hizgeorgiapeach
Posts: 1672
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I hate it when I have to break news to dad along the lines of "It looks like you may be having to go back into a nursing facility for an indefinate period of time." Hospice sent a phlebotomist out yesterday to draw blood, so they could do bloodwork that hasn't been done since dad came home. How that bloodwork turns out is going to decide whether they keep dad on hospice services or refuse to recertify him as Needing hospice any longer. They've already decided he's not getting recerted unless the bloodwork comes back below a certain level (though level of What I have no idea.) No recert = aides no longer being sent out 3 times a week to see to certain of his needs that I'm not qualified to take care of myself, no nurse coming by to check on his physical condition 2 times a week that I'm not qualified to do myself, no more respite periods where I can actually count on getting 5 days off every 3 months, and suddenly having to pay for 6 more medications out of pocket that they've been covering. I'm of two minds on this. While part of me is thrilled that his condition might have stabilized enough that he's no longer in immediate danger of dying, and could potentially have several more years left in him - the rest of me is angry that they're just Now coming to this conclusion, that I had to find out from the nurse rather than admin or the social worker informing me of the decision (if the nurse hadn't accidentally spilled the beans, I still wouldn't be aware of what was going on!) and worried. Worried about how to continue meeting his needs when I'm not qualified to deal with some of the issues (and wouldn't be unless I were a registered nurse), worried about where I'm going to come up with the money to either put him back in a nursing home (an extremely expensive proposition) or pay out of pocket for privately hired home health aides to come out and do the things that hospice currently covers (also an extremely expensive proposition.) Worried about what putting him back in a nursing facility is going to do to his emotional state and will to live which is already fragile. Emotionally I'm neither prepared for, nor capable of, continuing to take care of dad for an indeterminate period of time. What other job on the planet - besides parenthood or taking care of a terminally ill loved one - expects us to put in 24 hour days, neglect our own needs in favor of someone else's, work holidays and weekends without a single day off Ever, put up with being the brunt of someone else's emotional instabilities without relief.... with no pay, and most of the time without even so much as a thank you or 5 minutes (without interuption) to sit back and simply relax?
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Rhi Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Essential Scentsations
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