CalifChick
Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007 From: California Status: offline
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I admit that 12 years ago, when I had my first "routine" mammogram at age 35, they found a lump. I admit it was benign. I admit that the surgeon did something that made me uncomfortable at the time, but I was a different person then and never confronted him. I also worried about what would happen if my accusations got out, because I truly felt at the time that it was not that he was doing something inappropriate in a sexual way, but something inappropriate because he was in a hurry. I admit at the time, I was torn. Do I confront him? Do I write him a letter? Do I file a complaint with the board of medicine? If I do, this will be in the papers and then will I be blacklisted and no doctor in town will see me? Uggghhhh. I admit I did nothing. I admit that occasionally I would feel guilt for not protecting other women by taking action. Fast forward 12 years. The surgeon retired from general surgery and is doing some specialty stuff now. I was referred to him to take care of a recent issue I had. All the old feelings came up, but this time I had a plan of exactly what I would say if he did the same thing again. But he didn't, and I felt the burden on me was lifted. I admit he did my surgery on July 1. I admit that today was my followup visit. The visit went well, and I asked him to come back into the room after I got dressed, because I wanted to talk about something that happened with my lumpectomy all that time ago. I admit he came back in and I told him the whole story, about how uncomfortable I felt, about how I was torn over whether I should do something or not, about everything. He said exactly the right things, was very apologetic, confirmed that he was most likely in a hurry and it was not sexual (not that this was any excuse...). I told him my burden was gone, and to make it complete, I felt I had to tell him about it. We had a great talk. I admit he said that he cannot imagine a time when I have not spoken my mind.
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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll
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