CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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@LaTigresse
I peeked at your profile on the other side and it's still there. It also says that you haven't accessed your account there since 08/24/15. Ugh. I had problems accessing my old account until I had signed out of this one on both sides of this site. When I'd be at Bo's house and he would wake up before me and be at Collarspace to answer his mail...when I came online later I'd have to make sure he was signed out on both sides before I got into my own account. If that doesn't work then I don't know anything that could be helpful.
*****
I admit that my gynecologist wants to do some surgery and wants me to lose 50 lbs. in two months.  If there was any diet in the universe or "lifestyle change" that would do that, I would have done it already. I've been dieting since 5th grade and I'm 52 years old now. I would diet even for an entire year or two if I could lose that much. That being said, someone gave mom a zerox copy of the Mayo Clinic Diet (and mom held it like a dead rat, telling me "Why in the world would anyone working in a café give me a paper with a diet on it?!") She showed me the paper and I told her that I'll try it, as I've tried everything else already...why not?
I admit I've been on it for 16 days. I'm so tired of the mandatory breakfast of two eggs, two strips of bacon, and half a grapefruit that I could scream. Atkins was easier and better than this because this diet gives me nausea for 2/3 of my day, I also get shaky before lunch time and hungry BUT when I start eating my salad and meat I get very nauseated and it takes me sometimes 2-3 hours to choke it down. Dinner isn't so bad, when I can eat it. I forget to (or can't eat) my third meal (so I'm screwing up the diet because I'm supposed to have three meals per day) two days out of three. Still, I'm going to do this damn thing for the the full 2 1/2 months and we will SEE if I lose the average 52 lbs. (Yeah right, I'll consider myself lucky if I lose five pounds.)
The surgery is just preventative because of my hormone problem. We discussed a progesterone IUD to balance everything out, but then I had to let her know that it was artificial progesterone that gave me the blood clots in my lungs and she changed her mind. It's been three years now and I'm still bleeding almost daily and I am sick of it and all the complications it causes. (The D&C I had didn't put a stop to it. I'm just grateful that it showed there's no cancer.)
I admit that life is good. Friends visited from North Carolina last weekend and we had a great time.
I admit that the last play party I went to had it's excellent moments. It also had it's disasters and yes, I was at the center of it. The bottom didn't replace the split paddle, didn't bring his drop cloth, and to my horror...he'd put his multitude of impact toys (smeared with old blood he hadn't cleaned off, in spite of my frequent asking him to)...directly on her coffee table. In spite of the towels I had handed him to spread on the coffee table. He showed up with some bad spots on his butt (I could tell he'd scened with someone about a week and a half ago and the deeper tissues hadn't healed up yet)...and this small Tic-Tac sized area went kablooie during the warmup and I spent the next half hour using a baby wipe to wipe the blood off AND taking a Clorox wipe to clean the blood off the paddle (bandaids don't stay on his butt) after every set of three strikes, as per the hostess' wishes. He insisted on my using the cracked paddle and yep, a chunk flew off and hit the people seated on the couch about 8 ft. away. When I switched from the warm up paddle to the lexan "ruler" type paddle, that's when the blood spattering happened, yes, on my face and glasses. It's amazing how much mess a drop or two can make. As the wipes turned slowly but surely red all over and it suddenly hit me that I don't have gloves on and if I had even a small cut on my hand...yes, I quietly freaked out, put the stuff down and tried switching to a cane.
I admit there was a fan directly overhead, impairing my aim, and a huge flat screen tv directly behind me. Instead of replacing the paddle, he had bought a new cane...that was a foot longer than the usual ones he brought, and insisted on it being used on him. I was so afraid of hitting the fan or hitting the tv... In the end he was unhappy over getting just a one hour session instead of the three hours he'd decided to expect.
Yes, I had explained everything about play parties beforehand but he had gone over my head by asking for the hostess' permission to bring his massive amount of equipment that hogged up her living room for six hours and took more than three hours to haul everything in and put together, and then I took about 40 minutes to buckle him down into and tie everything that needed tying. He had told me that others were going to paddle/cane him but in the end I was the only one. After unbuckling and untying him from everything and seeing that he was okay, I staggered off to bed and fell into it and prayed that my pain level would drop down to a manageable level. I knew he'd be upset over my not helping him tear down his equipment and pack it up...but I had asked him to use the hostess' dungeon furniture instead and he had insisted on bringing his own and...I admit that I was still pissed off over his having sat his sweaty bottom and balls down on my (I brought it with me) fold up chair. I'm a germophobe; I'm still debating on whether to hit it with Lysol, bleach, or to set it on fire. 
I admit I did have fun socializing with the others and even managed to talk a friend who was near phobic about being flogged...into letting me flog her. In the end, she almost fell to sleep and had a smile on her face. When I saw another bottom almost two weeks later, I wanted only to have some light fun (and zero impact play) and used wax and violet wand. It was lighthearted fun and I needed that. Also, I didn't need a week and a half for my legs to recover from that session.
I admit that I thought of walking away from all of this for a year or two. Am still thinking about it. BUT...I'm still smiling over that flogging and...I have a friend in Florida who is phobic about getting spanked and...well, you can guess the rest. I'm itching to write over ugly memories with some nice ones so I guess I'm not hanging up my floggers any time soon. I miss subs. They deal with me differently than masochistic bottoms (and they tend to hold the door open for me and carry my bags...).
I admit that for my birthday, a friend of mine bought me a Pokémon Team Rocket mouse pad. I love it and I'm using it right now. She also gave my son a Pokémon Zorua stuffed animal (it's CUTE!) and he's sorta giving it to me. Um, she also gave me a small stuffed Pikachu that's lying down on it's belly as well as a smaller stuffed/beanbag Pikachu. I have the "baby" Pikachu resting on the bigger one's back. I've got to make her something out of some My Little Pony fabric I bought but so far...I can't think of what to make.
I admit that I've found Pokémon groups on Facebook and am trading with other adults, woohoo! The Pokémon gamer groups over at Fet are/were almost dead until the next game comes out in November. Someone leaked pix of Sun and Moon's starter Pokémon so who knows, it might have breathed some life into the groups temporarily.
I admit...I skipped my exercise for today and now I'm too tired to do it. Both of my calf muscles spasmed a few days ago while I was trying to sleep, and have been tight and spastic ever since. This is annoying. I think exercise would make them spasm up again...at least, that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it, lol.
I admit I can't wait until this diet is over and I can go back to my usual summertime diet, Atkins (not the new Atkins, but the way it was done in the 1970's). The only fruit I'm allowed on this one is half a grapefruit (it's mandatory with every meal), and Atkins lets me have any kind of berry I want, as well as grapefruit, as long as I stay within my carb limit. I can't believe this diet lets me have carrot but won't allow me to have celery or white onions... Yes, I'm dying for strawberries and raspberries and celery, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but...I'm getting sick and tired of bacon. (crosses eyes)
< Message edited by CynthiaWVirginia -- 5/18/2016 3:01:46 AM >
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RE: I Admit It I........ - 
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