Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid



Message

Griswold -> Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 5:54:13 PM)

I just bought one of those underwater (throw away) cameras...and I decided to read the instructions (I'm a guy...I never read the instructions...this time...I did):

"This camera should not be used as a floatation device".

(Seriously...I kid you not).

What else ya got?



MsPoetress -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 5:55:32 PM)

Stupid people need stupid labels.

Remember the lady that spilled coffee on her lap and sued McDonalds for 3 million?

These labels are just to cover their asses from stupid people and liberal juries



TheHeretic -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 5:58:26 PM)

        I sometimes cook cedar plank salmon out on the grill.  The planks come with a warning in big letters that "wood can catch fire."



AquaticSub -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 6:01:35 PM)

My hairdryer says "Do not use while bathing"



PlayfulOne -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 6:28:07 PM)

I have a friend that while getting his mechanical engineering degree had to take a class where they sat around to think up labels to put on products for stupid people.  The case they reference back to was when an idiot used his craftsman lawnmower to trim his hedges and cut off his arm.  He sued Sears because it didn't say he shouldn't have done that.

K



astarri -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 6:35:52 PM)

When i bought my new iron it said "Do not attempt to iron clothing while wearing them" or something of that sort 



soultoshare -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 6:38:19 PM)

warning on the label of my OTC sleeping pills...."Do not operate heavy machinery or vehicles, could cause drowsiness"......



Devoura -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 6:38:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

When i bought my new iron it said "Do not attempt to iron clothing while wearing them" or something of that sort 


Uh..why not?!? [sm=smile.gif]



Real0ne -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 6:53:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

I just bought one of those underwater (throw away) cameras...and I decided to read the instructions (I'm a guy...I never read the instructions...this time...I did):

"This camera should not be used as a floatation device".

(Seriously...I kid you not).

What else ya got?


but i can just hit the transporter button and scotty will beam me up tho right?



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 6:57:51 PM)

On a box of christmas lights :
These lights are intended for indoor or outdoor use ONLY
(as opposed to... internal?)

Allergy warning on a Cheese Bread:
WARNING: May contain cheese
(It damn well better...)

And my favorite, on a hair straightener in my store, discontinued now.
"This product was intended for use as the intended use only, not responsable for injury caused by using the product for a use not the intended use"... (however, the intended use is never actually mentioned.)

DV



windchymes -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 7:14:30 PM)

My favorite was always the instructions on the shampoo bottle:  Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat. 

Duh.



Sinergy -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 7:22:37 PM)

 
I have to go with Douglas Adams who cited the instructions on a box of toothpicks.

Moisten, insert with a gentle in and out motion.

Sinergy

Close second are all the dental warnings to not use metal objects to pick your teeth; go to a dentist, wtf does
he use?



Griswold -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 7:26:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

My favorite was always the instructions on the shampoo bottle:  Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat. 

Duh.


(Uh oh...I sense a Mobius strip here).



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 9:17:59 PM)

My fav.. on a tube of Perparation H "Do not injest." Ok, what morons did that?? yuck



Termyn8or -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 10:27:56 PM)

An old Jeff Foxworthy : On a ladder it said "Do not eat" .

Of course his remarks ensued.

T



TheHeretic -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 10:33:24 PM)

        I impulse bought a little tin of Hershey's new (in this market anyway) Dark Chocolate Truffles.  65% cacao.  It's pretty tame, but would you believe it has a little "enjoy in moderation" warning???



Termyn8or -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 10:41:52 PM)

I thought I was done but I was wrong. I work on home theater bigscreens and all that, the service manuals can be quite.......... well.

2. ADJUSTING THE FOCUS

Symptom if focus is not adjusted properly : Picture is out of focus.

How enlightening, I learn to do this shit for twenty fuckin years and they got such explicit instructions a five year old should be able to do it.

Also, there is an IC in your TV called a jungle IC. It is called that because it is incredibly complex and it does alot to sharpen the picture on regular TV. Many hi-def sets have one too, but.......

"When replacing the video rain forest IC adjustment may be required".

What, there's trees growing inside that thing ?

Look, I didn't mean to upset anyone. As long as you don't eat a ladder you'll be fine. By the way, what kind of sauce would you use ?

We missed a few too. On a CD player "Invisible laser radiation inside, do not stare into beam". Now if it's invisible, how the f ..........

Forget it. We are doomed at best.

T



SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 10:59:51 PM)

quote:

Look, I didn't mean to upset anyone. As long as you don't eat a ladder you'll be fine. By the way, what kind of sauce would you use ?


A Remouladder....it was so obvious....jeez.



Owned1 -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/29/2007 11:06:34 PM)

This is not a useless label but when I was in VA I went to a drive through McD's and the drive through menu was in brail!?!?!?!

wtf is up with that, think about it, if the driver needed brail should he/she be driving?  If the passenger was blind could the driver not read the menu to them and besides what would you do get outta your car and "read" the menu as you were struck down by the next driver?

That one has puzzled me for a few years now. 

Owned



MadameDahlia -> RE: Really...INCREDIBLY...(Stupid) warning labels... (5/30/2007 12:21:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

When i bought my new iron it said "Do not attempt to iron clothing while wearing them" or something of that sort 


Or if you're going to... at least start with your groin area so there's less of a chance that you'll spawn. [:D]

I've seen a few nifty ones. And heard of some really odd ones.

A chainsaw bore the words "do not attempt to stop blades with genitals". Uhh... 'kay. I think I can safely avoid that one.

On an imported kitchen knife (all-time favorite): Keep out of children. But feel free to store them in your household pet.



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2026
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
2.734375E-02