YSG
Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/6/2010 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hausboy I ADMIT.... (this is gonna be a whole paragraph I'm sure) Many years ago, I was driven by rage and anger. Anger fueled my drinking, and any excuse to be angry and express my anger openly led to my imposing it on others, which meant that my anger and misery because someone else's anger and misery. It was a terrible existence. I hated the world, everyone in it and myself most of all. It took extensive therapy. many years of 12-step programs, my gender transition and finally, my divorce....to open my eyes to my behavior and led me to a true spiritual awakening in which I made significant changes to how I think and how I act towards myself and others. I admit... Fox texted me tonight--and warned me not to read the stupidity on the forums about the transgender woman being beaten. Of course, I didn't listen. I got as far as two posts in--and had to close the page. It enraged me. I worked 12-hours today, I was tired, hungry and now angry. Three deadly sins in the world of sobriety. Anger is a luxury I can no longer afford, and in working my 12-step program and my spiritual path, as I sat enjoying a steak at Outback (a reward for a long day of work), I decided that I needed to counter all the negative energy with something positive so that I could let go of the anger. And so.....I admit... there was a single dad with four young kids at the table next to me...all African American..... they were very well-behaved and having a really nice dinner. This is actually a rare site these days in Baltimore--on all counts--the dad, the well-behaved dinner party etc. It melted my anger seeing this awesome Dad with all these great kids. So instead of using the gift card I had from Christmas that would have paid for my dinner plus two future ones-- I paid my bill, and quietly gave the gift card to their waitress to apply towards the family's bill....then slipped out. I came home. The anger is gone. The desire to drink over it is gone. I admit...I encourage anyone who feels rage.... to just pay it forward with a random act of kindness. I admit... it works. I admit, advice taken I admit, mad respect
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Our duty is to hold ourselves responsible to the people. Every word, every act and every policy must conform to the people's interests, and if mistakes occur, they must be corrected - that is what being responsible to the people means- Mao Zedong
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