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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 1:42:08 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		Aylee, the social workers these days are more intent on trying to prove that families aren't Compitant.... of nit picking to try and prove that family is ripping the person off financially, or is neglecting/abusing them.... so that the state can jump in and take control, telling everyone what's "best" for those involved (but which actually has little to do with what's best for those involved, and a lot to do with the state finding excuses to take control over someone's pension.)
 
As it is, his current social worker is more interested in seeing all of the bank statements for the past 6 months, in an attempt to prove that I've "mismanaged" things so the state has an excuse to steal his pension, than she is in helping me find workable solutions so that he can continue to live here at home Without it driving me into an insane asylum....

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 2:26:36 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Kali hates it when she is given multiple consecutive hours (upon hours) in the Hot-lanta, GA airport to practice patience and tolerance this evening.

Personal note to all: She has not punched anyone in the throat.... yet.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 3:00:40 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessImaginos

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

I finally get informed of what the hell's going on by Hospice, only to have them essentially pull the rug out from  under me, and inform me that I have less than 2 weeks to find replacements (at my own expense) for all of dad's equipment, get him in to see his GP to get new scrips for all his meds, find a new home aide to come in (which I get to start paying for out of pocket, despite the fact that none of the home health companies will even Consider sending someone out for less than 3 hours at a time, even if what they're coming for only takes 20 minutes -  you get to pay a 3 hour minimum) ... and oh yeah, because they're closing his case next Wenesday, I can kiss my respite time goodbye, since It doesn't even come Due until October 1st.  And of course, I can forget about the idea of finally getting my life back - because now they've decided that he could survive anywhere from a few more months, to several more years - say hello to an extended sentence for Good behavior.....




I was My mother's caretaker for years, with no help from relatives or the state. I just want you to know that someone understands, luv. Goddess bless you.





I did the same thing for my grandfather with cancer for a year or so which is nothing in comparison to years, but I know that feeling too. I'm sorry it's really rough.


< Message edited by impishlilhellcat -- 9/17/2009 3:01:22 PM >

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 3:08:34 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

Aylee, the social workers these days are more intent on trying to prove that families aren't Compitant.... of nit picking to try and prove that family is ripping the person off financially, or is neglecting/abusing them.... so that the state can jump in and take control, telling everyone what's "best" for those involved (but which actually has little to do with what's best for those involved, and a lot to do with the state finding excuses to take control over someone's pension.)
 
As it is, his current social worker is more interested in seeing all of the bank statements for the past 6 months, in an attempt to prove that I've "mismanaged" things so the state has an excuse to steal his pension, than she is in helping me find workable solutions so that he can continue to live here at home Without it driving me into an insane asylum....


The only response that I have to that is, "THAT IS FUCKED UP!" 

I am sorry about the language, but it is. 

I was working on an MSW, and that is certainly not what we were being taught.  Of course, I did not finish the program because I could not stand some of the "ideals" that we were suppose to fall in line with either. 

However. . . I got a visit from the hospital social worker after Butterhead was born and I can honestly say that it did not leave me with happy-warm-fuzzy feelings.  More like homicidal rage.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 3:49:31 PM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		y'all need to move down here. HGP, the kind of work i do is taking care of folks like your father. and we do a damn fine job. in fact half my job is to take care of the carers before THEY fall to bits and EVERYONE ends up in hospital. who does THAT benefit, then?

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 3:59:07 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		Homicidal rage..... oooooh yeah... that's Definately something I've been facing for the past couple of hours.
 
The hospice social worker (who isn't, technically, dad's caseworker - she's simply the person who is employed by the hospice company to facilitate things like setting  up respite and seeing whether there are other services that Hospice provides that a family might need to utilize) makes a visit this morning, and reminds me that I'm due respite time in October, and takes a few minutes to go over scheduling with me so that we're on the same page as far as dates rather than waiting til the last minute.
 
Then dad's aide shows up to give him  his shower, I let her know when the respite time is going to take place... and get informed that She had been told at the daily morning meeting that dad wasn't going to be a patient of hospice after next friday, regardless of what the socialworker said about my respite time coming up.  So she called the office after she left here, and suddenly I get a call from Admin - who, until Today, hadn't bothered to inform me that there even Might be a Possibility of him not being recerted (thank the gods for nurses who accidentally spill the beans, so I knew it was a potential) - informing me that the blood work wasn't bad enough, and I have until a week from tomorrow to get things together to take over everything they've been providing via whatever other resources I can come up with.
 
And between the visit of the Hospice socialworker and the Aide, the mail showed up  - with a letter from dad's Regular social worker - informing me that I have 10 days to send her copies of all financial records for the past 6 months so she can decide whether or not any of it has been "spent in an inappropriate manner."  (This after informing me during her last home visit a couple of weeks ago that if they ever don't like what they see, they'll take things to court to have themselves declared his custodians and do wht they can to completely remove me from the picture.)  She doesn't like me - I don't fit her picture of someone who is "appropriate" to be taking care of an aging or terminally ill person - tattooed and casually dressed, rather than some sort of Mary Poppins or Better Crocker look alike - and has made it Quite plain that she's itching for an excuse, any excuse, to say I'm not capable of the handling things properly.
 
I feel like I'm being punished for doing what everyone says is the "right" thing.  I do what I can to take care of him, to make sure he has everything he needs AND everything he Wants, and I get put under a fucking microscope and hounded for doing so.  I feel like I'm being assraped by the Hospice company - because if they cared as much about peoples' well being as they claim, they wouldn't have left it to the last fucking minute to tell me that this was even a Potential, leaving me in a lurch to try and keep things running smoothly and without a major hitch or glitch.  I feel, in a way, like it's a set up - to try and make Certain that there's no time for me to make alternate arrangements, so that the state is Given it's excuse to claim I can't do the job properly and they "have" to step in for dad's own good.
 
And right now, I'm about to the point emotionally where I'm ready to throw my hands up, scream "I QUIT" at the top of my lungs, and tell the social worker "I don't care any more - do what you want, because I'm beyond giving a shit what happens to anyone but ME."

eta:  Australia..... hmmmmm.. with winter about to set in here, which means summer is about to start There..... I'm betting that I could finagle a way to get a passport if I decide to simply escape and run away from home.......

< Message edited by hizgeorgiapeach -- 9/17/2009 4:01:03 PM >

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 4:37:24 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		Hizgeorgiapeach,

You can get an expedited passport (still takes three weeks)... I'm sorry I know that's a tough situation fighting with people who have no clue how hard it is and a state that's even more clueless about helping those in need. I've taken care of someone in that situation and even though we've never really tallked if you ever need an ear or even just to vent I have an open inbox.


I hate when someone makes an ass of themselves repeatedly by not dropping a subject that has been long dead. You are NOT endearing yourself to myself (I can't speak for anyone else) it's very rare that someone annoys me in this fashion, but goodness it really makes me want to take a fork and stick it in that person's eye.

AND JUST FOR THE RECORD THIS ISN"T A POST TO ANYONE ON THIS THREAD!


Imp who really isn't violent.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 5:05:06 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Rhi, I SO feel for you!!  My grandmother passed a little over two years ago, and her last months... well, I don't need to retell THAT little saga.  The system is against us, that's all there is to it.

HUGS AND BEAMAGE!!!  Try not to lose your temper in front of the wrong people.  I know it's hard.

Oh, and I am hating a particular person BIG TIME right now.  My new one was alarmed when I mentioned that I really do not like men...  but truly, the very bad examples make you good guys look THAT much better!

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Profile   Post #: 29768
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 9:08:52 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Rhi,
{This is Kalista...i'm posting under red's account because i didn't want to sign out and then back in to respond to your posts....}i have plenty of appropriate recourses that you can take if you are really interested in persuing them. i am a licensed social worker in another state and can give you the options to persue.
Let me know if you want my suggestions.
Kali

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Profile   Post #: 29769
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 10:25:17 PM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		Not trying to belittle the importance of the current conversation but to return to the meaning of this thread...

I hate it when ... a big fluffy cat leaps over a candle and singes their belly hair leaving the scent of burnt hair lingering in the room. Even air fresheners often only partially cover it... so now you have Mountain Breeze with a hint of singed cat fur.

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Profile   Post #: 29770
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/17/2009 11:12:12 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I am sorry for the rough time that you are going through Rhi. My mom will soon need us full time. I hope this is not what I have to go through. Luckily my sisters are upstanding good girls who would not cause a raised eyebrow.

I hate that I was let go from the position I had at the college because I wasnt a "good fit". Really we werent. I did not like everything I taught to be undermined with students told, "no do it this way" when I have just as much experience in both the field and in teaching as the lead Instructors and her rules were her rules and had nothing to do with standards in massage and were just her shtick. There was no decent cirriculum and no set rules so there was nothing to follow. Just always being told It was wrong. So I would be glad if I had another job and I was getting pretty frustrated. I talked to the director trying to make things better. So I was let go. Oh well. I would like to think things happen for a reason but when you have been out of work this long, the economys in the crapper and you have so much illness in the family being told things happen fora reason is lame. Theres no reason that my sister was sick. Theres no reason my moms health is deteriorating. No reason at all.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 9/17/2009 11:49:39 PM >

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 1:36:43 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		HGP, do you think your brother has been stirring up trouble again?

Aus is definitely heading into summer. i've put away the wool blankies. however, i've got rellies coming to visit til early Dec so i'm out of beds til then!! after that, though.....

did i mention i'm less than half an hour from the beach, and mountains?

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 2:16:08 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		*hugs and prayers to all that need them*

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 3:56:40 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Oh well. I would like to think things happen for a reason but when you have been out of work this long, the economys in the crapper and you have so much illness in the family being told things happen fora reason is lame. Theres no reason that my sister was sick. Theres no reason my moms health is deteriorating. No reason at all.


Oh Lushy your entire family is going through such a difficult time right now and my heart absolutely aches for you and for the others on here that are going through difficulties.  It absolutely sucks that it seems to be through the most painful experiences that we do the most learning and growing and I for one have many a time pleaded to stop with the opportunities for growth already.

No platitudes to offer you, simply saying that I care for you and that you and your mum in particular are often in my thoughts and in fact I will light some incense right now and send some love across the ocean to you and yours (and everyone else on here that needs a bit of extra strength)


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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 5:37:09 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		I hate it when after getting little sleep last night (I talked poor Kali to death, till the wee hours), I get the rats off to school, sit down at the computer, because it's quiet and I'll get 5 minutes to myself... the phone rings.  It's the school nurse.  Thing 2 got sick as soon as she got to her class, and they are getting her bag ready so she can come home.  Well, that 45 seconds of "me time" was certainly satisfying! 

*runs off to get my poor girl*

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 5:40:22 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

Well, that 45 seconds of "me time" was certainly satisfying!
Honey...i hate to tell ya this, but Thing 1 may be next, so the memory of those 45 seconds will have to last awhile.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 5:49:06 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		*throws self under imaginary bus and cries* 

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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

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Profile   Post #: 29777
RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 5:57:47 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		(((((hug)))))

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 6:14:13 AM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		*crawls under Red's bus and hugs her*

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RE: I hate it when........ - 9/18/2009 6:19:18 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		I came here to "Hate" my non starting car but after reading the current posts I just want to offer  {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

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