SirPain
Posts: 25
Joined: 3/26/2004 Status: offline
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I believe the original question was; What should a slave do to become owned? Now the problem is how to answer this question. Everyone has their own answer to this question, so what can be added to make the answer palletable. IMHO a potential slave should first decide the area of this extemely diverse lifestyle that s/he wants to explore. Is s/he more comfortable with service only, they wish to be used as a serice slave only. Cleaning, cooking, pampering a Dominant with little or no expectation of reward other than providing the service. Does s/he seek a Dominant/submissive relationship, one in which the slave expects to be used in ways other than service? Sex slave, breeding slave, cow (lactating only, not used for breeding). Is s/he a painslut and wish to be used as such? Once the potential slave has answered these questions and decided on a course of slavery then s/he can begin seeking a Dominant with these qualities. Now comes the really very hard part. Realising that the submissive/slave picks the Dominant, not the other way round. What criteria should be used for picking the Dom for a potential sub/slave is open to a wide variety of discussion, but first should be, does the Dom fit the criteria of the sub/slave. Is the Dom a sadist and the sub/slave only seeking service submission/slavery? I doubt this will be a good match as neither will be satisified with the other. One piece of advice for a potential sub/slave, and for the Doms as well, ask for references. Then call the references, speak with them, then ask the references for references and speak with them. Find out if you know of anyone in the lifestyle that they know as well and can comment on them and their role in this lifestyle. OK, now you and the potential Dominant have reach a comfort zone and are ready to proceed, take a breathe, step back and begin "the courtship." Remember, safety and trust must flow both ways. you as the sub/slave have found the Dom which is perfect for you and wish to be owned by them. What now? Once the sub/slave has offered their submission/slavery to the Dom it is up to both of them to agree on the ground rules. Is this to be a monogamas relationship, an open relationship, or a poly house. Both must agree on the rules of engagement and be ready to not only be thrilled, but be prepared to be disappointed as well. OK. The Dom has offered ownership. What now? Does the sub/slave immediately become collared and is used as a collared slave? There are several schools of thought on this, but mine is. . . NO! Once the sub/slave has been offered ownership, s/he must now earn the collar that will be offered. Earn it how? By adhereing to the criteria set up in the negotiations. It is the Doms job to learn and know the sub/slaves hard limits. I have heard so many time, "I don't believe a slave should have limits." that it makes me kringe. A Dom and slave need to have limits in order to know and understand where the relationship will go. I like to use the simple ones, nothing illegal (anything that will land the sub/slave or myself in jail or prison) and no death/dismemberment. Earning the collar begins with a training collar offered after several months of training( I like to use three months as a standard), with the permenant collar offered after six to twelve months of training. I do not use online collars as I am not able to adequately supervise the training. A sub/slave must be willing to at least relocate to the area I'm living in and serve me in the way I see fit. If that means bringing his/her family (husband/wife and children) to the area that's fine. Finally, to me, a sub/slave earning a collar is something very akin to marriage with even more deep emotional attachment between the sub/slave and Dom. Sir Pain
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