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RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 4/4/2005 10:19:37 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		You can't reason with people who are determined to be ignorant. But, it is fun to plot evil wickedness upon their persons. ;)

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(in reply to FistyMcfist)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/11/2005 2:17:32 PM   
Shannadaswitch


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/9/2005
Status: offline 		First off, I would like to thank the person who started this topic...

As a switch, I have ran into this problem of people not taking us (switches) seriously. and I do get quite pissed when we are looked at as outcasts of the BDSM society. Another thing that irritates the hell out of me is when a switch scenes with someone as a bottom, the top (or people that are watching) get the impression that the switch is THEIR slave or submissive, and treats them as such, instead of respecting the fact that they are switches.

I am just sick of all around not getting any respect. We (switches) are just as important and deserve just as much respect as any Dom/Domme, sub/slave, Master.

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/28/2005 4:06:42 PM   
MistressGypsy


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline 		AMEN!!!!!

I started out the oposite (did I spell that right?). I was always very submissive when I was a child but due to some trauma that I had to deal with I became quickly dominant only to protect myself. It was years later (when I accepted my first domme) that I finally began to let the walls down and let the submissive side of me out. From the time I was 12 until the time I was 20 I was solely a dominant female, but thanks to Phoenixrising, that has all changed. Yes, I will, as I term it, domme-out when need be and I have even done so on my own master but mostly I keep to my submissive side.... It seems to make me happier.

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/29/2005 3:48:48 PM   
Sweeticing


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/30/2004
Status: offline 		Boy would that ever piss me off I'm not sure if that even comes close to how I would feel.
But there is one thing I think pisses me off just as much. I get so sick of telling someone I'm a switch and there next questions is what do you prefer domme or submissive.
Why should I prefer either one. I would think if I preferred submissive That is what I would be, and vise verse. I totally roll my eyes when I get asked this. It is like having to explain myself over and over again. Often even if i have a interest in the person that ruins the conversation.

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quote:

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(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 5/31/2005 6:22:57 AM   
terah


Posts: 69
Joined: 12/17/2004
Status: offline 		being well rounded in this lifestyle choise is not a crime. I can relate to so many here who have experienced the prejudice from either side, but is it really prejudice or just Envy? I know who I am a well rounded pervert.




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(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 6/2/2005 9:32:15 PM   
LokeanWolfe


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Interestingly enough... in response to what the person said to the Switch in the opening post... I know many Switches who did not start as sub... and I know many Dominants who did not start as Dom, as well as many subs who did not start as sub.... Most of the Dominants that I know, were taught in the older ways of the lifestyle, of starting as a sub/slave, and having to earn the right to call themselves a Dom/Master... And I personally think that is as it should be, giving them a more rounded approach to many aspects of this life... And... Some of them occasionally will switch with the right person... I am one who identifies as Switch, although I have started out as sub, and am exploring my Dominant side... It in no way means that I don't know what I am, or that I am not wanting to choose one or the other... It simply means that I enjoy both sides, and see no reason to choose... Why should I choose? *shrugs*

~Loki


(in reply to terah)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 6/3/2005 9:01:35 AM   
foreverfrost


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/1/2005
Status: offline 		I was never familiar with the switch personality until I met my girlfriend. As a natural Dom who has had several subs and slaves it caught me completely off guard. I will say, switches tend to have more fun from what I see, easily passing back and forth depending on what is needed. Just my 2 cents

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(in reply to FistyMcfist)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 7/28/2005 10:19:51 PM   
batty24546


Posts: 43
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline 		I use to get the same coments when i said that i was bi-sexual...weather i am or not dosen't really matter, i'm still exploring that aspect of it as i am with many other things.

I may prefer women, but that dosen't mean that i can't have some fun with a guy if that is what i want. Just like i prefer the submissive side, but i can and often take both sides of the whip. I enjoy it, I want everything i can get from all sides of the rope.

You can't be one with out at least knowing of the other. There is no such thing as darkness with out knowing what it is to see light. Many just don't understand the mind frame, that ability to swtich between on and the other at ones free will.

I think the comments go back to the vanillia ideas of personalities. Either you are a submissive/passive type of person or your domiant, learder...but you can't be both. Either you straight or gay...not both. Its societys ideas of how things should be, and i am shock by how many narrow minded people there are in this world, who still can't or don't want to even try to under stand our point of view.

batty

(in reply to FistyMcfist)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 7/29/2005 4:28:59 PM   
MLapis


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline 		As soon as I read this I was reminded of my first explanation and intro by a friend to the BDSM lifestyle and she stated as LokeanWolfe has "Most of the Dominants that I know, were taught in the older ways of the lifestyle, of starting as a sub/slave, and having to earn the right to call themselves a Dom/Master... "
Its obvious this person who spoke to you, MistressKiss, was indeed quite ignorant, and most likely a wannabeloser.

-MLapis

(in reply to batty24546)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 7/31/2005 8:28:18 AM   
Raye


Posts: 35
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		im in agreement with Y/you all. nongender specific, poly,switchy babe i am. love my Tgrrl Mistress and love to do the Goddess with certain folks. im old enough and experienced enogh to know what i am, and be at peace with it too.hugs

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 8/5/2005 11:16:26 AM   
tonguetongue


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I started getting into punishing girls a few years ago and found I enjoyed it but I also found I enjoy being strangled as well I haven't yet met a woman who will let me experience being a sub or slave because they say, I have no experience (sort of like looking for a new job).

So I'm thinking I'm a switch thats more dominant?! I don't know. Anyways, I've tried talking to women on several sites about this and most of the time they get offended and start telling long sotries about they're gender based politcal beliefs and how I'm guilty of oppressing them or they say I'm only interested in emailing and chatting and not meeting them in real life. None of these are true but it seems like they lose interest in finding out firsthand quickly.

I think that discussing the possiblity of switching with doms, and subs, is a type of open wound that automatically upsets some of them because they have some time of belief system they're trying to live out. Like mentioning the difference in races of humans used to upset people a few years ago. As though saying africans have darker skin and skeletal and muscle tones different from europeans based on the climate they're ancestors evolved in is an offensive thing to say? It's the same with the evolution of men and women. Women as a general rule found masculine, dominating males to be more attractive for obvious reasons. Then we learned to read and write which lead to propaganda which is an easy way to change public opinon. But that seed of men seeking fertile big breasted woman who are attractive in subtle ways and women finding loudish alpha males attractive still lingers in the backburner of the majority of humans minds.

This most likely upsets those who embrace the propaganda the most. At least thats my take on it anyways I guess I could be wrong...

However it is fun to see that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Isn't it?

(in reply to FistyMcfist)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 8/7/2005 4:44:09 PM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Not wanting to piss of any Switches, but I think ya all have, something close to, the best of both worlds. Makes me want to explore the other side at least once to see what I might be missing. I just don't have the courage to bottom to anyone just yet. A few years ago when I first heard of the term switching, I didn't get it, but years later, I find myself hoping to get up the nerve to let my Dom side fade into the background so to experience letting someone else take the lead in a d/s exchange. If I ever get there, I will let everyone know how it turned out.

Rosa

(in reply to tonguetongue)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 8/8/2005 4:17:40 AM   
MrMasseur


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline 		I am very reluctant to use labels of any description these days, as the complexity of human nature appears to defy true scientific definitions.

What I have learned is that, just as in vanilla life, each relationship is unique, which means that I have absolutely no idea as to how I will react to another person until I have spent time getting to know that person.

It would be folly to dignify the ill-informed comments that gave rise to this thread with further comment. MistressKiss and those who have replied previously have said all that needs to be said - very eloquently and succinctly.

Kind wishes to all

Live and let live...

Masseur

< Message edited by MrMasseur -- 8/8/2005 4:18:26 AM >

(in reply to RosaB)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 8/8/2005 2:02:59 PM   
TheLioness


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I believe if one looks at the general daily lives of both those who identify as dominant and those who identify as submissives, one will find that they are in reality required to behave in either "role" as circumstance calls for. Not for nothing is it that I find amongst my clients and play partners some very powerful dominant personality type men and women who spend all day long being incredibly in charge in their roles as executives, cops, etc., who then come to me for respite and a trusted place to lay that dominance at my feet and be looked after themselves. Do they not "switch" roles with perfect ease when they come to me and then go back to work the next day? They wouldn't be successful if they couldn’t. As for myself (and some of the best FemDoms I personally know), there is balance and harmony in my life in having a place so trusted that I too can offer my Dom that power I so enjoy wielding on others. In my experience, those of us who switch easily and comfortably between roles are ourselves a bundle of dualities in all things. I am both feminine and butch, crass and elegant, loving and cruel, sadistic and masochistic... and the list goes on.. lucky me, lucky Sir, and all my lucky little subbies, I'm a complex, diverse and skilled FemDom, bisexual, polyamorist who switches if the dominant is an extraordinary one … tsk tsk, how dare I.

To quote the Dalai Lama: “When you are aware of your pain and suffering, it helps you to develop your capacity for empathy, the capacity which allows you to relate to other people’s feelings and sufferings. This enhances your capacity for compassion towards others.”

Domina Katrina

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 8/8/2005 3:23:32 PM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		MistressKiss laid it all out. That is how I feel. Being a switch is much harder than going one way. Everyone has their beliefs. I will respect yours, you respect mine. I so dislike closed-minded people.. That is what I see those who say you can't be a switch or there is no such thing.

Respectfully,
sultry

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For it is they who let in the light.


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(in reply to FistyMcfist)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 8/9/2005 5:06:19 AM   
Siresearching


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		I've only thus far found one other true switch that has ended up being one of the most satisfying sexual experiences I have ever shared with someone. We seem to just click when it comes to being in bed together we enjoy both taking the lead at diffrent times and there are even times we just enjoy being together as equals no one leading just being together. I think that is the key to a good switch relationship having that foundation of enjoying each other basicly vanilla.

(in reply to FistyMcfist)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 8/11/2005 9:55:35 AM   
cmatrix4761


Posts: 73
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I guess I can throw my own 2 cents in on this hot topic. Ironic that one would be nearly persecuted for being a switch. Those who don't understand the concept of switching don't like us alot (well, in some places, that is). I switch, myself, because I don't want to limit my experience to one or the other. I am more dominant than I am submissive, but how can I ask she who submits to me at a particular time to do something so sacred as letting me bind and 'torture' (as it pertains to play torture) her when I don't, myself, have a personal understanding of the experience? How can one have the right to do such to another when he/she themself is not intimately familiar with the process?
Well, I can't submit that such a narrowness exists with strictly doms or subs, as I am not experienced in doing just one or the other; but, how can you know you don't also like being dominant [at times] when you haven't tried it? It seem narrow to me.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of BDSM, I shall fear no submissives, for Domme art with me.

Heh, just some thoughts.
-- CM

< Message edited by cmatrix4761 -- 8/11/2005 9:56:44 AM >

(in reply to FistyMcfist)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 8/25/2005 5:18:04 PM   
MistressGrace07


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/29/2005
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		*rolls My eyes* I just can't believe people who believe you can't be a true Dom/me if you switch.. that's ABSURD. And that's saying what I really feel mildly.

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(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 9/3/2005 6:56:46 AM   
oppe98


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		In my situation I realize that things are never black and white. No one is completely Dom all the time or sub all the time. If that were the case we would have chaos and disorder in society. At times people need to accept others authority and take leadership and control of their own lives. As a commentary on society it seems logical that many more would identify as switch than with Dom or Sub. Now if we look in the lifestyle we see there is a abundance of Dom types and sub types but switches seem to be persecuted such as bisexuals have been in the past.
Now that is all generalized and rather broad I know.
I have noticed an increasing number of Switches who are younger. I am in my 20's still but have been active for over 10 years. I have been attending munches for much of that time and I find many of the new people identify as switches until they find someone who complements their Dom or Sub side. Does that mean they are not true switches. I believe it doesn't since at times you may come across someone who compliments your opposite side.
Wow I have dragged and rambled on again.
be well all.

(in reply to MistressGrace07)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How To Piss Off A Switch In One Easy Lesson... - 9/5/2005 1:12:27 AM   
raeanha


Posts: 75
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with soooooooooooo much of what's been said here.

For myself, being dominant or submissive is most often a response to the wants and needs of the object of my attention. I think more in terms of giving or taking rather than Domming, or subbing. And we all know there are very giving Doms and very self centered subs out there. I also look for a giving person to spend time with, without regard to their D/s orientation.

Ultimately, human beings are far to complex to be nailed down by labels, and far too silly a bunch to be taken seriously.

(in reply to oppe98)
Profile   Post #: 40
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