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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 8:23:48 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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*hugs and prayers to Sambas, her Daughter, POtty, and all the friends and families that need them*

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 8:34:11 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
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Sigh, grumble, whine, whimper.
I hate that I have a long list of errands and stuffs to get done today but it hurts to move.
I hate that I have to get new glasses but I can't see how frames look on me cuz I'm as blind as the proverbial bat and usually wind up with ugly glasses!

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Post #: 15062

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 8:38:34 AM

BlackPhx

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Sambamanslilgirl, there are no words to express how all of us who care about you are feeling right now. The desire to hug and protect you is very strong, and while that is partly what you need, it is not all. It is very hard for people to understand why someone with everything before them may attempt suicide. Know that it is nothing you did or didn't do, I doubt very much that you missed any signs (and I KNOW you are thinking you did and blaming yourself for that, as mothers we do that) and that there is nothing you likely could have done to prevent the attempt.

Stop blaming yourself. As someone who has made serious attempts in the past I can tell you there is nothing anyone could have done to stop me (bad luck (or good depending on your point of view) foiled my last attempt, and no one even suspected I was going to do it including me (oddly enough (It was the December after my son's murder)). Most who make a serious attempt don't actually want to die. We want to stop hurting, just for a little while..just let the overwhelming pain go that we can't even talk to anyone about. Nothing seems to stop that level of depression not even sleep, we know it has to be stopped and we can see no other way but we never consider that death is permanent and there is no coming back from it refreshed . The pain of not being able to protect my son, of not seeing how serious the situation was that precipitated his death, of his killer walking free, was just too much. I was lucky in that the Psych who saw me after they pumped my stomach (they got back 15 out of 150 ephedrine pills I had swallowed, it was that close) and stabilized my heart, understood the pain and my attempt and did not Baker Act me, but got me the help I needed.

Your child is safe and alive. She is where she can get help and I know that you will ensure that she does, but Please remember to take care of yourself as well. You will go through fear, grief, self recriminations for not seeing it coming, and anger at both yourself and her. You WILL need help to deal with it, please reach out and get some for yourself not just for her and her sibling. This will impact your family for a long while and it will take time to trust she won't do it again even after she begins to deal with the problems that precipitated it.

My thoughts will remain with you and my heart reaches out to you and yours. You do have something to be very Thankful this Thanksgiving...She is alive and as long as she is, now that you know there is a problem, you can get her help.

May the Gods of Music remind her of all that is worth living for...

poenkitten

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Post #: 15063

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 8:41:23 AM

BlackPhx

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Camille... simple solution to the frames glasses problem..take a magnifying mirror with you such as the ones you use to apply makeup.

poenkitten

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Post #: 15064

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 8:49:00 AM

LadyHibiscus

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HUGS EVERYONE~

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Post #: 15065

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 8:49:49 AM

GreedyTop

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*hugs poen*

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 8:51:23 AM

persephonee

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hugs everyone tooooooo

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 8:57:17 AM

stella41b

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*stellahugs all round*

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 9:03:40 AM

camille65

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

Camille... simple solution to the frames glasses problem..take a magnifying mirror with you such as the ones you use to apply makeup.

poenkitten

Wots makeup??

I'm taking my digital camera.

There was a great place I used in Michigan, they had a set up where they'd take photos of the customer in all the different frames then put them up on a giant monitor so you could wear your normal glasses then check out how all the others looked on you.

I've tried to find something like that in Austin, to no avail.

Another thought I had was getting a set of daily wear contacts and using those but its an extra expense I don't think I can afford. I've not tried contacts since the early 80's but jeez it was a huge hassle back then with the myriad of cleaning supplies needed. Heh, the more I type about contacts, the more I want them!

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Post #: 15069

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 9:05:49 AM

Dnomyar

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Come back up and visit Michigan and get new glases while your here.

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Post #: 15070

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 9:14:12 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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Camille..theres lense solution now that is 'no-rub'.. just fill the cases, drop the lenses in, and rinse well when you're ready to put the lenses back in your eyes. I'm currently using AcuVue Oasys lenses..LOVE THEM... I don't even know theyre there..

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 9:29:08 AM

BlackPhx

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To all struggling with this day..and those who are not

http://www.hallmark.com/ECardWeb/ECV.jsp?a=EG1938852962902M278049081Y&product_id= with all my thoughts hopes and love

poenkitten

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Post #: 15072

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 9:35:14 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

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Camille, some if not all Lenscrafters have cameras for that purpose. I have the same problem. I used to always have to take someone with me to tell me if they looked good or not. Sometimes when I looked at myself in the frames with the lenses in them, I was less than happy with their choice!

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Post #: 15073

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 9:38:48 AM

VirginPotty

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From: Virginville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

To all struggling with this day..and those who are not

http://www.hallmark.com/ECardWeb/ECV.jsp?a=EG1938852962902M278049081Y&product_id= with all my thoughts hopes and love

poenkitten

That's about the sweetest thing I've seen in a long while. Thank you, Poen!

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 9:46:57 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i hate it that as a mother i'm helpless ...that i cannot begin to understand why she would do what she did early yesterday morning ...why someone with a bright "the sky's the limit" future would think ending her life is the way out. i hate it when people told me all day "you're not alone" however i did feel so alone in this (and i still do though i have a great support system) ...my emotions are out of whack right now ...i'm not upset or angry at her but it's hard putting on a strong face in front of strangers when all you want to do is cry.... i hate it that i'm totally lost for words...

All I can do is offer you hugs & a shoulder to cry on. My first suicide attempt was at the age of 11, but I started thinking about it at 5. I was also one of those with a very bright future, only I never saw it. All I could see was the pain & the fear. Many years ago, I decided to stop attempting, because if I needed help with the pain, I had learned how to ask for that. When I heard this song, it spoke to me. I don't know what the songwriters' intentions were when they wrote this, but to me it's a reminder that even if I'm feeling that all-encompassing pain, I can't lose sight of all the wonder that has been my life & will be my life again. I hope this helps your daughter to remember that also.

http://http://music.yahoo.com/Willie-Nelson/Dont-Fade-Away/lyrics/24775221

< Message edited by LinnaeaBorealis -- 11/20/2008 9:49:11 AM >

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 10:05:45 AM

IAMChristine

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Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Salt Lake City
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i hate that i was just starting to feel like my old self again and he writes me an email saying he wants to make sure i'm okay. well not anymore i'm not...i feel like i almost have to start over again in the grieving process and it just pisses me off.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 10:09:39 AM

VirginPotty

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You have to be kidding, Christine. Please say you're kidding.

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Post #: 15077

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 10:09:43 AM

GreedyTop

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tell him that you need time, Christine, and that YOU will contact HIM when and IF you feel able to... *hugs* we love ya, Godzilla...

ACTUALLY.. what *I* would be likely to say is FUCK OFF!!! but thats just me....

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 11/20/2008 10:11:32 AM >

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 10:12:44 AM

sirsholly

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Do not allow him to put you back where you were....you are stronger then you realize, Christine.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/20/2008 10:15:12 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

tell him that you need time, Christine, and that YOU will contact HIM when and IF you feel able to... *hugs* we love ya, Godzilla...

ACTUALLY.. what *I* would be likely to say is FUCK OFF!!! but thats just me....

you distract him with the bellowing... i will run up behind him and slap him upside the head with last nights meatloaf....

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