RE: collar of protection

RE: collar of protection (Full Version)

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mons -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 2:15:40 AM)
greetings i heard this and at one time was under the protection of a master how did not use me nor did he let anyone touch me. he protect me from a naive who would not leave me alone he was my friend and mentor and this was when i was a domme and i am still a domme . his kindness was so wonderful he ask nothing of me and still was an honorable man as was his wife. mons ( it does happen anyone asking for anything esle is not there to protect you mons

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 7:22:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Texy Sometimes on the boards, I get the impression that people forget what it is like to be new to the lifestyle, less than a year new I'm talking about. It's more that people in the lifestyle, even when new, holler and shout about being responsible adults who should be able to do what they want...and THEN try and say they don't possess any of the intelligence or judgement which a responsible adult should (but enough that they can choose a protector/still do whatever the heck they want). quote: I'm learning that collars are not given lightly nor should be taken lightly, and that process usually takes at least 6 months in real time or more before that decision can be made. Can it take less time than that? Sure, but I can't be owned until I've actually meet someone in real time. Yes, I don't get the sending a few messages over a day or two and being collared on collarme. Along the same lines, I don't have a to be collared by anyone right now to be happy, but hey, I'm still newish! People can and do give and take collars lightly all the time. What matters is that everyone understands what it does mean for them in that moment and what expectations come along with it. quote: I'm learning that I have to take care of myself and be responsible for myself. How can I take care of someone else and their needs or take direction from someone else if I can't even manage to take care of me? To me this is another case of "How did you get through so much living life withOUT knowing this already?" Diversion: I suppose that's why so many get into "this" and then think it's such a bigger/cooler deal than vanilla life- somehow they got away with not knowing all those basic life skills and understandings before "this." Then they get into "this" get all these great dawnings and realizations (which to me are really life basic common sense stuff) and think it's somehow all due to being part of "this." The only good news being that life eventually shows them that being into "this" won't solve anything and won't make it any easier to be who you are or maintain a solid long term relationship. I guess if people just admitted right off that they don't have the skills that a responsible adult should have and shouldn't really be getting into "this" yet, I'd be a lot more open and accomodating.

KatyLied -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 7:37:44 AM)
quote: I guess if people just admitted right off that they don't have the skills that a responsible adult should have and shouldn't really be getting into "this" yet, I'd be a lot more open and accomodating. This is exactly how I feel about it. It's big girl/big boy pants thing.

mistoferin -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 7:46:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: I guess if people just admitted right off that they don't have the skills that a responsible adult should have and shouldn't really be getting into "this" yet, I'd be a lot more open and accomodating. This is exactly how I feel about it. It's big girl/big boy pants thing. Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

CitizenCane -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:19:01 AM)
Titles, rituals and protocols don't necessarily have any correlation to character, experience or ability. Nor do they indicate a lack of these things. There are perfectly honorable and upright doms who mentor, train or protect submissives- and also predators who make the same claims. There's no simple set of terminology that will tell the two apart- and, sadly, even a period of close personal interaction may not do the trick. There's no substitute for keeping your eyes open.

Aileen68 -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:20:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: I guess if people just admitted right off that they don't have the skills that a responsible adult should have and shouldn't really be getting into "this" yet, I'd be a lot more open and accomodating. This is exactly how I feel about it. It's big girl/big boy pants thing. Yup, that pretty much sums it up. If someone has the ability to effectively pick a protector, then how come they just can't pick a dom? If you suck at picking a dom then wouldn't it be logical that you'd pick a sucky protector?

slaverosebeauty -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:26:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 If someone has the ability to effectively pick a protector, then how come they just can't pick a dom? If you suck at picking a dom then wouldn't it be logical that you'd pick a sucky protector? Some times protectors are just good friends who are watching out for your well being, it has nothing to do with picking a top. Don't be judgemental, just becuase you have not needed someone to 'protect' you, doesn't mean you won't or that you should judge others who do appreicatre someone keeping an eye out for them.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:28:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty Some times protectors are just good friends who are watching out for your well being, it has nothing to do with picking a top. Don't be judgemental, just becuase you have not needed someone to 'protect' you, doesn't mean you won't or that you should judge others who do appreicatre someone keeping an eye out for them. Why not? Why the need to call someone a "protector" instead of a "good friend helping out"? Why the need to have a "good friend helping out" rather than just be a mature responsible adult with "good friends"?

Aileen68 -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:28:53 AM)
I wasn't judging...just asking a question that seems logical to me.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:29:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 I wasn't judging...just asking a question that seems logical to me. To be clear, I totally am judging.

KatyLied -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:30:59 AM)
I am judging too. I think that adults should not act like children who need parents. It just perpetuates the entire subs are weak thing. Aileen, I will protect you. I hope you don't mind a doggy collar for your collar of protection.....[8D]

Aileen68 -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:35:47 AM)
Mmmmm...bow wow katy. I wasn't judging because, personally, I could care less. It's not something I would ever do. I tend to like to choose the people that I interact with.

stef -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:37:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Why the need to call someone a "protector" instead of a "good friend helping out"? Because that's not nearly as romantic. quote: Why the need to have a "good friend helping out" rather than just be a mature responsible adult with "good friends"? Personal responsibility is out. Codependance is in. ~stef

darkinshadows -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:39:25 AM)
My parents are protective me(even at my age[;)]), but they are still my parents. Not my 'protectors'. My children are protective of me also - but they are my children. If someone needs a protector and naming them as such, that is trying to remove personal responsibility. And that isnt healthy. And judging isn't 'wrong' - it's how we shape our own lives because we are viewing through our personal morality. Telling someone what they can and can't do however, when they haven't asked for it (non consent) is placing ones morality on someone else, and that is wrong. But that's just simple opinion[;)] Peace

mistoferin -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:48:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Why the need to have a "good friend helping out" rather than just be a mature responsible adult with "good friends"? It's nice to have good friends who care enough about you that they've "got your back".....it's altogether different to need to have "protectors" to get you through normal, everyday life. I would think that dating and forming relationships should fall under the everyday life category and wouldn't require "protection". If one is not adult to date or form reltionships without having "protection", I would think it would be fair to say that they are not ready for adult social interactions. Yeah....I'm squarely planted in the "judgmental" category.

KatyLied -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:50:22 AM)
quote: Yeah....I'm squarely planted in the "judgmental" category. If we ever get bored we can start a thread for judgmental betches!

astarri -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:56:24 AM)
This is to all the "I'm a grown woman and do not need anyone's help" ... that is great. I would ultimately like to say that i am the best person that i could ever be and i have nothing else to learn in life. Reality, however, is that yes i am lacking a few skills that i probably should have learned when i was younger and i certainly have more to learn as i age. In some areas i am very competent and am able to guide those around me lacking in those skills. For example ... the big picture often eludes me but i am able to help people with the "in the moment" particulars that many get lost in. I see nothing wrong with leaning on people when you need to or being leaned on. It is reciprocal and hence a relationship. I have never had the need or desire for a protection thingy but to each their own.

drawntothedark -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 8:58:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: astarri This is to all the "I'm a grown woman and do not need anyone's help" ... that is great. I would ultimately like to say that i am the best person that i could ever be and i have nothing else to learn in life. Reality, however, is that yes i am lacking a few skills that i probably should have learned when i was younger and i certainly have more to learn as i age. In some areas i am very competent and am able to guide those around me lacking in those skills. For example ... the big picture often eludes me but i am able to help people with the "in the moment" particulars that many get lost in. I see nothing wrong with leaning on people when you need to or being leaned on. It is reciprocal and hence a relationship. I have never had the need or desire for a protection thingy but to each their own. Yes........we all have and need our friends. Friends are one thing, but what we are talking about here is something other than friendship.

slaverosebeauty -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 9:00:00 AM)
The next time someone takes a shot at you, or stalks you, harasses you, etc then you ladies can come and talk to me. I take a LOT of personal responsibility, I have guy friends who took on the role of 'protector' on their own; I'm glad to have them look out for me and for my son. Why the term 'protector' because its an accurate term for them, most of the time they are called 'big brother types.' Since NONE of you have the right to judge, you aren't sitting behind a bench, look at yourselves. If you were stalked, etc YOU would want someone to look out for you as well. I just lucked out to have guy friends who care that much for me. Grow up, ladies. Everyone is as lucky as you are to have avoided trolls and stalkers.

mistoferin -> RE: collar of protection (5/30/2007 9:00:35 AM)
I would like to ask those who feel a need for protection if they feel the same way regarding meeting, dating and forming vanilla relationships? Do you see the same need for it there...and if not, why do you think this is any different and would require such?

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