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To whom it may concern - 12/13/2005 8:48:28 PM   
foureyejack


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline 		I'm just writing, I think there are people like me out there. I'm not looking for answers because I found my answer and then lost it.
I'm one of those married men (you know a want-a-be) who lost his way and his love.
I went looking. Looking for sex, fun and adventure of the erotic kind. What I found suprised me. At first I thought that it was just curiosity and I was very pleased that some people showed intrest in me.
My first expeirence was with a sexual Domme. She trained me on line for a time which I found to be very erotic and exciting. I looked foward to hearing from Her. It gave me a reason to be, something to look fowaed to and work for.
I did meet Her but It didn't work out. I had concerns (it didn't fit) I won't get in to it here. I went looking for advice, right here at Collerme and found what I was looking for without even knowining it.
I learned what it is to be a submissive from this person! There was no sex! Something I thought I really wanted? I found something inside me that was more intense, something that explained my inner self. She answered alot of questions I had about myself.
One day I came home and was confronted by my wife, She found out about me and my Domme (I won't get into this too). Now, I had to make a choice, stay with my wife or leave?
I did tell my wife that I wanted an open marraige or divorce 2 months previously, and it was an on going thing for use. Things where not good and had not been for years.
I decided to stay, there where many reasons for my decision.
I end things with my Domme!
I regret doing that now, but it's something I'm going to have to live with.
You all may not agree with what I have done, I sure don't! I wish I knew what I was 20 years ago, but I didn't. I screwed up by leaving my Domme and not my wife.
Now I'm leaving my wife and I don't have my Domme.

Yes this is short and missing many details, but I had the need to write about this and maybe help othere's out there to understand.
Think what you will.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/13/2005 9:01:10 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: foureyejack

Yes this is short and missing many details,


WOW....... you weren't kidding there. I know you said not looking for advice. Good thing because i'm stumped. All I can say is... Good Luck. But also, be happy with your choice you have made now. No need to dwell on the past. Just learn from it. May you again, find the happiness you had in one, with another.

Jessica

(in reply to foureyejack)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/13/2005 9:19:18 PM   
windy135


Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		I say have no regrets! You tried to work things out with your wife it seems but they were just not workable. I'm usually not one of those happy go lucky life is sweet people. But take for granted that you can now discover even more about yourself. This lonely feeling you are having won't last forever. I wish you the best :)

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/14/2005 12:23:11 AM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		I was married for 5 years and lived with my ex for 5 before that. There were many problems that I tried to work out. What I found is that if one person only is trying to row a boat it just goes in circles.
At one point my ex told me if I needed to step out on her, just don’t let her know.
It wasn’t long after that I became emotionally divorced. It just took sometime for my body to catch up.
I believe that to many people BDSM is as necessary to their living as food or water. And if you cannot get it at home, well you will be looking for it somewhere.
Sad, but true.
Tony

(in reply to foureyejack)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/14/2005 12:43:08 AM   
MissDiandSirHugh


Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline 		as already stated you did the right thing and stayed with your wife to see if that could be fixed or worked out but to no avail and we can only guess that the time with her must have had its good parts so you removed your self from your Dom to also appease your wife and her feelings so on all fronts you tried to make it work there but to no avail so now is the time to look ahead and to begin to search again and to discover a new horizon and what it hides over the top of it for you and we wish you well in your search.

_____________________________

HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to foureyejack)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/14/2005 3:20:33 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		sometimes cheating unfortunately works its way back at you. I hope you find what you want and not hurt a future partner doing so. Best of luck to you.

(in reply to foureyejack)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/14/2005 10:08:58 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		foureyedjack, i think most of us can empathise with your story and your present circumstances. Love and longing have made all of us fools, at least if we've lived long enough. You can find support here, on the boards, for whatever that's worth.

Meantime, though you specifically said "no advice"; i will tell you i have had things/people i loved wrenched away from me; at my age (52) i can either look back or forward; i cannot do both. So i look forward. Occasionally a thought about what i have lost will drift across my mind, almost shocking me, and i just say , "i'm happier now" and forget it.

i'm not happier because i have found my One (the search comtinues) but because of the recognition of what type of person i truely am; a submissive. And for the friends in D/s i have made who are blessings in my life.

candystripper

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/14/2005 6:28:33 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Not all relationships are meant to be 'forever.' In this day few are. I have my own theories about why, but I won't get into that now.

Once you make a decision the only thing left to do is find the good in the experience. Otherwise you create your own suffering and it can be endless. Perhaps you needed to move out of a situation that was bad and the relationship with the dominant woman was the catalyst that enabled that; and that's all that relationship was really meant to be - a catalyst. Now you have a new beginning and a new, more experienced perspective and understanding of yourself. A new opportunity to create the sort of life you will be happy in. I'd call that a good thing.

I suppose you could just continually kick yourself over it, but do you get anything out of that?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to foureyejack)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/15/2005 8:42:25 PM   
LuvSponge


Posts: 109
Joined: 4/11/2004
Status: offline 		I smell "I can't wait to read what I wrote" here.

_____________________________

No matter if you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.

(Unless of course she tells you otherwise).

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/16/2005 2:42:28 AM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Life is to explored. We explore, we learn, and move on. The experience(s) was to teach you something, not to walk away disappointed or with regrets. Learn the lesson(s), apply them to your life, and become a better and happer human being.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to foureyejack)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/16/2005 3:13:39 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Learn from your mistakes and move on

(in reply to fldrkhorse)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/16/2005 3:23:20 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello foureyejack,
It took a lot of courage to come here and air your dirty laundry so to speak.
I wish you luck in finding not only a Domme to fill the new needs you have, but in finding out who you are as well.
Good Luck,
sub suzanne

(in reply to foureyejack)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/16/2005 5:41:18 AM   
SelkiePet1


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		I just want to say foureyejack, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you.

It must be really painful.

My master and I have often said how lucky we are that things worked out for us - and how agonizing if you are in a relationship and your partner doesn't share your passion.

I hope things work out for you - the positive thing is that now you are free to explore, without the guilt which can impinge on your enjoyment.

Keep well and keep in touch.

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/16/2005 7:44:48 AM   
sub4mistressnsir


Posts: 89
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		foureyejack... we all have regrets over something but ya know what.. we live, we learn, we move forward..
Now for something funny.. I was married for 10yrs, we got divorce and are now friends.. we at the time wanted different things.. I wanted to explore bdsm he didn't at all... Now though 4 yrs after divorce, he is getting into the lifestyle himself.. He told me a week ago.. now I know what you mean and why you wanted it.. Although we will never get back together it is nice to know that both of us have found what we are/were looking for.
Moral of the story.. In time you find what you strive for.
~sub

(in reply to SelkiePet1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: To whom it may concern - 12/16/2005 4:02:53 PM   
AquarianButerfly


Posts: 25
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline 		Do not regret the choices that you made. They were learning experiences. Take what you have learned and enjoy life to the fullest, now that you know what makes you happy. Best Wishes and Good Luck

_____________________________

AquarianButerfly

(in reply to foureyejack)
Profile   Post #: 15
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