CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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I admit that I cannot do Florentine style flogging, even though I've admired demos and TRIED. My dyslexia messes me up so badly I can't see any rhythm in my head. So...I told my son that if he'd learn it and show me how, I'd be delighted.
I admit my brand new perfectly matched floggers arrived in the mail yesterday. I was sitting here at the computer when my son comes in the room, floggers in hand (the first time any flogger has ever been in his hand), and says "Hey mom! Watch this." And he proceeded to do Florentine perfectly, hitting the nearby wall for the demo.
I admit I had a jaw dropping moment. Wow. I asked him how in the world had he figured it out and he told me that it was simple. It was the same motions the Tomb Raider chick made when she was fighting with her wooden combat practice staff...and he had watched this movie dozens of times years ago. (Autism sure has some unexpected perks.)
I admit that I wonder if other people pick up things this easily. I don't, when it comes to right and left, left and right, whatever. Aargh. I was going to order off poi balls (correct spelling?) because someone told me that's how to get the rhythm of doing Florentine, but it looks like my adult son is going to have the joy of teaching someone something when it's almost impossible to do so. (Payback, for all the times the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak.)
I admit that all of this reminds me of when I tried to teach my mother how to do simple things on a computer, like write a letter to her other daughter who lives far away. Mom got impatient and hit the enter key a dozen times in a row, rapidly, and instead of sending the letter it wiped out the page. All of her pages of typing went poof. After a dozen different days of this, of her remaining impatient and insisting on "forgetting" and hitting the enter key a dozen times per second, lol, she said forget it. That she prefers to write her letters with pen and ink because at least THAT doesn't get eaten by some damned computer.
I admit that life is complicated. I've had an online (know him in meatspace too, but he lives several states away) Daddy type friend I've turned to (this past half a year or more) when I need to regress to find my happy space. It's not sexual and it's not playacting for fun and games, but both of us are in between relationships and miss the neurochemicals. He likes to Daddy a girl, and I enjoy having a companion, even if just through letters and phone calls, who is sensible, calm, and doesn't freak out on me if I want to color with crayons, make doll clothes, or am caught watching a Disney cartoon movie.
My D/s buttons are broken/effed up. I still get angry and resentful and/or completely worn out over simply considering taking someone into my life in more than a part time, low maintenance, almost zero responsibility way. Having a part time (unofficial) Daddy and some friendly type bottoms for impact play, and going to the occasional play party is what's suitable for me at this time in my life, and it seems so simple and peaceful and easy...but when I try to explain it to anyone it sounds complicated.
I admit I never thought I would ever need to add to my Fet profile "It's Complicated", but it would be an appropriate warning. 
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