RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do?

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/10/2006 5:05:45 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer
While at a fetish event or munch she is to be in My presence at all times, with exception to restroom which she politely will request permission, she is not permitted to speak to anyone until returning back to Me and again with permission only may she do so, unless of course we know them very well. Further, she will address all known Dom/me's as Sir or Ma'am.

Are your rules flexible enough that, at a convention, you could go to one class and she could go to another? I've seen so many couples that stick together like glue even when they want to go to separate classes that happen to be at the same time. I think it really limits the exposure and experience of the event. There's so much to be crammed into a short period already.

Does she wear a sign around her neck so that people will not think she is rude when they ask her a polite question and she does not respond?

How does she refer to switches? And what if the dominant requests NOT to be called sir or maam?

I'll answer for us.

I encourage Fox to go to his own lectures and workshops at convention. His job is to make my life easier, part of my responsibility to him is to encourage him to become the best person and slave he can be. Hearing other view points and given his own helps in this I believe.

Fox may talk to whomever he wishes; he is not allowed to call anyone by a title. "Sir" or "Ma'am" are forms of politeness not a title and he uses them regular, thank his parents for that, not me. If someone asks to be called by a title he knows he is to tell them that he is not allowed to do so; if they insist, he knows he is to walk away from them. If they don't wish to be called by "sir" or "ma'am" but only a name, I'm sure he'd give them a huge smile and happily do that because he does like to be valued as an equal human being unless he's negotiated otherwise.

When we are together at a convention he does get my permission to go to events without me and when he is with me, he carries almost everything. In general though I am so busy at the bookstore or with readers or with others that I think it's a better use of his time at these rare events for us to be helping with the store or mingling himself. We only attend a few each year and I bring him for my comfort not merely to show him off. If I don't need him at that moment he's hardly providing me with much comfort.

I'm generally so tired by the end of the day at these things that I have allowed him to go out with friends even to go to associated play parties with friends. He is a switch and that is a good time for him to release some switch top energy.

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/10/2006 10:46:20 PM

Mavis

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Thank You All for sharing.. i have asked several times about personal protocols, and Masters reply is He wants those things to be a personal response that come from me, not dictated by Him.. Also, feels very strongly that too much ritual can become rote habit and loose it's original meaning. i'm not looking for things to copy, but things that communicate (and reinforce) a mindset.

You've all added some wonderful ideas to my list.. i especially like the left handed drinking.. i could adapt that to remind me of serving Two by using both hands.. but that does require i un-hand the mouse! Eating and drinking after They have begun seems sound, don't know why it never occured to me! This is why i never claimed to be "a natural submissive".. this stuff doesn't just occur to me naturally, i have to pull on blades of grass every inch of the way up the hill!

MasterFireMaam, i really like the greeting basket. When Mr comes home, i could see having His "civ-couch clothes" in a basket by the shower.. He works construction and His first 30 mins home is always dumping the supply pockets and showering.

Those are more service things than ritual things, but still, info very much appreciated here! LA, i will be looking carefully at those links You posted, thank You so much for the resources.

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/11/2006 12:14:00 AM

abytchgoddess4u

Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I would like this thread to be for those that do or want to have Rituals and Protocals in their relationship dynamic. So are some of the ones that you do or would like to do? Is there a specific reason for them?

Rituals and protocols have always varied for me, dependant upon the sub, and the depth of the dynamic. Whether short or LTR though, I insist they address any of my requests/commands with, "As you wish." Even if they request more time or a slight variable, their response must always end with that. If they comply immediately, it is simply that.

What can I say...I'm a sucker for The Princess Bride.

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/11/2006 9:39:13 AM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer
While at a fetish event or munch she is to be in My presence at all times, with exception to restroom which she politely will request permission, she is not permitted to speak to anyone until returning back to Me and again with permission only may she do so, unless of course we know them very well. Further, she will address all known Dom/me's as Sir or Ma'am.

Are your rules flexible enough that, at a convention, you could go to one class and she could go to another? I've seen so many couples that stick together like glue even when they want to go to separate classes that happen to be at the same time. I think it really limits the exposure and experience of the event. There's so much to be crammed into a short period already.

Does she wear a sign around her neck so that people will not think she is rude when they ask her a polite question and she does not respond?

How does she refer to switches? And what if the dominant requests NOT to be called sir or maam?

I said ''all known'' Dom/me's'' if it happens that someone we know prefers a different title, thats fine. Same would apply to switchs, if we knew any. Oh wait, theyre is one and she doesnt give a damn what I call her.

As for seperate classes at an event I doubt highly that would happen, but if she wanted to sit in on a class that coincided time-wise then I may consider it.

I find your 'sign' remark bordering rudeness, Ive been around long enough attending events to know some attendees arent as politeful as they appear. Its the safety of My girl that is paramount, not whether or not someone feels its rude. If they have a problem with that they can certainly come bring it to Me directly.

Pointing out also that KOM's thread is not about arguing points of merits pertaining to ones preferences regarding personal protocols

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/11/2006 9:50:09 AM

SirLordTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I like a hug and a kiss and a "How was your day?" when I get home after work.

I like going to the gym/sauna/hot tub every Mon/Wed/Fri.

I like going bowling at least every other Tuesday.

Otherwise...nada. And all of those have arisen only since moving to Austin. I'm not even sure they could be considered rituals vs routines.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_512995/mpage_1/key_ritual/tm.htm#513015
Daily Routines

http://www.collarchat.com/m_307839/mpage_1/key_daily%252Croutine/tm.htm#307839
Structure

http://www.collarchat.com/m_99518/mpage_1/key_daily%252Croutine/tm.htm#99518
day to day in the lifestyle

http://www.collarchat.com/m_83995/mpage_1/key_daily%252Croutine/tm.htm#83995
Need help...consistency problems

http://www.collarchat.com/m_45593/mpage_1/key_daily%252Croutine/tm.htm#45593
routine

http://www.collarchat.com/m_504581/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#504854
Rituals...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_229409/mpage_1/key_ritual/tm.htm#229409
Purpose of ritual and types

http://www.collarchat.com/m_234894/mpage_1/key_ritual/tm.htm#234894
Ritual in anticipation of time together

http://www.collarchat.com/m_242681/mpage_1/key_ritual/tm.htm#242681
rituals, your favorite and why?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_110/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#110
rituals

http://www.collarchat.com/m_7380/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#7380
protocols

http://www.collarchat.com/m_48910/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#48910
special rituals please?!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_97744/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#97744
rituals (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_296210/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#296210
favorite rituals

I think those are away from the OPs thread here. What does you going to the 'gym/sauna' have to do with having your sub/slave performing ritual/protocol or the price of eggs for that matter

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/11/2006 9:53:33 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer
I think those are away from the OPs thread here. What does you going to the 'gym/sauna' have to do with having your sub/slave performing ritual/protocol or the price of eggs for that matter

As I said, these might be considered routines and not really rituals at all, so I might really have no rituals to speak of in day to day life.

But these are times of my life where I expect my partners to respect as priority and not interrupt without good cause.

Rituals are not solely for subs and slaves. Many are done with dom and sub, and doms can and do enjoy their own rituals as well.

Although we do plan on having a small christmas tree, lighting the menorah and celebrating the solstice this year- those are all rituals we engage in. So we're not completely anti ritual :)

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/11/2006 1:14:45 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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Ah, I love ritual, but not so much that it takes over! And much of ritual is routine.
Like TammyJo, I have positions, and jonathan is learning some of them now, on his own, while he is away from Me. I look forward to seeing him present and know how well he is doing.
In addition, even though he is away from Me for a few more weeks, he has specific routines, and it is helpful to him to follow these. This includes greeting Me (even though I am not physically there) with certain words, and then proceeding to prepare for an evening of service. This also keeps him in mind of the fact that he is collared and training to be with Me full time.
I love My bath ritual, and that will be expanded upon once he is with Me full time. And he knows he will be getting his "lilypad" which will be used when he his sitting or kneeling at My feet. Forms of address are also important and to be used properly at all times.
Much of what I expect is already written in our contract such as how to conduct himself while shopping (carrying all packages, etc.), driving, escorting Me to events (vanilla, as well as lifestyle) and interacting with family and friends. So he studies that on a regular basis, and he knows that he can call Me if he needs to during this time apart.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 9/11/2006 1:15:54 PM >

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/11/2006 1:50:47 PM

denika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I would like this thread to be for those that do or want to have Rituals and Protocals in their relationship dynamic. So are some of the ones that you do or would like to do? Is there a specific reason for them?

This is an intresting question, from the perspective of a bottom I really don't have any set ritual aside from the things I do out of respect or because I know the person will enjoy it or likes something a certian way.

I am a bit of two minds on it, a part of me loves rituals with meanings, even little ones can hold a lot of meaning and power. But I also have a very hard time with repititon, Rob likes to describe it that I "live in the land of chaos" I love the unexpected, well not always if it is something negative but I like unpredictibilty.
I would be intrested in rituals to see how they could be incorperated. I do already have some little ones. With Rob we never go to bed without saying I love you, corny I know but it is something we both do. Now that he is working out of town regularily this little phone call is so very important. The other I have with him is I make sure the coffee pot is filled and ready when he is home.

A bed-time ritual might help with him and I being so far apart but then again he and I don't really have that type of dynamic.

lol, and I have my own little weird ritual of always taking my shoes and socks off when I enter a house ( I make a point of doing that in the homes of people I know *S*)

Hmm what would I like to do.....

Asking permision to speak, mm might be really hard but might help me to remember not to blurt things out or interupt.

a bed time ritual, I work shifts so that would be a challenge but worth it

those are the only things that really pop to mind but aside from living in the land of chaos I have to admit trying to live in the land of structure might be intresting as well.

denika

**edited to fix the spelling gremlins that steal vowels ****

< Message edited by denika -- 9/11/2006 1:52:16 PM >

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/13/2006 11:09:10 AM

popeye1250

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I'm sans sub right now but when I find one we will surely sit down and talk about rituals and protocols.
Of course I would be interested in a subs likes in this area as well.
I think those should be talked about up front but you can also add or subtract more later.
I do think there should be a greeting ritual.

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/13/2006 11:15:30 AM

Caitriona

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My Dom and I are still working out what sorts of rituals and protocol we want to use within our marriage. The only thing we do so far is that I do not ever remove or put on my collar - he does that for me.

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RE: Rituals and Protocals... which ones do you do? - 9/13/2006 2:50:13 PM

jamesthehumanrug

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GREETINGS POPEYE SANS,
IS IT OK TO HUMBLE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE AND KISS THE FOOT OR BE IN SUBMISSIVE RITUAL ANYWHERE;ANYTIME ,OR IN NON S AND M PLACES ?OR IS ,THAT, JUST, FOR THE ELITE?; IE: = THE HIGHER UP YOU GO;THE LESS RULES THERE ARE?....

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