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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 5:47:36 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
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From: Chicago, IL
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i hate it that as a mother i'm helpless ...that i cannot begin to understand why she would do what she did early yesterday morning ...why someone with a bright "the sky's the limit" future would think ending her life is the way out. i hate it when people told me all day "you're not alone" however i did feel so alone in this (and i still do though i have a great support system) ...my emotions are out of whack right now ...i'm not upset or angry at her but it's hard putting on a strong face in front of strangers when all you want to do is cry.... i hate it that i'm totally lost for words...

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Post #: 15041

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 5:52:08 AM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IAMChristine

hugs to all.

i hate plumbing probems...why can't i just be able to figure the fuck out how things go together? if i hear righty-tighty lefty- loosy again i'm going to scream!

so.... are you a righty or a lefty?

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

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(in reply to IAMChristine)

Post #: 15042

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 5:59:00 AM

KMsAngel

Posts: 17415
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aw samba..... {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

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Post #: 15043

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:00:50 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i hate it that as a mother i'm helpless ...that i cannot begin to understand why she would do what she did early yesterday morning ...why someone with a bright "the sky's the limit" future would think ending her life is the way out. i hate it when people told me all day "you're not alone" however i did feel so alone in this (and i still do though i have a great support system) ...my emotions are out of whack right now ...i'm not upset or angry at her but it's hard putting on a strong face in front of strangers when all you want to do is cry.... i hate it that i'm totally lost for words...

Oh, Samba thats awful. Life is precious. This person needs counseling. I imagine it to be a youngster with so much angst. Chin up and love them and be strong.

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 15044

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:02:44 AM

LumusandtheLady

Posts: 1926
Joined: 11/1/2008
Status: offline

{{{hugs}}}

I can't say that I've been in your shoes but I will say that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. I do wish I could help somehow. May peace and healing be yours and your daughter's. Know that you have friends that care for you here.

Rain°

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 15045

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:03:42 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i hate it that as a mother i'm helpless ...that i cannot begin to understand why she would do what she did early yesterday morning ...why someone with a bright "the sky's the limit" future would think ending her life is the way out. i hate it when people told me all day "you're not alone" however i did feel so alone in this (and i still do though i have a great support system) ...my emotions are out of whack right now ...i'm not upset or angry at her but it's hard putting on a strong face in front of strangers when all you want to do is cry.... i hate it that i'm totally lost for words...

i wish there is something i could say to make this better. There are no words. But please, for heavens sake...CRY!!! If you feel the need to express your emotions, do it. You owe those strangers nothing, especially a stoic stance. Would you go to your daughter and tell her not to show emotion? Of course you wouldn't. She is hurting and injured, but you need to realize that you too are hurting and injured.

And you have heard it before, but you are NOT alone. You have your faith. This situation is more than you can handle...so hand it to the One who IS able to handle it.

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Post #: 15046

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:14:15 AM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Sylvere.. Missouri and nearly every state has an Anti-Bullying Law on the books sponsored by one of your Senators and effective as of August 2006 http://www.senate.mo.gov/06info/bts_web/Bill.aspx?SessionType=R&BillID=48 Schools must advise anyone filing a bullying complaint that other options exist to remedy the situation, such as injunctions and restraining orders. You can also file assault, battery, harassment and a Terroristic Complaint with the police against the boys.

One thing that may help your Ums..is a self defense class at the YMCA or through a Dojo. These classes give them the confidence to diffuse situations, and the ability to defend themselves if need be. They start teaching as young as age 5, and are not taught agression, but instead discipline and confidence in their own abilities. Some even give lessons on what to do when being bullied or recognizing it when others are subjected to it. The confident child is far less likely to be bullied. Just like we tend to not be targets for muggers when we walk confidently and alertly down a street looking ready for anything that might come our way, the same goes for children. Bullies and Muggers prefer to target the shy, passive or those who look like they aren't going to do anything more than cower. Fear is their fuel.

poenkitten (wishing you luck and who taught her sons early to defend themselves)

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 15047

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:21:26 AM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

I hate that I have constant muscle problems, my best friend has been working them out and now the blood is flowing and the numbness is gone. So now my upper muscles and neck are sore and tender.
This is with taking a muscle relaxer several times a day.

I also hate that being in the mountains has brught out a whole new set of allergies despite the daily zyrtex. Im all congested now which means my chest and cough will linger even longer.

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Post #: 15048

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:25:33 AM

osocurious

Posts: 676
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline

sambamanslilgirl ... I wish I had the right words here ... I don't.
But my heart sincerely goes out to You and yours ... especially your daughter.

it's said everything happens for a reason ... sometimes we don't see the reasons til waaaaaaay down the road ... sometimes we Never Do see the reasons .. but it's running through my mind that though she "thought" of ending her life ... it DIDN'T happen!!!
So Now ....a Huge Light goes on that there's a problem(s) that you maybe weren't aware of before ... Now You are!!!
Hopefully, maybe you and she can start moving along a path of healing.

I'm going to go dress and light a candle for you and yours ....and will keep you all in my warmest, brightest, most positive thoughts today
((((((((((((((((((hugs sambamanslilgirl)))))))))))))) ... wish I could do more

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 15049

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:25:33 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i'm crying now...

thanks everyone, i do need hugs and prayers...

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 15050

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:27:11 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i hate it that as a mother i'm helpless ...that i cannot begin to understand why she would do what she did early yesterday morning ...why someone with a bright "the sky's the limit" future would think ending her life is the way out. i hate it when people told me all day "you're not alone" however i did feel so alone in this (and i still do though i have a great support system) ...my emotions are out of whack right now ...i'm not upset or angry at her but it's hard putting on a strong face in front of strangers when all you want to do is cry.... i hate it that i'm totally lost for words...

I know you don't know me and I don't really know what happened here, but I saw this scroll by and my heart stopped and then started racing. I don't want to speak out of turn or intrude, but I have been through this and live with the results every day. I know that feeling you are discribing and although I am sure we are very different, there are similarities. I isolated in a sense at times and at other's went on as normal only to get mad or lash out or crawl into myself never wanted to crawl out. Cry... I think it really really helps. I think what helped me most besides time and doing all I could to deal with things and change things was talking to people the police brought into things that had been there. At first I didnt want anything to do with them, but in time... I was ready. My heart just bleeds for you and the pain you feel and I hope that whatever has happened here, that all will be well. I just hope I haven't said too much because I don't know you and I wouldn't want to make things worse somehow. I just related. If I have, I am truly sorry.

_____________________________

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 15051

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:31:58 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

*smiles*

don't worry, Lockit, it helped

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 15052

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 6:36:19 AM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

sambamans, sometimes it's hard to put into words what we're feeling, but I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and I can only hope that this situation finds a positive resolution quickly.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 15053

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 7:06:06 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

Sambamans.... reiterating what others have said... please cry as much as you have to. And while doing that hold your um and let her know that you love her and will not judge her. You may not understand but are there to listen and hug her and love her. These will be difficult times ahead, please do not believe the myth that if you mention the word suicide it will somehow encourage someone to attempt it. It is important to talk openly about it. Hugs to you and your um.

AAS

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Post #: 15054

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 7:11:22 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

I HATE that I just found out via email that a very good friend of mine died on Mon night. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His wife didn't know who to call at the Dept. and the message didn't get to me until 30 minutes ago. She found him in their home, dead of a heart attack. He was due to have open heart surgery on the same day...Mon.
I'm gonna miss my friend so much. FUCK, I have to sign off now & go cry some more in the bathroom.

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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

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Post #: 15055

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 7:15:45 AM

osocurious

Posts: 676
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline

I hate it when I come into the "I Hate It When ..." thread, and read such honestly heart rending things people are experiencing ......

Sincere ((((((((((((hugs for E/everyone that needs them))))))))))

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 15056

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 7:18:30 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Ah samba I'm sorry, difficult horrible situation to have to deal with. Speaking from her POV through my own memories... hug the crap out of her and let her know she can tell you anything and if she can't tell you then its okay to tell another grownup. It can be so hard at that age to visualize the future and to know that the pain of today will only be a memory in a few short years. Its a matter of making it to those years, not always easy I know.

VP I'm sorry too for your sad news. I don't have any good words of wisdom for any one today but I am sorry you lost a friend. That sucks plain and simple.

Wanders, tis good to see you posting again. Your words (and that brilliant smile in your pic) always make me feel a bit better.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 15057

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 7:27:01 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i hugged her so tight before leaving the hospital

i'm going to hug her again when i visit her

then i'm going to hug her sister ...she needs one too

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 15058

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 7:43:21 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

((((HUGS samba))))))

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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

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Post #: 15059

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 7:58:15 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

poenkitten ~ Thanks much for the info.

The school is technically working within the statues to form a safety plan for my sprite and trying to teach what bullying is and why it's not okay. Unfortunately, the endless talking, videos, etc. aren't ending the bullying and harassment. It's just causing the culprits to escalate the attacks. Hopefully, my lawyer will call me back today (he was out of the office for proceedings yesterday) so that I can get the ball rolling on something like a restraining order. I told the principal that I'd made the call to find out what my legal options were and she immediately ended our meeting, saying that from now on we'll only be able to communicate through the lawyers. I haven't even paid the retainer yet! But whatever, her attitude says it all, IMO. We're also looking into getting him enrolled in some martial arts classes. There's a great Kung-Fu dojo not far from where I live. I've been wanting to enroll him for some time but they're not cheap and I'm on a student's income.

And {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to everyone else who needs it.

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(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 15060

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