SavageFaerie
Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004 From: NYC Status: offline
|
Im lazy to so there is some I love and I hate moments. I love that I got to talk to linnea by phone...is was like talking to a old friend and playing catch up I love that all in all it wasnt too bad a day I hate that my brain is not firing proberly and I feel disjointed mind wise due to a med change gone bad but has been corrected as Im still in the build up stage. I cant concentrate, my ocd is being odd, it take forever it seem to answer a post because the misfiring is sending wrong signals but read back and cant see the mistakes then Im in edit hell...because half the words intended are randomly replaced words that have nothing to do with the sentence, which spell check is useless because the wrong words are spelled correctly. It makes me feel that Im out of control of simple things. My sounds triggers are driving me nuts, certain sounds, volume, or noises coming from differnt directions make me almost wish I was deaf or at least partially. I spend half my times looking for thing I just had in my hand earlier because I quickly forget where I set it down. But I know for a fact that everyone will help make things easy for me by being such a loving bunch. If anyone see me drawing back, or finding a not so busy area, seem like a deer in the headlight, I would appreciate if they say come on lets get a breath of air...or kill another lung cell. It usually doesnt take a long time to recover and I have my make it leave faster meds on hand. This is the biggest step I have made in YEARS, so many in one place but thankfully I know that everyone will be loving and those with wee problems will look after of everyone else. I do have thing worked out for the Event of the Year but will be forced to play alot by ear depending on and afraid to commit to some of the events planned , might be no problem, might not...I have no way of knowing till the last minute. I think I can attend and if anything triggers that usually I cant step out and regroup and rejoin. Or may surpise me and I can just do everything without a hitch....Im going for that thought in mind, I have learned how to trick my mind. Okay that was a little tmi I dont usually put that much out but it something anyone that goes to the wedding will understand if I am not my usually michievous self....luckily I have a feeling it will be a friends reunion and nothing will rear its head. Despite all that I have no misgivings and totally stoked about getting there and meeting everyone.
_____________________________
Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.
|