RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle


Yes
  57% (22)
No
  2% (1)
None of the above
  0% (0)
CNC is my kink
  10% (4)
Non consent is abuse
  18% (7)
Non consent is sexy.
  2% (1)
It Should Be
  7% (3)


Total Votes : 38
(last vote on : 10/17/2017 6:18:54 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )


Message


PeonForHer -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 12:05:12 PM)

FR

I am going to be *serious*. Oh yes!

The answer to the question of the title is yes, of course, it's a fundamental part of the BDSM lifestyle.

However, much about BDSM depends upon the fun tension between accept mores - like that of equality, and freedom to be who one is, and the world that one of inequality and being controlled that one wants to immerse oneself into. That takes subtlety and something of an ability to walk a tightrope. Forget the consent part and you have just plain abuse. Forget the world of being unequal, unfree, and unconsent ... and you have no fun - or no spiritual journey (if you feel that to be part of what you're after). In sum: D must ask for consent; s must give it willingly - but try not to let the issue get in the way too much thereafter.

For me, anyway, it really does make more sense to see people in the BDSM world as made up of two halves - the vanilla half and the kinkster half. The two halves may well be in tension, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, that tension may even be the source of the buzz. Embrace the paradox, I say.

I have Spoken.




WhoreMods -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 12:13:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


quote:

ORIGINAL: Drakvampire

actuallyu can i have Pam Ewing?



The elder;not the younger.



He's not a fucking necrophiliac, m8: he wouldn't be complaining about people not returning his PMs if he preferred his meat cold, would he?




Drakvampire -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 12:56:50 PM)

You are a bit chatty tonight - my last night, I am not coming here again. Perhaps I could interest you in the “Dalek Cunt” or the “sink plunger”?




WhoreMods -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 12:57:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Drakvampire

You are a bit chatty tonight - my last night, I am not coming here again. Perhaps I could interest you in the “Dalek Cunt” or the “sink plunger”?

Don't talk about your mum like that.




LadyPact -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:01:24 PM)

<FR>

If this thread *really* is about consent, I think most of y'all should deal with us who incorporate consent into the kink sense. That means at least half of you, who don't engage in kink on the regular, really don't have sh^t to say. It's great that you have opinions on Muslims, Catholics, Goreans, or Leather Folks, but while you're sitting in your arm chair, thinking you have the valance of opinion... I'm sorry, but you don't.

For what it's worth, I engage more than most of you people. I swing leather on the regular. Probably more than a lot of folks on this forum, so I consider myself qualified to have an opinion about consent, negotiations, and a bunch of other stuff.

If we're *really*going to talk about consent, we must look at the literal definition: It is all about the AGREEMENT between the parties for activities. That means those of you outside of said activities LOSE. You aren't a participating party, so you're opinion just isn't that important.

Now that we've shuck off the rabble, let's talk about consent...

I consider myself one of the greatest proponents of consent on the entire board. Give consent? Cool. Unless a person asks for my opinion, I'll never say a word.

However, take that consent away??? I'll sing a whole different tune.





stef -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:05:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drakvampire

You are a bit chatty tonight - my last night, I am not coming here again. Perhaps I could interest you in the “Dalek Cunt” or the “sink plunger”?

Don't talk about your mum like that.

Tht's probably how his mum talks about him.

What do you think the over/under should be on when his flounce is broken?




WhoreMods -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:06:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
If we're *really*going to talk about consent, we must look at the literal definition: It is all about the AGREEMENT between the parties for activities. That means those of you outside of said activities LOSE. You aren't a participating party, so you're opinion just isn't that important.

Google the spanner case. They can lock consenting adults up if they find an excuse. It'd be nice if those outside of kinky goings on could be excluded and ignored, but that doesn't happen a lot of time. The law of the land (or a DPP wanting to make an example) seems to trump consent between individuals.




PeonForHer -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:09:39 PM)

quote:

I'll sing a whole different tune.


I had no idea you were a singer, LP. Could you put an audio on your profile for us to enjoy? [:)]




ShaharThorne -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:11:52 PM)

Not really doing the scene currently (there is the potential though) but as long as I can remember I always got consent if I was topping. If the Tops I have been with got my consent, it is with respect to my limitations due to medical reasons (no bloodplay, needles, scat, etc.). I know it sounds kinda vanilla but one has to be safe when your body can only do so much.




LadyPact -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:12:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
If we're *really*going to talk about consent, we must look at the literal definition: It is all about the AGREEMENT between the parties for activities. That means those of you outside of said activities LOSE. You aren't a participating party, so you're opinion just isn't that important.

Google the spanner case. They can lock consenting adults up if they find an excuse. It'd be nice if those outside of kinky goings on could be excluded and ignored, but that doesn't happen a lot of time. The law of the land (or a DPP wanting to make an example) seems to trump consent between individuals.

Whether kink folks want to believe it or not, there are WAY more cases of kink people screwing each other over than the so-called religious right will ever do.




WhoreMods -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:16:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
If we're *really*going to talk about consent, we must look at the literal definition: It is all about the AGREEMENT between the parties for activities. That means those of you outside of said activities LOSE. You aren't a participating party, so you're opinion just isn't that important.

Google the spanner case. They can lock consenting adults up if they find an excuse. It'd be nice if those outside of kinky goings on could be excluded and ignored, but that doesn't happen a lot of time. The law of the land (or a DPP wanting to make an example) seems to trump consent between individuals.

Whether kink folks want to believe it or not, there are WAY more cases of kink people screwing each other over than the so-called religious right will ever do.


Consent makes no legal difference if somebody wants to charge you with assault or abh, sadly. I don't think anybody in the local scene dropped a dime on the poor fucks in Manchester, though that could be a problem in some cases, no question.




ShaharThorne -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:17:40 PM)

I know...there was a situation in Shreveport area about 2 or 3 years ago that mentioned the CM site on the local news. This is a very religious area so it made a lot of gossip rounds.




LadyPact -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:38:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

I'll sing a whole different tune.


I had no idea you were a singer, LP. Could you put an audio on your profile for us to enjoy? [:)]

Nah! Maybe next time. [:)]




LadyPact -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 1:40:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

I know...there was a situation in Shreveport area about 2 or 3 years ago that mentioned the CM site on the local news. This is a very religious area so it made a lot of gossip rounds.

Did you <huggle> the rapists and stalkers in that case, too?




ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 4:27:19 PM)

Really seriously fucking stupid question.




Lucylastic -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 4:35:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Really seriously fucking stupid question.

yes, it is.




LadyPact -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 8:52:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Really seriously fucking stupid question.

yes, it is.


Actually, it's not. If it were such a stupid question, we wouldn't read page after page, week after week about consent violations orchestrated by kinky people. Not those 'nilla f^ckers that we try to act smug because we are 'oh so much more enlightened' than. When they do it, we call it rape or the nicer term of sexual assault. We dress it down and call them consent violations.

PFFFFTTTTT.

Heck, we have to create cartoons like "Consent is like a cup of tea" just for grown adults to be able to understand the concept. We're still trying to get it through people's heads that NO really does mean no, and yes, date rape is still a sexual assault.

Until we can, it is NOT a stupid question and we should continue discussing it.





NoirMetal -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 8:59:15 PM)

we really need to talk about brats abusing tops too.

You have no idea how traumatic it can be to find your favorite flogger smeared with grape jelly.




LadyPact -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 9:16:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal

we really need to talk about brats abusing tops too.

You have no idea how traumatic it can be to find your favorite flogger smeared with grape jelly.

Please tell me you're joking. [8D] Shoot! I wrote a recent post about how glad I was that the dog couldn't slime my stuff downstairs. (If you haven't seen the thread... Long story.)

On a more serious note, if you should ever choose to write an original related to the topic of 'bottoms/s-types aren't the only receivers of consent violations,' I absolutely promise my full participation.




Marini -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/13/2017 9:38:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

This poll comes out of this thread/post.
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=5081310

Is Consent, whether given once,(as in CNC) or otherwise, part of your "lifestyle activities"?



Hi Lucy in the sky with diamonds, nice thread!
I voted "yes", because if you are living a lifestyle, you should be able to consent to what you will become involved with AND
what you do not to become involved with.
[:D]




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