RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (Full Version)

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LilJuly76 -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 8:41:17 AM)

sadly yes some people have a lousy work ethic. when you work in non for profit they try to cut corners as much as possible.

1. I got some free office furniture for the agency
2. the second in command got food for the lunch program for less cost than in stores (which will help during the winter months)

I work hard, even though I get less pay than the other staff. I'm no prude, it's cheaper to pay someone like me cheap to do the office work than have a university grad do it, so even though I work hard and do whatever I can and pay far less, I'm grateful to have something unlike so many that I know of, have nothing and probably will continue to have nothing.



ohthat1percent -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 8:57:36 AM)

I think a lot of people have a defeatist mentality which is why they take what they can get. I do get that some people have no choice but if they take something and stop looking - that's on them.

You also imply that I've been handed what I have in my job. When the reality is I worked damn hard to work as I do. I give up what many sane people refuse to do for a job that most anyone can do on average. But if all you are is willing to be average, then you have at accept less compromise between your wants and your employers. I am in a position I can negotiate and compromise because I've placed myself in that position. I work at a job as I said most anyone can do with a little experience, yet I can set my own work conditions for the most part, and employers are willing to pay me pretty much what I want within the realm of what my job pays, and give me free reign.

What I have created in my current job makes it high stress, has my insomnia flarin all the time, my mother and friends worry about me a lot so what I have created isn't all sunshine and roses, but has many downsides most of my colleagues don't have. By I also acknowledge that's on me.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 9:06:42 AM)

Nobody is denying you worked hard for your job.
Or that you made it what you did.

The point is, the majority of workers don't even have that sort of choice even when they work hard at it.
Sometimes it's all down to availability of work where they live.

Even with the best will in the world and they work damned hard at it, they don't get the sort of opportunity/opening that you had.

So to say "it's on them" for not getting that lucky strike is not being very fair or a 'defeatist mentality' either.


Jus' saying.



ohthat1percent -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 9:18:43 AM)

I didn't get a lucky strike. What I have is on ME, just like what others have is on them. I do understand what you are saying, I just don't agree with it. If people are working damn hard, don't feel appreciated or in control over their employment - and do nothing to change it- but want to - that's a defeatist mentality and yes- it's on them.

Many times the problem is people don't want to suffer the consequences such as struggle or sacrificing Ceska etc to get what they want and that's fine. But that's still a choice they are making and the responsibility of what they are i as to their employment and the long run of same is ON THEM.

Just like how I would live to go into charitable fundraising full time but I'm not willing to take the consequences of doing so. So I remain in the field and jo. I'm in. That's on me.

You want to take the responsibility off people, I want it on people.

It was is what it is. We all accept what we chose to accept in life.



LilJuly76 -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 9:21:04 AM)

have to agree freedomdwarf.

I don't appreciate someone calling me a defeatist. I live in a country where people with disabilities are:

1. underpaid in a job
2. paid by way of having a free meal, or a present
3. not paid anything at all
4. or have a set amount of paid hours (I'm this one)

I'm not a defeatist, I'm a survivor, I count myself lucky I have something. I traded having this kind of a job with an employer that treats me well for the past temp full time jobs I had being treated like an employee number and not a human being, which led me to cut myself pretty badly. I would never want that kind of job back. I'm constantly fighting for a better life for people, that's why I work in the industry, I don't have a lot of money to help people get safe housing and pay for the cost of food but I try to help in other ways even though essentially I will always be paid less because in reality we are of lesser value.



ThatDizzyChick -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 9:22:41 AM)

Yeah sure.



Lucylastic -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 9:35:40 AM)

Oh dear



ohthat1percent -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 9:49:14 AM)

Well I didn't call you a defeatist. I said people have a defeatist mentality and they do. Whether you are one of the people is on you and your own self reflection. You may want stop personalizing a discussion. All in all, people make choices in life - if they accept circumstances and want it to change and do nothing to change it because it might be hard, uncomfortable, what not. That's on them. And to me is a defeatist mentality. And they want to. Lame everything else outiside their own lack of ambition. If they work to change it and grow and the like they will see changes they want. They put the responsibility for what their life is on their own shoulders. That's on them.

All in all, a lot of people are content in jobs they have. That's on them whether they see it as a good or bad thing.

Here's something to consider - you've listed all the cants regarding your job. But what can you do to get what you want?

Most people in discussions like these will list all the cants- rarely do I see people list what they can do.



ThundersCry2U -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 2:10:12 PM)

Your new. Everyone has their stories on being...new.
Some are great...some are probably, nightmares.
I have BOTH kinds of stories, in my book.
DID I learn something was and is the main thing, in those experiences.

Instead of the word punishment...ponder on the word, *discipline*.

If all of your *identity* lies in pleasing *him*, etc... your in for a heck of a ride.



Greta75 -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/7/2016 10:41:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
my D used to call me at work on the work phone in he morning to see how I was doing, I asked him not to after this letter came out and he didn't get mad or anything, he thought the letter was a good idea.

I think most reasonable people will respect the company policy that you are working for and understand about it. You communicated it by showing your D the letter. You did proper communication to prepare him for why you may not be able to pick up his call. Usually if all proper communication is done properly, there shouldn't be problems.

The interesting is, my Good EQ guy is self-employed, but very disciplined when he is working. Seriously, I could masturbate infront of him, and he couldn't be distracted. There are times I am hanging out with him, and he'd tell me, he got some work to finish, go entertain myself. And he'd be totally focus. Very very disciplined and focus when he is at work. So I know when he goes into busy stretch, he is focus, he may not even respond to me, like for a few days. He is very consistent. I know his patterns and habits, very comfortable with it. I admire his discipline too, as I think generally self-employed people do need serious discipline to get work done.

My Not so great EQ guy, is sometimes focus, and sometimes not. But he is an employee in an MNC. Alot of boring meetings, where he spends his time texting me everything that is going on. And then on other days, he drops off, and then claim he is busy. But end of the day, he has had busy stretch where he was texting me to bitch about things in while the meetings were going on. So I guess it depends on his focus, and it's volatile. When you are used to hearing from him so frequently in a long stretch while he is at work, let's say 2 weeks, then he drops off for a week. No reason given. It naturally brings up anxiety. Especially when he doesn't want to explain himself and just say, because work been busy.
I just feel he is a bad communicator. And I have now accepted this is his style and his habit. And not bothered anymore.

I have alot of questions for OP, but she obviously have resolved her issue with her dominant, that's why she is no longer here.




LadyPact -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/9/2016 12:55:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent
Why didn't you just counsel him his production was down and advice if he didn't improve he would be fired?

It would be difficult for me to explain the entirety of the situation without boring you to tears. Suffice to say, it was a combination of factors, one of which was his direct supervisor agreeing with going the harsher road, and allowing for the definition of the 'one strike and your out' perception of the situation.






Numerans -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (10/9/2016 9:49:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

So he has decided to punish you and teach you a lesson that fits the crime. Seems right.
Sounds like he wants you to understand and remember that it's a privilege to initiate contact with him and send him your thoughts, so you won't abuse it again.

How long has it been since he gave you the order?

OMG!

I find this emotionally abusive. She is still a human being!
I just shake my head when I see people thinking this is the acceptable behaviour of a dominant who wants to correct his submissive behaviour.

Cold treatment in any world, is just not right to solve communication problems.



Like I mentioned in that other thread, what is really punishment here and what is part of their little world of kink?
Seems to be one of those Daddy/Girl things and he is basically giving her the silent treatment for being snotty.

I shit you not, neither you nor I nor they really know where the line should be drawn here but part of at least my intrigue with BDSM is the whole exploration of our limited and flawed psyches.


What ever we define it as, if used it can probably produce some "positive" results for them and if abused it will produce negative results.



SmarterThanOne -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (11/3/2016 2:06:05 AM)

I think its a good punishment. Subs always be blowing up my phone like...

I miss you.
Did you see my txt i miss you?
Will i hear from you today?
Are you alive?
Im so horny, talk to me.
<missed call>
<missed call>
Please talk to me.
May I get myself off?
I guess not.
I need you Daddy.
<missed call>
DADDY PLEASE!

*meanwhile its 9am and im just sleeping late lmfao




Greta75 -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (11/3/2016 4:26:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Numerans
Like I mentioned in that other thread, what is really punishment here and what is part of their little world of kink?

If it was, she wouldn't be upset. I don't think this feels kinky to her. Although yes, there will be subs who absolutely love this as well. But end of the day, as a dominant, I think alot of them need to watch emotional welfare too and understand how to manage their sub's emotional health better too.

There is no one way fit all. My comments are based on her reaction to his punishment. I feel her emotional distress.

Some subs absolutely enjoy emotional masochism, but I don't feel this sub enjoys it.




Greta75 -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (11/3/2016 4:27:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SmarterThanOne

I think its a good punishment. Subs always be blowing up my phone like...

I miss you.
Did you see my txt i miss you?
Will i hear from you today?
Are you alive?
Im so horny, talk to me.
<missed call>
<missed call>
Please talk to me.
May I get myself off?
I guess not.
I need you Daddy.
<missed call>
DADDY PLEASE!

*meanwhile its 9am and im just sleeping late lmfao

That's what ya get when inexperience vanilla girls go into sub frenzy. Since you said most of your subs are found from vanilla and trained into kink isn't it?



Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (11/3/2016 5:22:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: SmarterThanOne

I think its a good punishment. Subs always be blowing up my phone like...

I miss you.
Did you see my txt i miss you?
Will i hear from you today?
Are you alive?
Im so horny, talk to me.
<missed call>
<missed call>
Please talk to me.
May I get myself off?
I guess not.
I need you Daddy.
<missed call>
DADDY PLEASE!

*meanwhile its 9am and im just sleeping late lmfao

That's what ya get when inexperience vanilla girls go into sub frenzy. Since you said most of your subs are found from vanilla and trained into kink isn't it?

Hahaha hahahahahahahaha





OsideGirl -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (11/3/2016 9:20:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SmarterThanOne
Subs always be blowing up my phone like...





Not this sub. Usually it's M frustrated because he can't reach me, not the other way around.

He once threatened to take away my cell phone and I handed it over with so much relief that he made me take it back.

I agree with others, since you prefer people new to BDSM, you've made your own bed. Being new in BDSM is a time of great confusion and insecurity...and as the Dominant, you get to deal with those issues.



SmarterThanOne -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (11/3/2016 10:46:29 AM)

The one who did this most recently is actually one of the experienced ones! But I see it as overall typical of every sub I have ever had (and I have some with experience, its just not most of them).

I don't mind dealing with it, and this punishment actually seems good for this problem. I just tried it today. Usually I just ignore them until I am ready to talk.



OsideGirl -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (11/3/2016 11:41:08 AM)

I hope you're addressing the "why" as much as the "what".



SmarterThanOne -> RE: My masters instructions have left me full of anxiety (11/3/2016 1:32:22 PM)

I always explain myself if I intend something to be a learning experience.



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