dreamlady
Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
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This is what I wrote earlier in the day before your original post (OP) was changed, and it primarily applies to your topic title. I can't remember how much of it you revised, but both your posts here cover what's already contained in your profile. You actually toned things down to not come across as overly fetishy, but perhaps someone else can benefit from what I couldn't post earlier?
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Welcome back, and better luck this go round. I've also taken a hiatus from this site here and there over the years. It's good of you to indicate in your profile that you have some switch tendencies, to put it out there and not try to hide that aspect of yourself.
Please take this as a constructive comment and not as criticism. You are certainly entitled to own your fetishes. However, when it comes to Dominant ladies, we tend to not like being sexually objectified or defined by a sub's fetish(es). Why? Other than the glaringly obvious and objectionable objectification part, fetishists are essentially saying that any woman fitting the bill, will do. This is depersonalizing and doesn't treat a Domme (or any other person) as an individual.
I know many women of color who are turned off by men with ethno-racial fetishes. I happen to be one of them. If a man comes to me saying that he has an Asian female fetish and/or mistakes me for a Latina or some other ethnic group, he can talk to the hand. If he says he prefers exotic women, then I won't hold that against him. Do you see the distinction?
There are African-American Dommes who do not want to be referred to as an "Ebony Goddess," whether they are relationship-oriented or not (which you say that you are). In fact, I had a sub contact me who kept going on and on about "ebony" this and "ebony" that. I replied only to bring it to his attention that I am not black. His reasoning was that the "Other" category meant I must be an Ebony Goddess for his unworthy self to worship. 
I'm not saying that there aren't Ladies who don't prefer having a "white boy" sub, but by focusing on this or other racial characteristics at the forefront of your search, you and others are declaring loud and clear that unalterable external features and outward appearances are your highest priority to the exclusion of all else, and it can make you appear to be shallow, indiscriminate, and overly slutty -- and there is already a glut of those kinds of males everywhere. Not an prudent selling point given the scarcity of what you seek.
Just sayin'
DreamLady
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Ky submissive male looking for Ebony Goddess. - 
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