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LadyPact -> RE: Is consent a part of the BDSM lifestyle (10/14/2017 8:23:51 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Marini
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
For the record, what part of it happened ONCE didnt you get ....it wasnt an ABUSIVE relationship. Until he put me in the hospital the first and only time.
I didnt equate BDSM relationships with abusive relationships, except it can very easily turn abusive once consent is removed or withdrawn
. so ...yeah, we are done.
I am so sorry to read this Lucy.
All relationships can "turn", when someone get's angry!
It is "rarely" mentioned, the possible danger many Dominant women could be put into.
At the end of the day, men are still MEN, even if they are/or "claim" to be submissive or slaves.
If/when a submissive male or even female gets mad/angry/vindictive with a Dominant woman, and takes action or becomes physical or abusive --
many "Dominant women" would be up shits creek, unless they walk around with a loaded weapon all the time.
Lifestyle or no lifestyle, people are people, and most men are stronger than most women.
We always read about the need for "submissive's" to make sure the Dominant knows what they are doing.
When have you ever read, how careful Dominant's need to be, about dealing with crazy submissive's?
Not to mention, many people attracted to this "lifestyle" don't seem to be playing with a full deck.
I love to read profiles on here, and it is clear that many {men and women}, drawn to this "lifestyle" might not have all their marbles.
All women and men, need to be careful about who they become involved with and who they decide to bring into their lives.
At the end of the day, people are people.
I always felt you need to be even more diligent when you have a partner in this lifestyle, not less diligent.
It takes serious balls for a person to put that kind of thing on a forum. I'm proud of Lucy for doing it because any person who feels that it's beneficial to put their personal experience on a thread pretty much knows the potential of what can happen. It's sh^tty but it's almost expected.
One of the reasons it's 'rarely' mentioned has something to do about such threads being pulled. For the most part, I don't know any more or less about who reports what around here, but sometimes, information happens. In the last few years, none of the stalking threads (where stalking was the actual topic) have survived on the General board past a certain point. That's where you'll see Dominant women talk about it, but you have to catch them quick before they go *poof*.
I can't tell you how many times I've said that I wished Dominant men would do the same. They have several valid combinations of reasons why they won't and I have trouble finding counter arguments for their hesitancy. Yep, even I'll cop to 'female privilege' in this area. (About four male posters just had a joygasm for me to even say that.) It's harder for men because people shame them about this area.
Even if I had to keep my personal experience out of it, I would LOVE to see a thread on exactly the points you touched on as it relates to concerns for tops/Dominants. The risks we face, which can be completely different than the risks that s-types face. Not that I'm down-playing the risks that other kink orientations have at ALL. Just that it's not all one and none of the other.
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