it. I don't care for it, and figure, if I tell you, don't touch it for a week, you shouldn't. M

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(in reply to fallsdeep404)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/2/2013 8:22:38 PM

MistressDarkArt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fallsdeep404

I don't need a carrot on a stick to do things for a woman. The fact that I would do things without conditioning or coercion is even more challenging I think.

Yes, I would agree with your statement. That said, there is a type of man whose willingness to serve in nonsexual ways directly coincides with whether or not his balls are blue. Sometimes chastity is an effective method for getting stuff done if you're stuck with one of those. However, I choose partners with your philosophy so I don't have to be bothered with all that. I MAY restrict orgasm for a period of time to build up the experience I have planned. A little delayed gratification never hurt anyone.

Welcome to the boards, by the way. Excellent first post!

(in reply to fallsdeep404)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/2/2013 8:40:37 PM

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(fast reply)

I just got done responding to an article on FL on this very topic. I am not interested in chastity.

Wickad

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/2/2013 9:24:19 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fallsdeep404
I believe the sub has needs that should be met too... My version of BDSM is a two-way street, about dual pleasures, not just the dom's.

This ^^^^ is how I feel also.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fallsdeep404
I just feel that there are no set rules of BDSM, and that people are able to incorporate or exclude different elements into their play.

Ditto.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fallsdeep404Are there dominant women out there who don't like chastity, and don't use it on their subs? Or am I just kidding myself?

I did it once with a sub who already had his own CB6000, just so I could have the experience and find out whether I liked it or not, but now I choose not to get involved in chastity. Besides, I like sex and CBT too much to keep the goodies locked away all the time.

NBMG

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(in reply to fallsdeep404)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/4/2013 10:42:30 AM

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I use it with my sub, but not on a regular occasion, for a number of reasons, we both get a kick out of it, but its not a hard rule.
If I were to have another sub, it would not be a deal breaker, there are so many pleasures and tortures to play with, Like LP and NBMG its a fun toool, but I wouldnt want to do it 24/7/365 as its just TOO restricting for me sexually.

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(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/4/2013 1:42:59 PM

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Depends on the sub. I rarely use a device. When I do it is only after intense begging for it. Occasionally I require no masturbation or sex for some period of time, but only if it is not a hard boundary for the submissive. I believe the whole D/s relationship is for enjoyment - by both the top and the bottom.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/4/2013 8:07:41 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
it would not be a deal breaker, there are so many pleasures and tortures to play with, Like LP and NBMG its a fun toool, but I wouldnt want to do it 24/7/365 as its just TOO restricting for me sexually.

Why did my mind wander to guy locked in chastity while I apply a strap on to another body part & pleasure myself. Ah well happy chastity suppose

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(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/4/2013 8:25:35 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Why did my mind wander to guy locked in chastity while I apply a strap on to another body part & pleasure myself. Ah well happy chastity suppose

That just sounds SO yummy to me!!!!

NBMG

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RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/4/2013 10:02:01 PM

PrincessDonna11

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Does that include orgasm denial?????

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RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/5/2013 3:39:47 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
it would not be a deal breaker, there are so many pleasures and tortures to play with, Like LP and NBMG its a fun toool, but I wouldnt want to do it 24/7/365 as its just TOO restricting for me sexually.

Why did my mind wander to guy locked in chastity while I apply a strap on to another body part & pleasure myself. Ah well happy chastity suppose

exactly:) I like to "swtitch things around....sometimes you wanna remove the chastity, sometimes you want it in place...being predictable has never been a strong choice regarding enjoyment:)

_____________________________

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\(•_•)
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(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
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(in reply to theRose4U)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/6/2013 1:53:41 PM

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Thank you for your answers everyone. I feel much better!

(in reply to fallsdeep404)

RE: Do a majority of Mistresses use chastity - 3/6/2013 4:00:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fallsdeep404
Are there dominant women out there who don't like chastity, and don't use it on their subs? Or am I just kidding myself? Thank you in advance for your responses!

You may be running into the fact that a lot of the female dom profiles on this site are for women looking for, or open to, long distance relationships. Locking someone in a chastity device is a way of maintaining sexual control from afar. However, I think lots of sub men and dom women have no idea what they're really getting into if they express interest in "serious" chastity. Here's a link to one of my favorite posts on the site.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2851132/mpage_1/tm.htm

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(in reply to fallsdeep404)

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