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RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/9/2007 3:39:40 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

I have updated my sites and deleted info to make it more anonymous except for my pics, let me know what you think.

That's a big improvement, however your hubby's last name is still on there next to his picture on the friend's list, and clicking on that gives your hometown.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 5/9/2007 3:41:10 PM >

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/9/2007 5:45:28 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zindyslave

She said the only reason she was nice to me was because she felt sorry for me what ever that means. (God that is embarrassing to put out there)

How high school. Sounds like a typical "mean girl" type. Don't be embarrassed, be proud that someone that shallow doesn't want to be associated with you. I would be nice to you because i know you are a nice person....(well based on your posts etc)

If someone like that spreads bi rumors just tell people she only said that because you turned her down.

(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/9/2007 6:35:53 PM

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

LOL I like that reply to the situation I will keep that in mind if anyone asks. For some reason since I blocked her she put her daughter up to emailing me, how childish is that to put your 12 year old daughter up to doing your dirty work for you? This is so stupid, I am blocking them both and anymore that feels the need to harass me. I am a nice person at least I try to be as much as possible unless I get angry which doesn't happen often. (man I sound conceited...lol) Oh I didn't think about his myspace thanks Proudsub will rememdy that quickly. Thanks for taking the time to check them out.

_____________________________

http://www.myspace.com/zindygirl

Only when you see the invisible can you do the impossible.

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/9/2007 6:44:44 PM

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/29/2007
Status: offline

It depends on what you want. Depending on your actions in the past, plausible deniability may work. If you think her only proof is the pictures on this site, well, people can steal pictures. They can't prove it was you that posted them. This plausible deniability will probably at least save your job, and may smooth things over in your family. But the gossip will undoubtedly continue. If all you care about is your livelihood, this option may work, but if you care about your social standing, it won't achieve your ends.

If that didn't work, I'd probably try bribery (just think of it as an investment: you won't have much cash if you're fired because of this). If that didn't work, I'd try to find counter-blackmail material. And if that didn't work, I'd try to reason with her, although she doesn't seem like the kind of person that can be reasoned with about this.

(in reply to adoracat)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/9/2007 8:10:54 PM

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
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My family doesn't know and if they did, most of my family doesn't like me anyway only a handfull of them do. Like my mom, and a cousin. So, that can be dealt with. If she tells people I don't really care I have pics up but none of them are explicit they only show my face and my husbands, I can always say it is something that interests me or something if I feel the need to hide it which at this point I don't because I know that if they don't like me because of that then they never did to begin with.

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http://www.myspace.com/zindygirl

Only when you see the invisible can you do the impossible.

(in reply to Aristogeiton)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/9/2007 8:32:11 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

My family doesn't know

You really don't think anyone in you family has looked at your myspace page or yahoo profile, both of which say you are bi and into bdsm?

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/9/2007 8:43:22 PM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

If you've changed things around, you are letting this person WAY too much rent free space in your head. Have any of your fears about this situation been realized? If not, forget about it.

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/9/2007 10:47:32 PM

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

None of my family that may have an internet connection knows my married last name. My one cousin that does know doesn't really care and he knew I was bi to begin with, he doesn't know I have a yahoo email address and he doesn't have a yahoo 360 since he has to use the school computer. My mom hates technology so she has no internet either, she doesn't even have a computer. LadyPact the reason I changed things is so no one can say it is me or not people can still others photos online, and also I don't need anyone being nosy about my life so I have changed things so no body will know for sure if it is me unless I tell them so.

_____________________________

http://www.myspace.com/zindygirl

Only when you see the invisible can you do the impossible.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/10/2007 8:05:18 AM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Does she have yahoo? i'd be happy to start hitting on her in im :)

(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/10/2007 8:26:22 AM

Posts: 63
Joined: 2/24/2006
From: HOUSTON TEXAS
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zindyslave

Well, I don't use this nickname unless I am on a kink site so how she found out if she did I don't know. She said she wasn't the one that found it that it was a friend of hers. So, I don't know what all she knows. I put a pic up because I think it is fair if others have pics up that I also have a pic up. Maybe I am wrong and maybe I could change it probably will now that this has happened will have to change it just in case it gets around to others.

I am an advid myspace user. One thing that might help is if you get the code to remove your friendslist from showing and request your friends do the same. It is soooooooo easy to backtrack over there to find out about others.

Folks are right about posting your pix and the chance you take. You could also set your profile to "friends only can view my pix" and put on your quote, "if you want to see my photos you must request to be my friend". That way you have the option to choose who sees what. They have many variances of security levels under personal settings.

You might try removing your city location too. for all you know, she could have just searched her zip code when you came up. these are factors in the search engine that people use all the time to find me.

I don't have my children on my friends list so that their friends can't find out their mommy is a kinky prodom pornstar. Funny part is that I am out to damn near everyone except some of the PTA. [and one of the head bitches in charge over there knows because of my classmates profile! but you think they'd guess since I wear leather to the meetings -- it makes me feel protected from their innane antiquated opinions!]

My theory is simple though, I own up to who I am. I see no reason to be ashamed. Sexuality is an innate quality we are all born with. Some of us are naturally drawn to kink, some of us like both genders, some of us ARE both genders, and some are full on gay. I come by mine genetically, so when I started bondage modeling I wrote to my biological father and warned him to not join the sites I work for. My mother knows and when asked by outsiders how she can accept this she just replies, "You've known us her whole life. Have I ever had any control over what Michelle does?"

If the guy who headed the search team for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq could admit he is also the host of Black Rose when they tried to out him, then wtf have the rest of us to be ashamed of?

If you need further assistance with myspace you can find me over there at /michellefromhell

I will gladly help when I can...oh and I have the code, if you should need it.

M

(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/10/2007 8:36:15 AM

MistressDarling

Posts: 31
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

If someone asks you an inappropriate question, respond with, "Excuse me, but I'm sure that I didn't hear you correctly. Can you please repeat that." Generally, they'll tone it down or just shut up.

I could not agree more. What goes on in the privacy of your bedroom is no one else's business. Let her tell whomever she wants to tell. Chances are, no one is going to care. Everyone has a little kink. And if someone is classless enough to mention it to you, follow Spanklette's advice. They'll feel too stupid to bring it up again.

(in reply to spanklette)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/10/2007 8:38:25 AM

MistressDarling

Posts: 31
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline

And as for your fear of being fired:

That's discrimination. If you don't discuss it at work and if it doesn't cause a problem with your performance, they have NO right to fire you. Keep your chin up, chica!!!

(in reply to MistressDarling)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/10/2007 8:53:29 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarling

And as for your fear of being fired:

That's discrimination. If you don't discuss it at work and if it doesn't cause a problem with your performance, they have NO right to fire you.

Many states have "at will" employment laws where either side can terminate the employment with no stated reason. An employer generally isn't careless enough to say theyr'e firing someone because they're kinky which makes it awfully hard to prove discrimination in such cases.

~stef

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(in reply to MistressDarling)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/10/2007 7:09:21 PM

Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

Well, as far as I know she doens't have yahoo and I have blocked her from accessing my page anymore. I have pretty much gotten over it and as far as what insulting things she has said it doesn't bother be anymore I have had a lot of people tell me very nice things. I don't have any exposing pics up anywhere either here or there, so I don't know why I would want to block anyone from seeing my page, I deleted any identifying info about myself so no one can see my page from searching by zip or city only by state and that is because I don't know how to get rid of it I could change it tho. HellsMichelle thanks for the advice and everything if I find out I need it then I will contact you.

_____________________________

http://www.myspace.com/zindygirl

Only when you see the invisible can you do the impossible.

(in reply to stef)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/12/2007 7:44:09 PM

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zindyslave

When there are things on the internet and people are nosy they find these things. She said a 'friend' of hers seen a personal ad that my husband/Master but up on a vanilla site where we are looking for a woman to just have some fun with. She also said there were a couple of more sites that she didn't tell me about, more like wouldn't tell me about, and she said they were disgusting sites. Which since she is highly vanilla I could only think of the bdsm sites I go to. (I could be wrong tho) She also says I am not right with God because of my sexual interests, but if she is judging me then what does that say about her? But anyway, she went on to say other things that are not even related. What I want to know why does she even care what goes on in side my bedroom? I don't really have many friends up here but I am working up here and people up here I would say most if not all of them are vanilla, it is a close knit everyone knows everyone else type of town, I am afraid that people will find out where I work and that it might just get me fired even tho I work retail sometimes peoples prejudices come out. I like my job and don't want to risk it, should I just say if someone asks that I don't know what they are talking about or should I just be honest?

Sometimes we have to just be ourselves. You don't have to answer any questions. I know it can be stressful and your wondering who knows all the time but truthfully you can't do anything about it but go on being you and not worrying about it. I'm in management and i know you can't get fired for being kinky what you can get fired for is anything that you've done on the job that could cause you to be fired so they won't even use the kinky excuse.

Personally I'm just tired of having to sneak around. Every August I take a week off to put on my event and I want to tell everyone what a great time we had etc etc but I can only share it with kinky folks. Sucks sometimes.

(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/12/2007 8:03:56 PM

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Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline

Stef you are right as many states are at will and can fire anyone based on they don't like you.

Zindy glad you made the changes. You are you and if others cannot accept it then it is their problem. If someone chooses to out you, then it is on them. Don't deny what you are.

minnetar

(in reply to stef)

RE: Someone finding out about your lifestyle - 5/12/2007 11:59:53 PM

Posts: 35
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline

boy, I'm glad I live in a big city where no one gives a damn bout my business... lol. best of luck with this tough situation

(in reply to adoracat)

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