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Having the Master sit down and "talk" to a sl... - 7/30/2007 2:08:48 PM   
labrat18610


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		I've had three gay Masters. Not one of them ever sat down and "talked" to me. Since, it was a 24/7 relationship, I soon learned what His needs and His wants were. I'm proud to say that I could anticipate most of them. When there was something that displeased Him, He ordered- not talked it over with it.
Yet, I read a lot of  slaves' posts that "my Master doesn't sit and talk to me". It's like your supposed to have some kind of therapy session with your Master. Yes, orders may need to be clarified. But I can't understand where  this idea of personal chats  over coffee with a Master comes from. And yes, the Masters did discuss some of Their personal matters with me, but there was absolutely no question of Who the Master was.
Why do some slaves think a Master should sit down and "talk" to a slave?
Rick
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 2:14:31 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Well some of us have a more intimate close relationship with our Master and actually talk to each other. Master and I talk about events, life and anything that is troubling us. We are more than being Master and slave.  Some of us are friends, lovers, husbands and wives and so  on as well as Master and slave. Some people don't have or don't need that kind of relationship but alot of do and enjoy it.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 7/30/2007 2:16:08 PM >

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 2:19:35 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610

I've had three gay Masters. Not one of them ever sat down and "talked" to me. Since, it was a 24/7 relationship, I soon learned what His needs and His wants were. I'm proud to say that I could anticipate most of them. When there was something that displeased Him, He ordered- not talked it over with it.
Yet, I read a lot of  slaves' posts that "my Master doesn't sit and talk to me". It's like your supposed to have some kind of therapy session with your Master. Yes, orders may need to be clarified. But I can't understand where  this idea of personal chats  over coffee with a Master comes from. And yes, the Masters did discuss some of Their personal matters with me, but there was absolutely no question of Who the Master was.
Why do some slaves think a Master should sit down and "talk" to a slave?
Rick


because not all master/slave's and/or their dynamics, require/prefer 24/7 objectification, for starters.

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 2:30:51 PM   
CutieMouse


Posts: 81
Status: offline 		There is absolutely no question in my mind who makes the decisions and has the final say 24/7, but that doesn't mean we are anything more or less than Lovers, as it's how we both view the relationship... so we talk about the mundane, the important, and everything inbetween. He cracks jokes, and I call him an ass; I make sure his coffee is always fresh, and he tells me what a good woman I am... Why do some slaves think D/s relationships are somehow less meaningful, just because the personal dynamics don't follow the standard ME Masterful Master/you slaveish-object-to-keep-at-arms-length pattern?

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 2:34:19 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Yup.

It really depends on what dynamics you want to set up in your relationship. 

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 2:42:17 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		Just because a Master sits down and talks to thier slave doesnt mean she/he forgets who is the Master.

If I displease Master and he just barked orders at me to do it right and never sits down and talks to me like a human, how am i suppose to learn. (for me) Some things were instinctive, so some things I learned by simply observing, but mostly I learned because Master choose to talk to me and teach me not just order me around.

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 3:03:23 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		My social circle isn't so huge that I don't enjoy having my slave serve as a companion too.


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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 3:08:36 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610

Why do some slaves think a Master should sit down and "talk" to a slave?
Rick

Daddy and i call it communication which we do a lot of ...it helps us stay intimate and close to each other. besides, we rarely have BDSM-related discussions while having our "talk" but we never seem to run out of things to talk about.


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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 5:20:01 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Without sit down talks I may never find out very important information that effects my decion making.  I LOVE the people who come into my life and serve me.  I am the dominant; I am Mistress to these people regardless of anything that happens day to day.  There is NO situation that could occur where my slave would say "She's not the dominant".  It just is. I choose people who aren't wishy washy in their submission.  I choose people who feel committed to the power exchange.  I choose people who are intelligent and don't live a life of semantics.

Without communication, without love, without every day enjoyment of each other my relationships would die horrible deaths.  Even in the loss of my most recent relationship...as difficult as the loss was, it was always wonderful because we communicated, kept each other informed of where we were and loved like nobody's business.  Just because my house is not rigid and outlined does not mean I am not dominant.  It just means I do it the way it works for me and search for those who can make it work for them.

There have been times where I have been crying basket cases in front of my slave.  Issues that have nothing to do with he and I but some external "thing".  Times where I have looked at him and said "I don't know what to do about this, what do you think?"  Does that make me less of a dominant because I exhibit human characteristics? No.  Does it make me less of a Mistress because I give a damn and want his opinions?  No.

Where did the fallacy that dominants are supposed to be mean, rigid, uncaring, unfeeling jackasses come from?  Why can't we be evolved, thinking, caring, loving people with human emotion and feelings?  Why can't we be all of these things from time to time?



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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 7:52:12 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It must be also considered that when a slave wants to sit down and talk with their Master, it's not to get some "therapy" but to touch base regarding any changes in the relationship. Changes such as if one or the other's wants, needs or desires are still there or if tthere's any changes. Communication has to be there in order to maintain a healthy Master/slave relationship. Talks do not always include personal matters of the Master but to check ina nd see if there's any problems creeping and which can be fixed sooner than later.

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(in reply to labrat18610)
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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 7:57:37 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610
But I can't understand where  this idea of personal chats  over coffee with a Master comes from. And yes, the Masters did discuss some of Their personal matters with me, but there was absolutely no question of Who the Master was.
Why do some slaves think a Master should sit down and "talk" to a slave?
Rick

Becasue some of believe that that should be part of our interactions with our pets as well?
Angel and I have had sit down chats over dinner, we have gone out for coffee, we have sat in my living room and played video games and talked. We do not play every moment of every day we are together.  Part of the appeal of him is that we CAN sit down and talk without my positon being a problem, not being called into question. Ther eis NO question who the owner is wit us. That doesnt mean I cant decide that rather than having him come here all the time, we cant meet at IHOP, or go wander WalMart.
Some slaves believe that as a partner, they will be spoken to , and treated as, a real partner, and not just a possession. And rightfully so, becasue some of us Owners believe that our partners should be treated as partners as well.

DV


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VampiresLair

(in reply to labrat18610)
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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 9:59:56 PM   
labrat18610


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		I think I may have given the wrong impression about the Masters and my relationship to Them. I have always sought out a Master who had a stong sense of entittlement. And I would not have kissed His ass if I didn't love Him.. Of course, we  were two people living under that same roof. We did have warm and tender moments. The bedroom is where  the Master showed his affection for me. Yet, the thought of having a heart to heart  theraputic talk  with the Master is totally foreign to me. His reaction to such a "talk"  would have been 3 words, "Deal with it". As I've said, I noticed lots of  whiny  slaves' complaints that "My Master doesn't sit down and talk to me." In the words of the Master, "Deal with it.".
Rick

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 10:10:58 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610

I think I may have given the wrong impression about the Masters and my relationship to Them. I have always sought out a Master who had a stong sense of entittlement. And I would not have kissed His ass if I didn't love Him.. Of course, we  were two people living under that same roof. We did have warm and tender moments. The bedroom is where  the Master showed his affection for me. Yet, the thought of having a heart to heart  theraputic talk  with the Master is totally foreign to me. His reaction to such a "talk"  would have been 3 words, "Deal with it". As I've said, I noticed lots of  whiny  slaves' complaints that "My Master doesn't sit down and talk to me." In the words of the Master, "Deal with it.".
Rick


I think I get what you're saying more. It's a stylistic thing - yeah, if a slave is having problems assimilating what I want from him, I don't expect to necessarily BE the person to give him all the tools he needs to get by - he should be proactively looking to find ways and find means to do as I want. I wouldn't be offended if he comes to me with problems and asks for my help directly "Ma'am I'm having trouble with this, would you have any ideas for me?" But there is a point where, you are quite right, a healthy slave is a big boy/girl who is ready to deal with their problems on their own time. Not necessarily alone and in a vacuum, but not dependent on the Owner to work out all solutions for them.


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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 10:18:28 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Rick,

For the same reasons some men like yourself want a male dominant and some want a female dominant.  To each their own. 

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 10:19:31 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I get talks OR "Deal with it," depending on the situation.  Sometimes he wants me to help me see a point, so he discusses it with me so I get it.  Sometimes I have concerns on my mind and he wants to address them if he thinks my thinking is wrong, or heading in the wrong direction.  If I get "Deal with it," it's likely that he wants me to figure something out for myself, even if I'm stuck.    Sometimes it's because I didn't present my case very well.  In each situation, there is something I can learn, if I pay attention...even if he doesn't say anything.

If we're together in person (we live apart) and are having a serious conversation, he's typically sitting while I'm kneeling between his feet, looking up at him with my face in his hands, or I'm kneeling but pulled upward between his legs, leaning into his chest with my face in his hands.  I'm never sitting for these talks.  On my knees at his feet is much more intimate for us.

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 10:22:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610

Why do some slaves think a Master should sit down and "talk" to a slave?



Because that's the relationship they want and deserve to have. Any more easy questions?

This may seem strange to you, I mean three masters out of how many in the entire world is such a huge number, but a lot of owners and masters actually like to talk to their slaves and pets over coffee. In fact, wonder of wonders, some dominants don't consider a person worth owning if they can't provide decent conversation.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/30/2007 10:25:29 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610

I think I may have given the wrong impression about the Masters and my relationship to Them. I have always sought out a Master who had a stong sense of entittlement. And I would not have kissed His ass if I didn't love Him.. Of course, we  were two people living under that same roof. We did have warm and tender moments. The bedroom is where  the Master showed his affection for me. Yet, the thought of having a heart to heart  theraputic talk  with the Master is totally foreign to me. His reaction to such a "talk"  would have been 3 words, "Deal with it". As I've said, I noticed lots of  whiny  slaves' complaints that "My Master doesn't sit down and talk to me." In the words of the Master, "Deal with it.".
Rick


That is your master's reaction and it is a reaction common to a certain type of person. I could never thrive under that type of person. Valyraen does not serve as my therapist. He is my owner and I don't believe in home therapy anyway, but he is also my best friend. He listens to my problems and kisses my forehead, trusting that I will find a way to deal with them myself. If someone is too big for me to handle, he helps me find the way. Be it a call to my parents, a night out with the girls or a trip to an actual therapist.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/30/2007 10:26:47 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/31/2007 1:27:23 AM   
slaveofKaos


Posts: 143
Joined: 2/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Master and I talk all the time, it's good to talk. I always know my place as his slave and don't forget it just because we're talking and our discussing something. Master is Master whether were in a scene, chatting, or when i'm doing chores and he's working. We are Master and slave but were still people and enjoy talking and haing fun together.

Edited to say: And I certiantly dont think they are "whiny slaves" just because they want to be able to sit and talk to there Master. Communication is good and it helps keep relationships strong. In the end it comes down to what two people want and what they decide are best for them and their relationship.

< Message edited by slaveofKaos -- 7/31/2007 1:31:11 AM >

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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/31/2007 4:59:08 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		This is going to be really foreign to you but in our dynamic R is he power holder, so he wants to "deal with it".

quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610

I think I may have given the wrong impression about the Masters and my relationship to Them. I have always sought out a Master who had a stong sense of entittlement. And I would not have kissed His ass if I didn't love Him.. Of course, we  were two people living under that same roof. We did have warm and tender moments. The bedroom is where  the Master showed his affection for me. Yet, the thought of having a heart to heart  theraputic talk  with the Master is totally foreign to me. His reaction to such a "talk"  would have been 3 words, "Deal with it". As I've said, I noticed lots of  whiny  slaves' complaints that "My Master doesn't sit down and talk to me." In the words of the Master, "Deal with it.".
Rick


_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to labrat18610)
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RE: Having the Master sit down and "talk" to ... - 7/31/2007 7:23:19 AM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		labrat18610,

I think that this maybe one of the differences between male/male dynamics, and male/female dynamics.  Of this I am not sure, but it could it be.  I know there are times with my boy (sub) that I just say deal with it, he accepts it and moves on.  I am going to generlize now but we as men are raised to not talk about things and just deal with it.  So it may go back to that conditioning.

Mike


(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 20
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