RE: How would you react, ladies? (Full Version)

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TNDommeK -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/23/2014 10:46:30 PM)

Well first, my husband would probably stop him before he could approach me but hell yea that's creepy.
I don't know about everyone else, but down here, I would've pulled my gun on him.
You just don't do that.

ETA: I would not have a problem meeting anyone, provided that I know about it. And understand that huge monstrous black man watching me, is really a sweet teddy bear lol. Seriously though, surprised of that sort are not ok.




ARIES83 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 2:29:10 AM)

I've had a little experience with people doing this, not personally but through friends.
It just makes me confused. When someone who seems pretty normal, definitely not stupid or weird, can't see some very basic propriety issues like this.

No one wants to have someone from the internet just pop up in their life and say "surprise!" when they do that by "working out" where you live/work without you deciding to give out that information... Or perhaps more ominously... Mysterious flowers showing up, as if to say "I know where you live" no matter how benign the message on the card is...
It's funny and sad in a sense, when someone genuinely caring and good can still manage to scare away all the girls by being socially uncoordinated to the point of seeming like a creep.




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 3:34:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

LP,

Yes, I know which category you are in. I'm deepy sorry you are still having those issues. I hope the move does help.

Getting a dog is a great idea. Sure dobermans can be very intimitading as can shepards rotties, mastiffs, etc. Me? I would get a standard size poodle. They don't look intimidating but are one of the smartest breeds, are extremely loyal, great family pets and, they were originally used by the Japanese as guard dogs. Fiercly proective of those they love.

Yea, I'm a bit eccentric, but I like that they don't look intimidating. No one really blinks if someone says they were attcked by those other breeds, but if a stalker, burglar or whatever said they were attacked by a poodle? Especially if the poodle is froo froo clipped? Guess I'm always going to try to find a way to make even a bad situation amuse me. Lol.


I think all dogs are fiercely protective of their pack, aka family, not a breed specific thing. While I get the amusement factor of a frow frow Poodle biting somebody's butt (the French police use the standard poodles as police dogs, they are HUGE) sometimes a dog that looks intimidating can be a detractor for a stalker, but LP has cats, the poodles I know around here all hate cats, some dogs just don't get on very well with other dogs or cats (I love Weimaraners but I always knew I wouldn't encourage breeding especially since so many dogs are in shelters and I rather take a rehomed dog, with a Weimaraner it has to grow up with cats, similar to Poodles, or else they see them as prey and defend their turf, so that was out). A standard Poodle over here is easily the size of a Dobie and they do require a ton of training or else they can be biters, it depends on how much training LP is willing to do. In her situation a puppy also wouldn't be very intimidating and they are tons of work.
In LP's case I'd go for a shelter dog of a decent size (a Yorkshire Terrier or a Pomeranian don't have the intimidation factor), a dog who was a family dog and is going to be rehomed due to changing circumstances and has lived with cats, would take out the whole house training trouble, the whole "no stairs for the first 9 months" and all the other stuff you need to watch out when you have a puppy, due to her feeding the dog, he would automatically regard her as the pack leader. Mongrels are great dogs too. I wouldn't recommend a Dobie to anybody who doesn't like long walks and who doesn't want a velcro dog who's glued to your side, most pedigrees or breeds have breed specific problems (which can be very costly), mongrels seem to be a lot hardier and are just as lovable, and you don't run into prejudices like "Oh dangerous attack dogs" when the only danger is really drowning in dog saliva unless you attack.

When it comes down to it, any dog above cat size is something that will make a potential attacker pause, a big bark and big teeth are a plus, the rest really comes down to what is best suited to a person's circumstances (cats, children, how much exercise, attention and training you can give the dog, etc.) and some dogs are harder to train or need a lot of training, Border Collies are superb dogs, so are Huskies but they are working dogs, if they don't work you have to invest a lot of time to train them or they will get bored and then start chewing up the house. Even a cuddly Labrador can turn into a snarling monster when they believe they need to defend their pack. I regularly take mine out at night and walk into the woods or a big park and let them roam, I was once approached by somebody who wanted to relieve me of my cash (he didn't see the dogs as they were happily sniffing around in the bushes), there was no bite nothing, girlie stood next to me and made herself known with a low growl, her snout in his groin, showing a beautiful fang with a curl of her lips, boyo snuck up behind him and said "Woof", oddly enough he didn't think I owe to give him any money, and I was nice enough to tell him to walk away slowly (he didn't know that they stay and felt well within my rights to scare the shit out of him).

The thing about dogs is not just the protection they actually give you, it's also the feeling of comfort and being protected, having a companion with you who's willing to lay down his or her life for you, that just helps you to cope with bad situations. I love my cats as much as the dogs, but they don't give me that feeling of "I'm protected", which is super important especially if you were in a situation where the worst part is the fear factor and the damage it does to your psyche and general well being. I'd say they are therapeutic.

Now since you like a quirky sense of humour, the funniest part is that I have to thank my stalker for getting the boy dog, one of his little plots was shopping me to animal protection and hassling them with calls about how abused and mistreated my animals are, so they came and checked me out. Upon seeing how happy they are, and after talking to our vet who told them that even the idea of our pets being abused is ridiculous, they suggested we take in a 2 year old male Dobie (fully grown they claimed, ha, within 3 months he grew a few inches) who had gone through 5 homes before. So whenever his actions get me down, I just lean back and think "That backfired, thanks a lot, idiot, you gave us a beautiful addition to the family, a-hole!" Obviously followed with other nice thoughts like "Hope you rot in hell!" and "May even your left hand reject you!"

I can honestly say, their unconditional love and affection kept me sane through all this shit, there is nothing like 80 kilos of dogs mugging you for hugs and doing happy doggie dances because you were out of the house for all but 3 hours.




PeonForHer -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 3:54:40 AM)

quote:

It's funny and sad in a sense, when someone genuinely caring and good can still manage to scare away all the girls by being socially uncoordinated to the point of seeming like a creep.


I'm trying to remember back to my callow youth when I did things occasionally that would alarm the girls. It's difficult. I can't remember when, and how, I learned otherwise. But I do know that when I did eventually pick it up there was a point at which I thought, 'Jeez. That should have been so obvious.'




PeonForHer -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 3:59:48 AM)

So, do you like your dogs then, Lady C?




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 4:06:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

So, do you like your dogs then, Lady C?


I barely tolerate them and the cats, couldn't you tell?




PeonForHer -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 4:10:03 AM)

[:D]




theshytype -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 4:48:09 AM)

I haven't read all the responses but I'm sure there aren't many here, if any at all, that don't believe this to be a completely creepy and alarming move. It's a little disturbing.
If he were to go those lengths to send flowers, I'd be wondering what other lengths he'd be willing to go to get what he wanted and it would not be a turn on.

I highly value my privacy and only want someone in if I let them. If I'm not given a choice, I feel threatened no matter how harmless someone may seem.

I saw a mention of dogs for protection. I agree that most breeds will do a fine job protecting their family but some seem better than others. Growing up, I had a lab. Sweet dog and sweet to any stranger that came to the door. Now, I have a boxer. Sweetest family dog ever but scares the crap out of anyone that comes to the door. He's awesome in every way, unless he steps on your bare foot. Since most of his weight is in the front, it feels like a horse is stepping on you. I'm not much of a dog person but I love this dog. I have sat back a few times and thought how wonderful of a friend he is. We feed him, keep him warm, and love him. In return, he's willing to stand in front of us to protect us. He's giving us so much for so little. It is very comforting to know.

My husband had grown up with boxers and had one that had bitten the cheek off of an intruder. While it may or may not be the breed itself, the thought is helpful for me to know what they are capable of. He is the first line of defense, starting with his barking and growls. Should they make it past him, guns and knives follow.




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 5:00:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

While it is a super bad idea, but it also depends on his tone of introduction when his at her door.
I mean when she opens the door, she'd be like, "Hmm, delivery dude with flowers! Who would send me flowers?" She wouldn't think stalker and creep immediately. Then what he says is very crucial here.

...



This scenario, realizing I'd never in a million years have thought to question a flower delivery guy, really creeps me out. This thread, and the posts made, makes me question if I'll ever answer my door again. It also makes me so very thankful that my stalker ended up to be relatively harmlesss.

In a way, it is kind of a relief (sorry ladies) to know that I'm not the creeper magnet I feared I was. I was almost certain it all had to be me, that I was doing something wrong attracting them.

The creepy stalker guy who followed me uninvited home from a munch and kept lurking outside and staring at me through the window was mostly harmless, and the 'everyone likes him' guy I met at a munch; The guy who said everything right, did all the right things and who seemed like a great guy ended up being the one who was dangerous.





WinsomeDefiance -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 5:09:53 AM)

My pointer (German Short Haired Pointer) is so sweet and loving of strangers that I didn't think he'd be protective at all, but when someone approached me aggressively while we were in my car, and started yelling at me, he put his paws on my lap and leaned toward the woman and growled menacingly at her. It really surprised me. He went from sweet and tail wagging to protective so quickly I never knew he had it in him. She started yelling at my dog, and even stuck her hand into the window pointing at him to 'shut up' and he lunged at her. I was more worried about my dog than anything and rolled up the window afraid if he bit her, he'd be the one to get harmed. He had never shown an aggressive attitude ever until that day.




chatterbox24 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 5:29:20 AM)

Yikes, someone I have never met or talked to showing up at the door with " I just had to meet you" Would scare the crap out of me. I think I would have a few sleepless nights and nightmares to say the least. Its creepy. Even thinking about it, gives me SOMEONE IS WATCHING ME weird vibes lol.




Lynnxz -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 5:46:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

My pointer (German Short Haired Pointer) is so sweet and loving of strangers that I didn't think he'd be protective at all, but when someone approached me aggressively while we were in my car, and started yelling at me, he put his paws on my lap and leaned toward the woman and growled menacingly at her. It really surprised me. He went from sweet and tail wagging to protective so quickly I never knew he had it in him. She started yelling at my dog, and even stuck her hand into the window pointing at him to 'shut up' and he lunged at her. I was more worried about my dog than anything and rolled up the window afraid if he bit her, he'd be the one to get harmed. He had never shown an aggressive attitude ever until that day.


How stupid can you BE? She's lucky your dog didn't take a bite of her...

Some idiot approached my dog in the car... And he took the guy's upper lip off.




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 6:10:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

My pointer (German Short Haired Pointer) is so sweet and loving of strangers that I didn't think he'd be protective at all, but when someone approached me aggressively while we were in my car, and started yelling at me, he put his paws on my lap and leaned toward the woman and growled menacingly at her. It really surprised me. He went from sweet and tail wagging to protective so quickly I never knew he had it in him. She started yelling at my dog, and even stuck her hand into the window pointing at him to 'shut up' and he lunged at her. I was more worried about my dog than anything and rolled up the window afraid if he bit her, he'd be the one to get harmed. He had never shown an aggressive attitude ever until that day.


They'll step up and protect the pack, my Dobies are the basically tarts, a friend calls the boy Marmaduke as he really is like the comic strip, not a mean bone in his body, the girl thinks all humans exist to stroke and fuss her and will force her snout under the hand of people who dare to keep their hands in their pockets (seriously, don't they know they're supposed to fuss her?), but any move that is just slightly threatening towards us or the cats, formidable growls, lips curled to show fangs and the "No Further" stance. The same dogs that the neighbour's kids regularly put in tutus or place bonnets on their heads because they're so loving and placid.

A guy recently said to H "Your dogs scare me, I wouldn't like to make them angry!" H turned round and said "Actually if you make them angry, you've got to deal with my wife, now that should really scare you!"

A well socialized dog isn't aggressive, but it's in their nature to be protective.




MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 6:18:23 AM)

I was stalked by a guy I friended on Myspace. I never gave him My address but somehow he still tracked down where I lived and decided to drive by. He sent Me a message saying how beautiful My flower gardens were, and even accurately described the flowers and My vehicles. I suppose to HIM this would seem like a compliment, but to Me (especially being MARRIED) I found it extremely creepy and somewhat of a threat (that he would go to such effort to find Me, the whacko). I reported him to Myspace and they deleted his account. This was back around 2006. I've since learned not to give out My full name.




crazyml -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 6:27:19 AM)

And another.

Feel free to pass this message on. ?.

"Hello, listen, you've got to stop with the stalking shit, which is exactly what your creepy actions amount to. I mean... WHAT THE FUCK MADE YOU THINK THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA???"


Fuck




GoddessManko -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 6:32:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS

I was stalked by a guy I friended on Myspace. I never gave him My address but somehow he still tracked down where I lived and decided to drive by. He sent Me a message saying how beautiful My flower gardens were, and even accurately described the flowers and My vehicles. I suppose to HIM this would seem like a compliment, but to Me (especially being MARRIED) I found it extremely creepy and somewhat of a threat (that he would go to such effort to find Me, the whacko). I reported him to Myspace and they deleted his account. This was back around 2006. I've since learned not to give out My full name.


Wow, how terrifying. And I had a couple of stalkers but one that sticks out in my mind I had at 16. He didn't know my real name (thought it was Bianca), someone I chatted with from the internet merely out of boredom perhaps (parental block is good). He ALWAYS had a story of woe to tell me (ex gf died in car accident, best friend has cancer etc) for sympathy and even threatened to kill himself if I didn't love him. He would call me up to 20 times in a row, it was pretty horrible and I never met him thankfully and he lived many hours away and was a minor so whew! I was safe as far as his ability to come find me.
Another stalker was a couple of years ago, met him at a club through my gf (he just so happened to be there) and on our first date was trying to convince me that without him my life would be miserable forever and I should marry him.
It got a little scary (I thought he was going to take me hostage) and he even insulted my friend about her looks (who introduced me to him).
Honestly I thought about calling his job and believe I did finally out of desperation and it did make him back off. But my sister's husband said he would continually call their house somehow looking for me.
A lot of these guys often take for granted the imbalance of risk involved in merely MEETING someone, online or offline.
Don't any guys have stories of crazy exes and stalkers?
My last ex was hmmm...yea, not great when we broke up though our relationship was grand. He had issues with drinking and also lost 20 lbs of muscle in 2 months post break up.
Some men just lack emotional maturity in a MAJOR way (and some women, sure).
Edited for punctuation.




MisterP61 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 7:00:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I think all dogs are fiercely protective of their pack, aka family, not a breed specific thing. While I get the amusement factor of a frow frow Poodle biting somebody's butt (the French police use the standard poodles as police dogs, they are HUGE) sometimes a dog that looks intimidating can be a detractor for a stalker, but LP has cats, the poodles I know around here all hate cats, some dogs just don't get on very well with other dogs or cats (I love Weimaraners but I always knew I wouldn't encourage breeding especially since so many dogs are in shelters and I rather take a rehomed dog, with a Weimaraner it has to grow up with cats, similar to Poodles, or else they see them as prey and defend their turf, so that was out). A standard Poodle over here is easily the size of a Dobie and they do require a ton of training or else they can be biters, it depends on how much training LP is willing to do. In her situation a puppy also wouldn't be very intimidating and they are tons of work.
In LP's case I'd go for a shelter dog of a decent size (a Yorkshire Terrier or a Pomeranian don't have the intimidation factor), a dog who was a family dog and is going to be rehomed due to changing circumstances and has lived with cats, would take out the whole house training trouble, the whole "no stairs for the first 9 months" and all the other stuff you need to watch out when you have a puppy, due to her feeding the dog, he would automatically regard her as the pack leader. Mongrels are great dogs too. I wouldn't recommend a Dobie to anybody who doesn't like long walks and who doesn't want a velcro dog who's glued to your side, most pedigrees or breeds have breed specific problems (which can be very costly), mongrels seem to be a lot hardier and are just as lovable, and you don't run into prejudices like "Oh dangerous attack dogs" when the only danger is really drowning in dog saliva unless you attack.

When it comes down to it, any dog above cat size is something that will make a potential attacker pause, a big bark and big teeth are a plus, the rest really comes down to what is best suited to a person's circumstances (cats, children, how much exercise, attention and training you can give the dog, etc.) and some dogs are harder to train or need a lot of training, Border Collies are superb dogs, so are Huskies but they are working dogs, if they don't work you have to invest a lot of time to train them or they will get bored and then start chewing up the house. Even a cuddly Labrador can turn into a snarling monster when they believe they need to defend their pack. I regularly take mine out at night and walk into the woods or a big park and let them roam, I was once approached by somebody who wanted to relieve me of my cash (he didn't see the dogs as they were happily sniffing around in the bushes), there was no bite nothing, girlie stood next to me and made herself known with a low growl, her snout in his groin, showing a beautiful fang with a curl of her lips, boyo snuck up behind him and said "Woof", oddly enough he didn't think I owe to give him any money, and I was nice enough to tell him to walk away slowly (he didn't know that they stay and felt well within my rights to scare the shit out of him).

The thing about dogs is not just the protection they actually give you, it's also the feeling of comfort and being protected, having a companion with you who's willing to lay down his or her life for you, that just helps you to cope with bad situations. I love my cats as much as the dogs, but they don't give me that feeling of "I'm protected", which is super important especially if you were in a situation where the worst part is the fear factor and the damage it does to your psyche and general well being. I'd say they are therapeutic.

Now since you like a quirky sense of humour, the funniest part is that I have to thank my stalker for getting the boy dog, one of his little plots was shopping me to animal protection and hassling them with calls about how abused and mistreated my animals are, so they came and checked me out. Upon seeing how happy they are, and after talking to our vet who told them that even the idea of our pets being abused is ridiculous, they suggested we take in a 2 year old male Dobie (fully grown they claimed, ha, within 3 months he grew a few inches) who had gone through 5 homes before. So whenever his actions get me down, I just lean back and think "That backfired, thanks a lot, idiot, you gave us a beautiful addition to the family, a-hole!" Obviously followed with other nice thoughts like "Hope you rot in hell!" and "May even your left hand reject you!"

I can honestly say, their unconditional love and affection kept me sane through all this shit, there is nothing like 80 kilos of dogs mugging you for hugs and doing happy doggie dances because you were out of the house for all but 3 hours.


If We do decide to get a dog (which is seriously being considered), My vote is a Rottweiler. Biggest mushes in the world, but fiercely loyal to their "pack". I think We would have to get it as a pup though. Some adults can be harder to find that are cat trained.

Growing up as a kid in NY, I had German shepherds, and the one I had was a "wagging my tail, and show you where all the good stuff is in the house" kind of dog, but show even one aggressive move towards My sisters or I and this dog was all teeth and growls.

It's funny. Ever walk out of your house, and realize you forgot something and turn right around to go back for it. The dogs think it was forever, and react the same as if it were 3 hours. LOL




LadyConstanze -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 7:16:47 AM)

LOL MrP, yup, the bouncy "I thought you never come back" action...

I would respectfully vote against the puppy, puppy training is hell and a puppy isn't much protection. Talk to shelters they have tons of dogs who grew up with cats and taking a dog in is a big deal to a dog, we recently learned that big boyo actually had taken a piece of one of the previous owners who tried to beat the dog into submission with a broom (effing idiot), we never had to deal with aggression though he is terrified of brooms and x-rays show that he had broken ribs. A dog that was socialized and lost his or her pack will try to fit into the new pack and show even more that they are worthy pack members. For each cat you have, it will be between 2 and 7 days until the barking stops, one of you holding and calming the cat will show the dog that the cat is a pack member, allow a gentle sniff to get the scent. Alfie came to us as "he will eat cats" - guess what, most devoted cat slave, when I still had the pet rats, his fave would climb on his head and he carried ratboy through the house while Mr Rat groomed him. The joke was "Look, Alfie is carrying his brain!"
Most of the barking is not aggression but just telling you there are sounds and somebody is on the patch, when they realize it's the cats and it's pack members making the noise, they won't even blink.




chatterbox24 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 7:22:41 AM)

Ive got some serious ankle lickers, IM afraid my yorkies don't offer much protection but MY CAT IS A DIFFERENT STORY. lol. SHe has claws and she isn't afraid to use them. She has attacked my sister several times. Hysterical!




MisterP61 -> RE: How would you react, ladies? (2/24/2014 7:26:13 AM)

I know exactly how hard a pup is to raise, and I am also a firm believer in using the pound to get animals as well. Our cat Jasmine, who recently passed was a shelter kitty, but from before I met LP, and I was told she wouldn't get along with any other animal. This wasn't entirely true. She was fiercely territorial of one piece of real estate... My lap. The rest was just cats jostling for position as the "alpha". I will look in shelters first, but I will not guarantee that it would come from there. Hell, pretty sure We may not even get one at all. Will be a "Couple" decision, and it will be only if She feels threatened in any way.




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