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slave/sub or piggybank - 4/29/2004 7:56:53 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/22/2004
Status: offline

i dont intend to be sinical, but i was hopeing some-one could help me distinguish between
a Domme who wants a slave\sub for the slave\sub as aposed to a Domme who only wants money.

(im guessing they are rare based on the tramatic decrease in messages i have been reciveing since i removed the specifics of my anual income and net worth)

i apologize to anyone who might find my question rood or distastefull, and thank those who take the time to pardon my ignorance and share there knowledge

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 4/29/2004 8:13:54 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline

Hello devo,

Here is my take on this...and yes someone did reply to your post as shocking as it may be...

.

If a sub/slave wishes to be a money slave/submissive then that should be discussed at the beginning of the realtionship and not when the sub/slave takes a collar.In the process of negotiations all perameters should be set (limits,expectations,rules etc).

Personally....unless it is part of the persons kink i feel that a Dom/Domme should be fully self supporting and not rely on a sub/slave to support them.

This is my opinion on this subject...be well and take care

(in reply to devozione)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 4/29/2004 9:23:00 PM

Posts: 247
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline

If your posting your net worth, then I could see why Dommes would be contacting you for money because they think all your worth is money. I would suggest not talking about money so you can get people to want you for you, not your money.

_____________________________

D/s makes the world go round~~
www.Domina.ms/love

(in reply to devozione)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 4/30/2004 4:36:25 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

devozione,

It is an ufortunate fact that there is a double standard. Men want women who look like Barbie. There are exceptions, but generally that is correct.

Women are not as fascinated by good looks as by a good wallet. Yes there are exceptions, but finding them is tough. For some reason that is more acceptable. (C'mon a guy who wants D cups only is a sexist pig, but a woman who wants a "finacially secure man who knows how to treat a Lady" just wants a certain type of man?

The sexist pig only wanted a certain type too.)

You're mission, devozione, is to find the exceptions.

BTW, I know I'll get lots of angry women responding. I always get angry women responding.

(It is a fetish of mine.

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to devozione)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 4/30/2004 12:06:06 PM

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

devozione,

It is an ufortunate fact that there is a double standard. Men want women who look like Barbie. There are exceptions, but generally that is correct.

Women are not as fascinated by good looks as by a good wallet. Yes there are exceptions, but finding them is tough. For some reason that is more acceptable. (C'mon a guy who wants D cups only is a sexist pig, but a woman who wants a "finacially secure man who knows how to treat a Lady" just wants a certain type of man? The sexist pig only wanted a certain type too.)

From what i have seen in the past few years i would have to agree with you iwill. BUT. . . . . exceptions to the rule are out there, and are well worth the wait.

And before everyone starts sending me "crap mail" let me say; i realize everyone has their own wants and needs. i just don't happen to want or need a shallow man who can not see me for who i am and what i have to offer, besides my body.

i also have to agree with GoddessMarissa,

quote:

If your posting your net worth, then I could see why Dommes would be contacting you for money because they think all your worth is money. I would suggest not talking about money so you can get people to want you for you, not your money.

IMO ~ Obviously you were trying to make a statement with your net worth or you wouldn't have put it up there. i have known several male subs, and not one of them has ever put their net worth on their profile.

Best wishes on your search

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by feline -- 4/30/2004 2:11:53 PM >

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/2/2004 9:36:47 PM

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline

My own personal opinion is that a Dom/me (either pro/lifestyle or both) shouldn't have any need to approach a sub/slave.
It's undignified (I feel).
subs/slaves should seek out a Master/Mistress.

(in reply to feline)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/3/2004 10:02:10 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SternMistress

My own personal opinion is that a Dom/me (either pro/lifestyle or both) shouldn't have any need to approach a sub/slave.
It's undignified (I feel).
subs/slaves should seek out a Master/Mistress.

but then there are those who think it's presumptuous for a slave/submissive to contact a dominant and that a slave/sub should wait to be approached.

~sigh~ too many opinions!

(in reply to SternMistress)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/3/2004 11:57:21 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline

I can see that, too, perverseangelic.
I don't think it's presumptious to send a mail to a Dom/me politely enquiring if that Dom/me has any need of a sub/slave.
The majority of mails I get are very polite and respectful, I do get the occasional "idiot mail", but they go exactly where they belong - in the trash.
I also get many mails from subs/slaves who simply wish to compliment me in some way, I think that a Dom/me should be gracious and least thank the sender for their compliment.
Again, speaking for myself, I think that a Dom/me should be one to look up to, not just dish out punishment and rudeness as and when they feel like it (as so many do).

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/3/2004 3:28:05 PM

Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

There is NO One True Way. Do what works for you, and find someone who has similar opinions. If you're of a mind to contact dominants and some of them dislike that, then they're likely not a good match for you. If you prefer to sit back and wait to be courted, then those who refuse to contact bottoms (and are likely a poor match) won't be contacting you.

Figure out what suits YOU, and work from there.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/4/2004 1:35:37 PM

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SherriA

There is NO One True Way. Do what works for you, and find someone who has similar opinions. If you're of a mind to contact dominants and some of them dislike that, then they're likely not a good match for you. If you prefer to sit back and wait to be courted, then those who refuse to contact bottoms (and are likely a poor match) won't be contacting you.

Figure out what suits YOU, and work from there.

Hear Hear!

(in reply to SherriA)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/4/2004 8:19:31 PM

Posts: 40
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i just don't happen to want or need a shallow man who can not see me for who i am and what i have to offer, besides my body.

Good point. But to look at the other side of the coin, why should men have to deal with women that cant see what they have to offer other than a steady paycheck/fat wallet/whatever ?? are these women then shallow as well?

_____________________________

It is a tops business to produce intense and specific sensations in their bottoms: the top's pleasure is their own business

(in reply to feline)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/4/2004 10:01:02 PM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

devozione, if you offer yourself, all that you are, all that you own, for the happiness and bliss of your Goddess...what does that include??? If you put your annual income on your profile, those who view your profile are going to naturally assume that (with your words) that is included. Even if you take it off of your profile, if you submit yourself in service to someone "all that I am, all that I own" pretty much includes your income as far as your Goddess is concerned.

I read a profile earlier today that said something like this:

financial servitude: within reason (after 24/7 negotiated)

That may be something you would want to consider incorporating into your profile if this is an issue for you.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to devozione)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/5/2004 6:00:56 AM

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: devozione

i dont intend to be sinical, but i was hopeing some-one could help me distinguish between
a Domme who wants a slave\sub for the slave\sub as aposed to a Domme who only wants money.

(im guessing they are rare based on the tramatic decrease in messages i have been reciveing since i removed the specifics of my anual income and net worth)

i apologize to anyone who might find my question rood or distastefull, and thank those who take the time to pardon my ignorance and share there knowledge

devozione:

I'm afraid you've been tagged by the proverbial catch 22.

I cannot count the number of times a gentleman has approached me believing that his net worth was a selling point in selling himself to a dominant woman. Now, in fairness to the guy I can completely understand if you have worked hard all your life to achieve what you have achieved then it could indeed be a positive statement about the kind of man you are. Unfortunately, when you use anything as a 'selling point' you are going to get people who are interested in buying and selling who respond. You attract that to yourself.

My suggestion would be to consider what sort of statement your net worth makes about the person you are. I'll example: I'm someone who follows through on commitments, I'm the sort of person who is very goal oriented, I work hard and do not give up, etc. Conversely it could also say "I'm a lazy slob who inherited my money and believe that I should get what I want without having to work for it" or any variation thereof.

What does your net worth mean to you? Is it just a dollar figure or is it a statement about the kind of person you are? If it's the latter then make THAT statement in your 'sales pitch' of yourself rather than just a dollar figure.

I think what I'm trying to say is "If you're thirsty, don't go to a dry well." You are fishing for deep sea fish with a fly fishing lure. A woman of substance is going to be interested in who you are inside. Yes, she's also likely to be interested in whether or not you are self sufficient and can carry your weight, but that information comes in time.

If you consider your ability to provide to be something worthwhile that you bring to the table then find another way to present it that speaks to someone who is interested in your inner workings rather than your bank account. If you present your bank account then you are going to attract people who are interested in your bank account.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to devozione)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/12/2004 3:45:08 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

A good take take on it is ShowMeTheMoney

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to devozione)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/20/2004 10:14:15 PM

Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Nice one iwill, I'd never clicked on that before - I applaud your choice!

roflllll

~ShadeDiva

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 5/26/2004 10:29:57 AM

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline

I am in two minds about this whole financial bit.

One the one hand I think that anyone looking for a good relationship, wether in the Vanilla world or otherwise, should be looking at the person, rather than their wallet. Sugar Daddies and Mummies are a little tacky.

On the other hand I absolutely love to get presents and one of my greatest rushes is taking photographs of myself ( narcissist through and through) and so I really really like to sell pictures of myself, particularly to foot fetishists. I get so excited when I get presents and gifts and the like that I suppose it could be considered almost a fetish for me. Its better than any sex I've had lately anyway!

I think its personal choice. I've been thinking about the financial domination thing quite alot lately and did try the demand approach as an experiment today to see what happens ( poor bloke, sorry about that) and frankly it felt weird. Didn't like it at all. Everything has to be fair for me- I will only talk with guys whom I know will enjoy any domination I administer. There's no point other wise, smacks of prositution.

Well, thats my ramble over and done with.

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/7/2004 3:28:21 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline

indeeeeeed.Whereas i see the point of money gifting ,I have always felt that a Domme should be secure enuff to not need to rely on Subs and Slaves to "pay the rent"( thats kinda sounds a like someone Needs someone, and not the way it should be) Call me Old Fashioned, but if Payment in Cash is made to a Domme, then correct me if I am wrong, but did I just not PAY for service? And if I am Paying, does that not mean I am Controling My Own Destiny? Whereas I can see Cash Gifts or Finacial Servitude could be incorperated into a Life, I also think that if its a Main Requirment, you may want to explore other areas. I find it hard to fathom that someone could internaly enjoy finacial Rape, although my own experience teaches me that people are odd indeed. Maybe someone does. But if you need to keep a steady Flow of Cash directed at a Master or Mistress or risk being dismissed, In my eyes, your "dating an escort".

(in reply to ThePrincess)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/7/2004 11:23:42 PM

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

devozione, why the grumpy bum? Would it be any different offline if you went around proclaiming nett worth as selling point? Our profiles are selling points, photos, voice, these boards...everything we do or say is being measured...just as we measure the nuainces of people in real life vs the facts of themselves as presented to us by them.

There was a thread before asking about the importance of communication in relationships...the responses a unanimous yes, but I pondered how many people say that, without asking the question 'how honest?' is this person/am I being here?

Putting something like you're nett worth on a profile, while an innocent act for most, is used as a hook by many...men buy sex...women sell sex. What is 'sex'? Is it just the act? Or is it everything you did, every moment you breathed, every action you caused, to getting it? Is it the promise of? Whatever the driving forces, the lure of money, using or wanting, innocent or otherwise, is found in every sector of society and will be no different on here.

You've learnt a timely cyber lesson. The same lesson women learn when they realise the idea of 'men' online can be generalised as 'looking for sex' or are 'players'. The fact these have being Dominant women is neither here nor there. Another timely cyber lesson...don't believe all you read...you're believing these women to be Dominant just as readily as they are willing to believe your nett worth.

Yes it can be offensive to think these women may have only being interested in your 'worth', but the same offense can be taken by women who only get approached when they have a pretty - to - provocative picture?

As genders we both have our crosses to bear...the trick is to not be the one carry it.

But who is anyone here to condemn, dismiss or stereotype monetary relationships? Or why 'gifts' should be considered anymore tasteful than hard cold cash when they both give the same result?

Whether it be D/s or vanilla, as long as all parties involved consent to the boundaries of the relationship, I see no reasons why any monetary or gifts should be considered distasteful?

For me the honesty with which the relationship is conducted means more than the pedantics around it.

Jasymn

(in reply to devozione)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/8/2004 8:16:25 PM

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

If devozione, was doing what most sub/slaves do, following directions. The profile asked the question and he responded with an answer, his networth. And yes, I have seen a very large percentage of Dommes whating "tribute". Myself what I have been getting is a larger number of males who want me to support them. Interesting isn't it that as the electronics improve so does the greed? Good luck devozione, all the advice I can give is patience is a virtue, and honesty will win out in the end. Sundew

quote:

Enjoy the ride, the landing might be a bit rough.

(in reply to devozione)

RE: slave/sub or piggybank - 6/9/2004 9:24:21 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/9/2004
Status: offline

If you are a true slave, all that you have belongs to your master. Now if your just playing and posting your net worth as bait on the hook ... you'll catch only snakes.

(in reply to devozione)

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