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Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/22/2007 1:44:21 PM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		Ok this happen at a party I attended with some in scene friends. My friends know I am switch  and actively pursue both sides. Anyways there were a large number of people there and a sprinkling of Goreans. Much to my surprised my First showed and despite being there with my own pet I acknowledge her not only as a friend and former lover but as my Mistress(even if she no longer is such). I'm 22 I have been in the scene since i was 17. My lady gave me my first pet for she saw the domme in me and nutured that side.

Side note my pet was collared but for once we left the leash at home. Sometime later I was approached by an older male. He wasn't drunk but hell it would have made the whoel situation better. Anyways he'd seen my act of submission before Vicky. After some OT talking he says, "You know I don't know why you bother pretending to be what you aren't. Just because you found someone more submissive than you does not make you a Domme. Spend the night with me and I will show you what she couldn't about being a sub."

My question is to the other switches is have you ever had someone try and "convert" you to being a sub completely? This is like a straight man telling a bi or lesbian woman he can make her straight.

For the rest of the story I had had a few drinks, but I wasn't even buzzed so when I unleashed on this guy it was with both barrells. First I asked what gave him the impression that he could speak to me thus. His response was to point to the choaker my pet had gifted me. There was a anme plate built into it giving it the look of a collar. On the name plate was the word Goddess in Greek. I told him that was no excuse and in no uncertain terms I wasn't pretending to be anything unlike him. That if he were to pull his head and his dick out of his ass he would realize that not only has he insulted me, but also my First Lady and her abilities. It got colorful from there as i slipped from english to russian to greek and then spanish.

I'm 5'4 and this guy was 6 plus so of course i am talking up to him. I grabbed his coat and yanked him down so I could make it clear that if he insulted me, my pet or my lady again he'd get his night alone with me but not as he was hopping. At that point both Vicky and Jamie, my pet, pulled me off the guy and towards the bar. 
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/22/2007 1:48:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Read this:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_323643/tm.htm
How do you respond to a direct denial?

He did a dorky thing.

You did an deplorable thing and I would have been very ashamed of you if you were associated with me and felt embarassed for myself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/22/2007 1:56:31 PM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		Well, while the guy was totally wrong, the old saying about 2 wrongs not making a right is true.  It is just my opinion but a Lady always comes out the winner in any situation when she conducts herself like a lady.  I have found myself in a couple of situations in public where I would love to have reacted in the way that you did, BUT I came out looking oh so much better when I laughed and smiled and thanked the idiot for his input and held my head high and walked away.  We seldom come out looking good when we stoop to the level of an idiot who has insullted us, and If I was you "First" and this happend I would feel as though you had insulted me by behaving in such a manner.  I wasn't there so it is only how I feel based on your report.  I hope there are no negative repercussions in the local group for you.
MsOpal


_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

... and i did.


~Surrender without Fear~
~Power without Guilt~
~Love without Doubt~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/22/2007 2:13:32 PM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		No there weren't. The majority of people there know me outside of the scene and as such now i don't hold back when people do things like this no matter what. As for Vicky, she has always stood proud when i stand up for myself. I heard later on that the guy does this often with switches he feel he can bully as most he has dealt with are those who are more to the submissive side. Normally I might have let it go but it was one of those night and because he dragged her and my pet into it, took it too the level it was. Apartenly I was the first to put him in his place so to speak.

My lady will always be able to stop me but for the fact that she didn't once she saw me go toe to toe with this guy shows that she knew i wouldn't do such a thing without merit. I am usually much more in control of myself but there are somethings I do let slide. this just happened to be one of those nights. I admit fully that i could have handled it better, but whats done is done and i don't apologize for it.

(in reply to Argentopal)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/23/2007 6:09:00 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I run across people all the time who think the term "switch" belongs in a fairy tale with Hansel, the Gingerbread Man and Jack.

Have I been berated in such a way?  Never, not in person.  (Online of course).  In person I am a formidable 5'11" woman who isn't exactly meek and mild.  My dominant side is much more prevalant than my bottoming capabilties and I would venture to guess that those who choose to do what this guy did you  would think twice with me because I'd do...well just exactly what you did and call him on it. (difference is I'm tall and giantlike....you sound small and spritely).  I am not cute and don't appear to be easily intimidated in person.  You may have seemed like a good target because he thought you would "bow down to him".  HA you taught him a lesson.

I see other posters felt your position was not the best to take.  That very well may be true but I must admit I would have acted very similarly, I think.  I know that there are good ways and bad ways to stand up for ourselves and taking the high road is usually best...but every one succumbs to the lower on occasion.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/23/2007 8:32:48 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		He acts and reacts according to "his stuff". You react according to yours. You can't control his actions, but you CAN control your own. It might have been that if you explained his misconception calmly that he'd still had been a jerk, but you'd have come off looking like the much better person. Conducting yourself with care and civility speaks volumes about your character.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/23/2007 10:52:04 AM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

(difference is I'm tall and giantlike....you sound small and spritely).  I am not cute and don't appear to be easily intimidated in person.  You may have seemed like a good target because he thought you would "bow down to him".  HA you taught him a lesson.



yeah i'm 5'5 and come off as very meek and mild, veyr much the girl next door, til I open my mouth. If something not as harsh had come out of someone I knew personally's mouth  I would have just blown it off. For a random stranger to come say that just riled me up. I fully admited I could have handled it better but you know what? If this had been a vanilla setting and this same guy had walke dup to me and called me a freak and a bad mother - My hair is dyed bright red i have a few tattoos, i'm a pagan and a goth, my kid wears hottopic stuff that says really un pc things - I would have done practically the same thing. Doms are allowed to think and feel they are high and mighty, but unless i am in a sub mindset I refuse to be talked to as one or in this case a child playing a game.

Maybe I should just start wearing heels more and scowling hehe.

(in reply to earthycouple)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/23/2007 4:15:41 PM   
Ericus1


Posts: 47
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline 		Having been harassed and verbally attacked by a domme, not my Mistress, I approve of what you did.  I actually had to explain to a domme, at a bdsm convention, that i was not her sub, and i was following the orders of my Mistress.  To which i was told by the domme, she didn't care, do what she said.  Needless to say, when i got done ripping her a new one, she was crying.  And my Mistress actually rewarded me for obeying Her, defending Her honor, and for just how much crap i took from the domme before i opened up on her.  People like deserve what they get. 

Again, good job.  He needed the humiliation.

ericus

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/23/2007 5:29:31 PM   
leopardfurred


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ericus1

People like deserve what they get. 

Again, good job.  He needed the humiliation.



unless that's what he wanted

(in reply to Ericus1)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/24/2007 12:26:23 PM   
Aliet


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

unless that's what he wanted


That's just what I was thinking...

It's what I wonder everytime I encounter a troll, and in a few cases, I know damn well it's what they were after.
I always try to redirect my fury in a positive way. You know, to people who enjoy it and are worthy.

(in reply to leopardfurred)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 5/26/2007 2:28:35 PM   
ToysAndTies


Posts: 124
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline 		I feel like switches now are what bisexuals were when the term first started working its way into a main stream.  By default, people think we are one way or the other, and merely in a transitional period trying to make up our minds.  People like to see things in black and white, and have a hard time rolling a discussion around in their minds that has more than two sides.

How you responded really needs the approval of one person:  you.  If you felt embarassed after you told him off, then maybe next time things will work out differently.  If you were proud, then by all means, don't be afraid to do it again.  While I do respect the turning of the other cheek, polite smile, and making tracks, there's still something to be said for standing up for yourself (even if we do seem a little silly in the process).

Between the lady and the Amazon, I prefer the Amazon, regardless of what side of the whip she may like to be on.

And just as an aside... I would love to see EarthyCouple throw down, and if I knew where the fight was, I'd take the day off work :)

Cheers, all

(in reply to Aliet)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 6/26/2007 4:57:31 PM   
RoninTyger


Posts: 33
Joined: 12/12/2006
Status: offline 		    i applaud you for your restraint. if id been you he would have needed to have his testicals surgically  pulled back out of his chest cavity. you cant make an irishman out of a chinese and anyone who thinks they can is an idiot.

(in reply to ToysAndTies)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 6/27/2007 5:24:07 AM   
Dini


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		Smiles reading ToysandTies comment.. and I seem to get the brunt of both being a Bi-Switch!

I am a full 5'1.. and most new Dom's coming into the local scene try and take in on themselves to convert Me, since I too come across as the girl next door and everyones best friend.. BUT Those who know me, know that I am 90% Domme and only very rarely will I submit to a carefully chosen few!

As for handeling idiots, I tend to just shrug and turn away since I will not allow myself to react... Being trained in Marcial arts I could take him down without even thinking... and beleive me I have been tempted on many occasions, But that is not My style... If that is the way he is trying to endear Himself to the local community, he will come of second best since I have been around for many years and tend to have a good standing as Domme.

D  

(in reply to RoninTyger)
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RE: Has this Happend to Anyone else? - 6/27/2007 6:18:25 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Granted Crimson could have handled the situation with more tact and diplomacy. Though my personal feelings is that, given the situationand the atmoshere at that tiime, she handled it partially from the heat of the moment and in a manner how she saw fit in her eyes. We all have been in situations where our impatience and/or temper has flared up. I'm guilty of this also! Yet there are certain situations where one feels there is no other option but to "dress down " an arrogant person in order to get the point across and hopefully at the same time, they will remember for the next time they take it upon themselves to think twice before "converting" us switches to one sideor the other.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to Dini)
Profile   Post #: 14
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