Deal Breakers (Full Version)

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kyraofMists -> Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 12:20:29 PM)

What are your deal breakers for a relationship?  We all have them, so what are the things that will end a relationship even if the person is highly compatible in other ways with you?

For me, my biggest deal breakers were the lack of certain character strengths and a submissive personality.  Poly was not a deal breaker for me (guess that was obvious), but before I met my Lord, it was not something that I ever considered for myself.

Knight’s kyra




Taylore -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 12:25:25 PM)

For myself, the deal breaker would be
 
Master cutting off communication with me
Witholding of information from me that is important to our relationship
Deliberate abuse with the intent to harm me
 
Simple, but these are actually the ones that would cause the most damage to my relationship with Master.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 12:25:44 PM)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_154756/mpage_1/key_deal%252Cbreakers/tm.htm#154756
deal breakers

Reposted:
My deal breakers are generally the same for all relationships, but with a few specific differences.

Deal breakers tend to be the same as hard limits (in fact I'd consider using them as synonyms) though "deal breakers" can be more personality conflicts or personal issues that have nothing to do with any action or reaction on the d-side of the slash. For example "he never brushes his teeth, that's a deal breaker" doesn't mean that you have some limit on teeth brushing, simply that as a compatibility issue for forming a relationship with someone, it's not what you consider a good thing.

But the two are so synonymous I don't think it would be wrong to use them the same way for the most part.




IndigoDadesi -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 12:27:32 PM)

You know, I was going to put down my one deal breaker: if he stopped trying, but then I realized that this simply isnt true. I have no deal breakers. I have the sort of relationship where certain actions, or lack there of, do not mean that we care for one another any less.

Im not trying to say that my relationship is a better one than those with defined dealbreakers, but we've already moved pasted many things that I originally thought would be my deal breakers and now that I know their true causes Im glad that we are still together.




Lashra -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 12:28:01 PM)

The deal breaker for me is: a male supremist, drugs/booze/smoking, religion thats not compatible with mine, slob, disrespectful, doesn't like my unmentionable or animals, illresponsible. I'm sure there are more but those are the main ones that would do it.

~Lashra




SexyRed -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 12:33:27 PM)

abuse of any kind, lying, cheating, stealing, hating one's family and friends and not trying to be civil, bad hygiene, lack of common goals for the future, unreliable and laziness, that would about do it.




MasterFireMaam -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 12:34:26 PM)

Except for the disobedience one, these apply to non Ms relationships, too.

Abandonment If you abandon me and/or the family while in any token or collar, this is a deal breaker. Abandonment means leaving without notice or discussion. In other words, you disappear. The longer you are gone without deliberate contact, the harder it will be for you to regain my trust should you try. In order for me to be an effective Master, I must trust that you will not abandon me or the relationship.
Malicious Conduct Behaviors or actions done solely to hurt another, especially me, are deal breakers. Being cruel just for the sake of being cruel is unacceptable. There’s a difference between a humorous jab or a practical joke toward a friend and something planned just for the sake of doing harm. Things like stealing and such fall under this category.
Lying A blatant lie, told for cruel intent is a deal breaker. Lying in such a manner that affects me or a member of the family in a negative way, is a deal breaker. Since I know that I lie on occasion, I will try to be compassionate toward you in these instances. However, we all know there is a limit to what is and isn’t acceptable.
Disobedience I expect obedience, pure and simple. If you disobey for any other reason than you truly feel doing what I have ordered will harm you, this is a deal breaker. Being stubborn about doing, or not doing, something will only make me angry and the likelihood that I will remove your collar increases.


Master Fire





MmakeMme -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 12:48:36 PM)

An inherent lack of respect.




aleshaDreams -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:08:43 PM)

I know there are some, but at the same time I am sitting here reflecting on your inquiry and wondering if perhaps some of these are just issues that arise from miscommunication and lack of sound knowledge of the other person.  So although there perhaps could be some I am trying to pin point them exactly.  Things like drugs and abuse ect were brought up but the truth of the matter is that I would not get involved with someOne with those undesired characterists so in fact they are not deal breakers, they are non-issues.

Good question kyraofMists, you have my mind thinking :)

Best regards, ad. 




amayos -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:10:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

What are your deal breakers for a relationship? We all have them, so what are the things that will end a relationship even if the person is highly compatible in other ways with you?



Deal breakers for relations I may be considering with prospective servants are usually as follows:

I. Dishonesty of any form—including lies of omission;

II. Disrespect and / or clear evidence of insufficient incentive;

III. An STD or other form of transmittable disease.


For those who are already serving me, "deal breakers" usually only occur through the motif of repeated disobedience. There have been times when I have let others go out of consideration for their wellbeing, or when I simply feel I'm finished with them.




windchymes -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:12:47 PM)

Alcoholism, smoking, dishonesty, rudeness and treating others badly, and he'd have to be an animal lover.

Most of all, if he showed up at the beach in a speedo.




SaphireLynn -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:21:38 PM)

unTrust worthy, dishonesty and drugs are My deal breakers.




littlesarbonn -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:22:24 PM)

Chainsaws.




SirKenin -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:22:27 PM)

I like to think that I do not have any.  Anything can be worked through if you only put the effort into it.




Inhibitor -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:34:10 PM)

Fortunately, my personality and strata of tastes tend to circumvent any qualities I'd consider deal-breakers  (read: I'm far too strange for the vast majority of the population).

Except schizophrenia. Been there, ate the t-shirt, sold the ex for scrap.


(edit: I enjoy misspelling things)




kyraofMists -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:38:46 PM)

I have enjoyed the posts so far and many of them mention things that I consider to be character strengths, but what about the structure of the relationship?  Poly/Open/Monogamy, M/s or D/s...  Is a particular type of relationship a deal breaker?




SexyRed -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:40:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I have enjoyed the posts so far and many of them mention things that I consider to be character strengths, but what about the structure of the relationship?  Poly/Open/Monogamy, M/s or D/s...  Is a particular type of relationship a deal breaker?


Poly or Open would be a dealbreaker for a serious relationship for me. I don't share well.




Taylore -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:44:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I have enjoyed the posts so far and many of them mention things that I consider to be character strengths, but what about the structure of the relationship?  Poly/Open/Monogamy, M/s or D/s...  Is a particular type of relationship a deal breaker?

Not for me, no.  Master and I discussed many different aspects before we decided to go forward with our relationship. I knew he was poly, and he has encouraged me to be so also within the boundaries that have already been set. If Master was to suddenly decide that he no longer wanted to be poly, it is not something that would destroy our relationship ( in that same vein, if he was to suddenly decide that I was to be monogamous, it is not something that would bother me either ).
Master and I have a M/s relationship; if the dynamic was to change; we would work within the changes. Again, not something that would break a relationship for me.
However, I will admit to the fact that I could never be a Dominant or a Switch; and if such was required of me on a continous basis; I would have to sit down with Master and reassess the relationship dynamics.




DanielsHeart -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:49:08 PM)

If there is a deal breaker it would be a break in trust that could not be mended.    i never see that happening.

Daniel's heart




juliaoceania -> RE: Deal Breakers (8/8/2006 1:53:54 PM)

I have several deal breakers....

1) I do not want a smoker

2) No poly

3) They must be a dominant

4) Over the age of 39

5) Must have similiar spiritual and political beliefs as I do (and I said similar, not identical)




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