RE: How would you react, ladies? (Full Version)

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LafayetteLady -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 8:02:21 AM)

My life isn't conducive to a dog. I can't take it for long walks and have no yard. Plus, my cat doesn't like other animals (she didn't even like her own kitten once he was weaned). I may be the alpha in the house, but she's the spoiled rotten queen, lol.

Year ago when I was still married and my son was an infant, we had a newfoundland mix. Best dog I ever had. She was a "let me show you the valuables," type of dog, loved everyone and the cat. One day a furniture guy came to repair the dining room server. He arrived just as I was getting my son dressed. I showed him to what needed to be fixed then excused myself to finish with my son in the other room.

I heard the repair guy calling, "ma'am? MA'AM?!" I went to the other room and he is in a corner of the dining room asking me to call off my dog. "Bear" had cornered him snarling and growling. I though it was the funniest thing I had seen knowing her normal attitude towards strangers.

Oh and she was a shelter puppy. My poodles are the only full breeds I ever had.




OsideGirl -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 8:38:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Yea, I know, but the way he says it, and the tone he used will make a whole difference on the panic level the lady will feel.
No, it won't.

There is no possible tone of voice that stop me from freaking out that someone has hunted me down and showed up at my home address especially if he's saying that he fell in love and he's never exchanged a single word with me.




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 8:48:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Yea, I know, but the way he says it, and the tone he used will make a whole difference on the panic level the lady will feel.
No, it won't.

There is no possible tone of voice that stop me from freaking out that someone has hunted me down and showed up at my home address especially if he's saying that he fell in love and he's never exchanged a single word with me.



Agreed, though I do remember that Greta said she's Chinese, there might be a cultural difference there in how things are perceived (that's my best guess) because the flowers sent anonymously for days to clue me in and then revealing himself and expecting me to think he is my soulmate, NO! Somebody who is so disconnected from reality, it would freaking scare me to be even in the same room. Who wants a nutcase ringing their doorbell?




OsideGirl -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 9:09:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Who wants a nutcase ringing their doorbell?


I don't like any stranger ringer my door bell unless it involves Girl Scout Cookies......




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 9:25:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Who wants a nutcase ringing their doorbell?


I don't like any stranger ringer my door bell unless it involves Girl Scout Cookies......



So in case I "track you down" I bring Girl Scout Cookies? I hope you know I'm just kidding, I wouldn't ever dream of doing this!




OsideGirl -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 9:45:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Who wants a nutcase ringing their doorbell?


I don't like any stranger ringer my door bell unless it involves Girl Scout Cookies......



So in case I "track you down" I bring Girl Scout Cookies? I hope you know I'm just kidding, I wouldn't ever dream of doing this!


[:D] "Hi. I saw you on Collar Me and read you like Girl Scout Cookies....."

If you're ever in San Diego, please do feel free to ping me, though.




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 10:09:37 AM)

You know, I just read through his CMails again, the woman is a pro-Domme (missed that bit) and he thinks she will be flattered by some stranger doing this shit - I see disaster looming... Most likely that she can really swing a mean whip....




hlen5 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 2:14:41 PM)

It's too bad he hasn't read this thread. I hope he does and stops that magical thinking!!




PeonForHer -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 4:59:26 PM)

NM

Nobody would believe me anyway.




kiwisub12 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 5:11:20 PM)

Oh go on - give us a try....[:D]




PeonForHer -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 5:15:00 PM)

Oh no, it doesn't matter. It wasn't about my being stalked, or stalking someone else, I should say, though. Thank you for asking, though.




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 5:21:28 PM)

It made me blog, I won't put the link here as I used copies (no names though) of the messages that really disturbed me, but also my usual soap box rant about protecting your identity online (been careless once and paid dearly for it)

So please:


Do NOT give out any email addy that is connected with your social networks, make a new one that you use only for kink boards and interactions, don't even THINK of using your professional email addy (think about the fun the guys in the IT department might have with that, and if they fire you, this is NOT something you want to come up in a law suit if you appeal)

Do not post facial pictures, especially not ones you use on other networks (FB etc) as well, there are tons of facial recognition programs out there. Shadows work marvellously well and add a bit of mystique

If you are on a message board and there is a poster or a posse of posters who will follow a person who upset them around to have pops at them, be VERY VERY CAREFUL, people aren't that different online than they are in real life (fell for that one myself and regretted it), they don't even need to address the person, they will try to comment in the same thread, throw snide remarks, it's a very very good indicator! Chances are they have been warned by the mods and are "playing the game" but they can't stop their stalkerish tendencies

Get a Google number or get a cheap phone, if you're in the US a burner phone is great

Use common sense, don't expect that everybody into BDSM is a friend, a hell lot of different people are into BDSM

Watch the language of somebody, if they claim to adore women but always use terms like "chicks" and such, it's a bad sign
Pretending to be super submissive or super macho - RED FLAG
Sexual slurs like "seem to be gay" and all that stuff, quite a few of them are homophobes (and I expect closet queers)
Seriously, if somebody gives you the creeps, trust your gut feeling

End of soap box rant, stay well and look after yourselves!





LaTigresse -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 5:53:21 PM)

If anyone from the net, or otherwise, makes the foolish mistake of trying to hunt me down and suceeds.........I'd almost, ALLLLLMOST..........feel sorry for them.

No I wouldn't.

P.S. Thank you LadyP. It sounds as though life has tossed you a few curve balls I was unaware of. Very sorry to read that.




DesFIP -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 7:13:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


I don't like any stranger ringer my door bell unless it involves Girl Scout Cookies......



So in case I "track you down" I bring Girl Scout Cookies? I hope you know I'm just kidding, I wouldn't ever dream of doing this!



Can't speak for Oside, but you're welcome to show up at my door with Samoas.

With that said, I dated a guy for a couple of months one summer, broke up with him before the summer finished. He thought a good date was taking me to an orgy without telling me about it ahead of time.

He started showing up at my mother's door to cry on her shoulder. A mutual friend gave him my address in college. He showed up at the door and met the guy I had started dating, thankfully half a foot taller and 50 pounds heavier, he turned right around and drove six hours back never to bother me again.

And yes, a dog of any breed is a good idea. We've always had retrievers. Normally they're very accepting animals but when they thought I was threatened, they're very protective of me.




Greta75 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 8:00:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

You know, I just read through his CMails again, the woman is a pro-Domme (missed that bit) and he thinks she will be flattered by some stranger doing this shit - I see disaster looming... Most likely that she can really swing a mean whip....

Lol, she's a domme?? Maybe he wants her to to swing a mean whip :) Thus the pissing her off.




Lynnxz -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 8:03:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

You know, I just read through his CMails again, the woman is a pro-Domme (missed that bit) and he thinks she will be flattered by some stranger doing this shit - I see disaster looming... Most likely that she can really swing a mean whip....

Lol, she's a domme?? Maybe he wants her to to swing a mean whip :) Thus the pissing her off.


I hope she pops him in the eye.




Greta75 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 8:04:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
There is no possible tone of voice that stop me from freaking out that someone has hunted me down and showed up at my home address especially if he's saying that he fell in love and he's never exchanged a single word with me.

I think the problem is, we know the back story of this dude. As in, his trying to contact this domme he feels he would really really like, but don't have any other way to contact her except to show up at her door to introduce himself. And he really really likes her. How else should he do this? In the context, if he managed to get her to allow him to explain why he has done this, it's not that crazy but kinda sweet. What difference is this from a strange man just walking up to you on the street trying to befriend you? Except that guy clearly approached you and tried to talk to you because he thinks you are pretty, and in this case, this guy really liked what the domme wrote and he really wants to get to know her better, and how else can he do this, if she closed her account.

Unless I misunderstood and he has her email or contact number or something.




littlewonder -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 8:36:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

No it really doesn't depend on what he says at all. Even the "scenario" you gave as an example is creepy and screams "I'm totally out of touch with reality.

Yea, I know, but the way he says it, and the tone he used will make a whole difference on the panic level the lady will feel.
Chances are, she'll still say, "Leave now and never contact me again, or I'll call the police." But he could probably save himself getting pepper sprayed ha.



No the tone would not matter. He's still creepy and I would let him know in no uncertain terms that he needs a mental hospital and I will call him one to make sure he gets there.

ETA: Greta, he doesn't!!! She closed her account. That means she's not looking for contact from anyone at all from here. And walking up to someone on the street and stalking them at their home are two entirely different situations! My home is my PRIVATE property, my private life.

This reminds me of a stalker I had at work from here. This was before I had ever mentioned on here of my job and what I did for a living at that time. It was lunchtime and I was sitting in the park across the street from work like I always did on nice days. This guy walks up to me and calls me by my screen name and goes on to tell me how he has seen me at the courthouse and we've been in the elevator together and he's entered the room where I worked just to see if I was there. He turned out to be an attorney. Yeah, I was totally creeped out and even told my co-workers about the incident with as much information as they needed to know except about where he saw me. So this way, if he came into the office, I never waited on him or interacted with him in any way. Come to find out one day that the sheriffs deputies that I worked with, made sure he was quite aware of his breach of conduct. Never had to worry about him again. [;)]




LadyPact -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 9:44:33 PM)

LaT, thank you. It's good to see you making an appearance.

After having several discussions revolving around this subject today (and thank you to everyone who took the time in private as well as on the thread) we probably will do the dog. It's kind of funny because MP and I have had lots of talks about the dog subject over the years. Until the idea of getting the dog for protection, we definitely had two separate ideas about it. He's always said he wants a 'dog sized dog,' which means medium size (at minimum) to large. The type of dogs I had always said I would be more likely to be what he comically refers to as football sized. (You know the 'real man/real dog' type of reaction.)

We'll probably average out on the cats. Angel (the one that usually gets referred to as "The Whiteness") is a dog cat from way back. Demon could do ok, because he's had a dog in the house before. Nermal, the little grey thing, is the biggest scaredy cat on the planet. Picture afraid of her own shadow (and everything else) kind of cat. She'll be the hardest one to adopt the dog. I actually agree with those who say not a puppy because then the puppy has to grow into a protector.

I got a lot of input on this subject today. Both men and women, but more from women. It seems that unless a woman actually gets to bunny boiler category, the men don't worry quite as much as the women do. My random samples of emails from today, women seem to have far more experience in having a stalker than males. Just the way the numbers fell when people contacted Me privately. A couple of males wrote Me on the other site to say they didn't know if they'd have the same kind of restraint that MP's had. I have to agree with that because if positions were reversed, I don't know if I'd be great in that category.

The whip to the eye is a great idea, and I could probably do it. Problem is, I really don't carry Mine to the door. Plus, both doors open inward. I wouldn't get the four feet that I need. The quirt would work though. [:D]




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/25/2014 4:32:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
There is no possible tone of voice that stop me from freaking out that someone has hunted me down and showed up at my home address especially if he's saying that he fell in love and he's never exchanged a single word with me.

I think the problem is, we know the back story of this dude. As in, his trying to contact this domme he feels he would really really like, but don't have any other way to contact her except to show up at her door to introduce himself. And he really really likes her. How else should he do this? In the context, if he managed to get her to allow him to explain why he has done this, it's not that crazy but kinda sweet. What difference is this from a strange man just walking up to you on the street trying to befriend you? Except that guy clearly approached you and tried to talk to you because he thinks you are pretty, and in this case, this guy really liked what the domme wrote and he really wants to get to know her better, and how else can he do this, if she closed her account.

Unless I misunderstood and he has her email or contact number or something.


It's a massive massive difference from being approached on the street, it is a guy who saw you on a KINK site, where you don't give your address, it's not kinda sweet, it's psychotic and deranged, underhanded and intrusive.

If a guy talks to you on the street, you can say "Sorry, busy!" or whatever, but if a guy sees you on the street and follows you home, follows you around, you'd call the cops.

I don't know if she closed her account, he closed his account here, from what he said, she didn't check her account here for a month...

Flowers and "hidden messages" aren't a good way to approach a complete stranger!




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