sleazybutterfly
Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006 Status: offline
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I hate that I am even going to put this out there and post, but I need to get it out there somewhere. I hate that the op program denied me getting in. They said I had to deal with being abused and raped in my life, plus I had to be ED free for ten years before they would even consider it. I tried to plead my case, I even agreed to go to therapy if they wanted me to. I all but begged her to give me a chance, but she wouldn't. I want to know a few things..... How come I am being punished for something that happened to me as a child some twenty years later? How can I ever move on from seeing myself as a victim and move on with my life if others won't let me? How can anyone make a decision on what you can and can't do based on a one minute conversation? What woman in the world doesn't have any issues with her mom, even if she loves her mom to pieces? What makes anyone think that by NOT letting me in the program, they are helping me not be bulimic again? Hello..I was trying to do it right this time, but I guess that's not allowed. Why am I being punished for being honest? I could have easily lied and not told them anything about myself or my life. What gives anyone the right to remind me of my past, when I have moved on with my life and have it all coming together? Why is it so hard to believe that someone can actually get over a disorder without paying thousands in therapy? I told her I prayed a lot, I leaned on my faith, and I just decided it was time. I guess that didn't make sense to her, after all...how could anyone possibly do anything without their help??? Why out of the three people involved in this whole scenario *the abuser, the rapist, and myself* am I the one being punished??? Honestly, how dare someone put this things back into my life when I have taken them out of it for good. How dare someone make me into that frightened lil girl, or that attacked woman that I once was. Some things just aren't right, I don't care what kind of a pretty lil bow they try to put on it.
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~Flutterby ~Curvylicious Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly. Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.
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